Lucas and I shared a glance. No vampires were watching the HQ; I had left the birds. Why hadn’t I thrown them away more carefully? I had tried, but there hadn’t been many options.

From this moment on, my blood supply was cut off—and that meant our time to plan our escape was running out.

Chapter Five

THAT NIGHT, AS I TRIED TO GO TO SLEEP, I KEPT telling myself, You have five days. You were able to last that long without blood when you first left Evernight Academy. That means you can last that long again.

Besides, Black Cross has put me on patrols. I’ll be able to get out, nearly every day, and surely I’ll have chances to eat then. Everything will be okay.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

First of all, my hunger for blood had grown. I’d spent only a month in Black Cross, but my body was continuing to change. The vampire inside me was growing stronger as the human grew weaker.

After I had drunk Lucas’s blood for the first time, my mother had warned me: You’ve turned over the hourglass. What she meant was that my vampire nature had been awakened by the taste of living human blood. Where, before, I’d been a mostly normal teenage girl—albeit one who drank a glass of O positive with her dinner—I wasn’t so normal anymore.

My hearing had become so acute that I could hear people whispering several car cabins down from mine and Raquel’s. My skin had become so pale that a couple of people had remarked on it, though mostly jokingly, like Dana saying that this was what happened when white people tried to live underground. Occasionally the Black Cross patrols crossed the East River bridges to guard areas in Brooklyn or Queens; the mere thought of crossing running water made me nauseated. I felt grateful that the makeshift bathroom in Black Cross headquarters had no mirror, because I suspected my reflection was beginning to fade.

My parents had warned me what happened to vampires who didn’t drink blood. Their appearances continued to change, warping until they looked like the monsters of legend: white, bony creatures whose fingernails jutted out almost like claws. Their hair fell out. Constant hunger caused their fangs to show at all times. Worst of all was the madness; when vampires truly hit the point of blood starvation, their minds went. Instead of behaving more or less like human beings, they became like wild animals, immune to conscience or restraint. Even a good vampire could become a killer if deprived of blood for that long.

Yeah, this is how your parents get you to clean your plate when you’re a baby vampire. The old stories were definitely scary enough to get me to drink my whole glass of O positive back in the day. Now that childhood horror had returned as I wondered every day, Can that happen to me, even though I’m not a full vampire yet? How am I different? How am I the same? How am I supposed to go on, not knowing?

Even while out on the Black Cross patrols I didn’t have a chance to eat. Time and again, I was partnered with people other than Lucas; night after night, we went to locations that offered me no chance to hunt for food. I was never forced to see a vampire being murdered, which was a small mercy, but by this time I was hungry enough to become selfish. I only wanted to drink, and I couldn’t.

Within five days I was desperate. That was the night Lucas and I finally got to patrol together again.

“We have got to come back here once we get some free time again,” Dana said as our group began patrol. The June heat radiated up from the streets, even though it was twilight; sweat beaded the small of my back. “Because this looks like a good place to party.”

All around us were nightclubs and bars—some of which looked seedy to me, while the others looked sleek and expensive. There didn’t seem to be much middle ground. “I think I’d get carded.”

“Slap some makeup on you and Raquel, and y’all would be set,” Dana insisted. “Hey, are you all right?”

“Just tired. They had me do the climbing wall twice today.”

Dana thumped my shoulder. “They’re making you tough.”

Lucas glanced at our leader for the night—it was Milos, one of Eliza’s lieutenants, a rangy guy with white-blond hair and beard. He said to Milos, “I’d like to take Bianca along the east side of our zone. Okay?”

Please say yes, please say yes. Lucas can help me get something to eat, I know he can—

“Suit yourselves,” Milos said. His smile had a knowing