- Home
- If You Were Mine
Page 34
Page 34
Everything Zach had ever thought to be true shifted around inside of him as he looked down at the ring in his hand.
He’d had everything he could have ever wanted in Heather. A lover. A best friend. A partner who wasn’t afraid to give him the kick in the ass he often—usually—needed.
Hadn’t he known from the start that she was different?
And that a love as sweet as hers was something you held on to, no matter what?
Unless, of course, you happened to be the world’s biggest fool.
He closed the box with a snap before shoving it into the pocket of his jeans. “Thanks for the ring, Mom.”
“You’re welcome, honey.” His mother gave him another hug. “Something tells me it’s going to fit her perfectly.”
Chapter Thirty-two
Heather waved the colorful rope at Atlas, but his ears barely perked up even though they were in the middle of the park and it was a beautiful day.
“You need to snap out of it.” She put the rope down and sat on the grass beside her Great Dane. “Your whole world doesn’t begin and end with Cuddles.” At the sound of the puppy’s name, he raised his dark eyebrows with hope. “No, she isn’t coming here today.”
No doubt, Cuddles was at Mary Sullivan’s house for Chase and Chloe’s baby shower. Lori had called and left a message with the invitation, but Heather could only imagine how awkward it would be for everyone if she attended the family party.
When Atlas sadly lowered his big head back onto his paws, she said, “Don’t you remember, you were a perfectly fine dog before her? You’re going to be okay. It will just take a little time, that’s all. Time heals everything. That’s what everyone always says.”
She stroked his soft fur as she looked out at the other people in the park. All happy couples, of course.
Refusing to acknowledge the pain zinging through her, the same way she’d been working to ignore the hollow ache in the center of her chest all week, she told Atlas, “You still have me. I still have you. We don’t need anybody else. And just because those were the greatest two weeks of our lives, doesn’t mean anything. We’re going to be awesome again, just you and me.”
She really did suck at lying. Just like Zach had pointed out that first night in her office when he’d brought her pizza and she’d already wanted him—and liked him—more than she should.
The truth was that she felt anything but awesome. Especially when what stretched out before her was an endless rinse-and-repeat of work and faking smiles for her friends and a bed that had never felt so empty.
Atlas missed his best friend terribly and he’d been sluggish all week. So had she.
Because she missed the man who had become her best friend.
In the span of two weeks, Zach Sullivan hadn’t just managed to get into her pants...he’d charmed his way into her heart. Even worse, his laughter and warmth had taken up residence in her soul.
Just as Atlas couldn’t seem to move on from Cuddles, she hadn’t even come close to shaking herself free of the puppy’s temporary owner.
The worst part about their breakup, though, was that as the days crept by and the dust settled around her bruised heart, she couldn’t help feeling that she’d let him down.
Those first few nights she’d hated herself for thinking she was different, that she could be the one woman a man like Zach could actually fall in love with. But that had been anger, and pride, spinning her wheels. Because regardless of the way the awful scene had played out between them, she couldn’t deny that he’d been hurting.
And that was why he’d let her go.
Okay, so maybe love hadn’t been enough for them...at least, not in that crucial moment of making the choice between staying and going, between keeping and giving away. But could it be? If she gave it another chance and stayed this time, to push past his walls and find out what had hurt him so badly?
Atlas’s sighs turned to snores as he let the warm sun and her hand on his back lull him to sleep. Heather lay down, her head on his back, and closed her eyes. What she wouldn’t do for an hour of restful sleep.
She took in the smells of leaves and fresh-cut grass, the sounds of birds chirping overhead, the laughter from strangers all around her. But instead of feeling a sense of peace at the soothing sounds and sensations, she saw her father’s face in her mind’s eye
Heather found herself watching a seventeen-year-old girl confronting her father with his lies. The girl was so brave, so strong, as the man she had to thank for her dark hair, her long fingers, had laughed in her face as he told her that what she’d found out about his secret life on the road wasn’t true, as he swore she and her mother meant everything to him.
From a distance, she watched that girl turn into a woman, one who believed her duplicitous father was the blueprint for all charming men. That laughing eyes and easy professions of love couldn’t possibly be real.
And then, with perfect clarity, she cut to that moment in the kitchen when the man she loved wrapped his arms around her and the dogs to try to shield her from both past and future pain by simply being there for her.
She sat up suddenly, her eyes opening wide.
All along, Zach had fought for her. From that first moment when he’d insisted she work with him and Cuddles, until he’d gotten in that race car last Saturday, he’d been unrelenting in his insistence that they belonged together. At first, just as friends-with-benefits, until neither of them could keep denying that they were so much more than that.
Her stomach twisted as she realized what she’d done. Or, rather, what she hadn’t.
Don’t stop loving me. No matter what happens, promise me you won’t ever stop.
He’d begged her for that promise as if he’d known it would all come down to one moment when he’d try to push her away.
But instead of fighting for him the way he always fought for her, instead of forcing him to own up to the reasons he was working so hard to push love out of his life, she’d decided it was safer to walk away from him instead. Safer for her.
Atlas opened one eye as she clipped on his leash and leaned in close to his muzzle. “Time to go get the girl and the boy. It’s not going to be easy to win them back,” she said with her first real smile in a week, “but they’re worth it. And we’re not going to give up, this time. No matter what.”
* * *
“Goddamned flat tire!”
Zach should have been able to change a tire in his sleep. But the spare wasn’t cooperating, kept slipping off the studs, while Cuddles sat on the sidewalk beside him and panted her encouragement.
He needed to get out of here to start figuring out a way to win Heather back. He couldn’t stand to waste one more second without her.
A new spare dropped down next to his head and Zach looked up to see Ryan standing there, shaking his head. After all the cracks he’d made about his brothers falling in love during the past year, Zach had expected at least one of them to come out to heckle him.
“You’re a mess. Can’t even change a tire without her around, can you?”
Zach knew he should be thanking his brother for the new tire. Instead, he growled, “You’re not safe, asshole. If this can happen to me—” This being falling in love, of course. “—it can happen to anyone.”
But the brother that was close enough in age for them to practically be twins didn’t look worried as he walked away. He should be, thought Zach. And when the day came that Ryan lost it over a girl, he was going to make sure to rub his brother’s guts in it.
Finally, with the new spare in hand, he started making headway. Five minutes and he’d be out of here and working out a way to make up his colossal screwup to Heather. There had to be some way to get her to accept his apology, he just wished he knew what it was...
Just then, something wet and sticky and overly warm moved over his cheek. He was so surprised, he banged his head on the side mirror. But even though his ears were ringing and it took his vision a couple of seconds to right itself, he could make out the huge paws.
Atlas’s huge paws.
Heather.
He jammed his shoulder against hard metal as he shot to his feet. The woman he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about for one single second stood on the sidewalk.
My God, she was beautiful. The most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
His fingers itched with the need to grab her, to pull her into his arms, to thread his fingers into her hair and kiss her.
“Hi.”
The one short word, more breath than sound from her lips, rocketed through skin and bone, straight into Zach’s heart. A heart that had finally started beating again. Just because she was near.
“I’m sorry.” He’d never apologized for a damn thing in his life, but he would say the words over and over to her until she believed him. “I’m so damned sorry. I was just trying to get this tire on so I could come and tell you. I miss you. I love you. Please come back to me. And bring your mutt for Cuddles. I’m not going to hide anything from you anymore. I’m going to tell you everything, so many things that you’re going to wish I’d never opened the floodgates.”
She looked like she could hardly believe what he was saying, but then shock turned to movement and the next thing he knew she was flying into his arms.
He put his hands in her hair and had his mouth a breath from hers when she said, “Don’t kiss me yet.”
Knowing he was covered in grease and sweat, he asked, “Because I stink?”
“No,” she whispered against his mouth. “I love it when you have one of your rare imperfect moments. It’s because once you kiss me I’ll be too busy wanting you to hear what you have to say and I’ll definitely forget everything I need to say.”
Jesus. That almost pushed him over the edge, but he could see, could feel, how serious she was. “Who first?”
“Me.”
“Talk fast.”
Her mouth curved up into a quick little smile before she took a breath and said, “I’m the one who’s sorry. For leaving you that night.”
What was she apologizing for? “I made you go.”
“You didn’t make me. I could have stayed. I should have stayed and made you tell me what was wrong. I should have done whatever I needed to do to find out what happened to you out there in that burning race car.” She pulled back enough to lift her eyes to his. “What happened, Zach?”
“You were the only thing I thought about during the crash.”
“What about your family?”
“We’ve had my whole life together. But you and me,” he smiled at her, “we’d only had two weeks. It wasn’t enough. I wanted a lifetime of memories with you, not just the ones we’d crammed into fourteen days. It’s no excuse for the way I screwed up, but the thought of leaving you one day the way my father left my mother and all of us...I couldn’t stand it. I’m so much like him that I always thought I was going to die the way he did—too young, without any warning. I was so afraid of leaving you behind that I made you leave me first.” His chest felt tight as the old beliefs tried to take him over again. “I’ve never told anyone that before. Only you. Do you still want to be with me, even if I die the way my father did?”
“Oh, Zach.” Her hand moved to his jaw, her thumb stroking over the fading scratches on his cheek. “You can be such a fool. One I love so much. Of course I still want to be with you.”
That was when he knew for sure that she might actually take him back. Not just because she was in his arms, not just because she’d listened to his apology...but because she’d just called him out on his stupidity, the way she had so many times before.
“Can I kiss you now?”
Her gaze dropped from his eyes to his mouth and he could already taste her sweetness when she said, “Almost.”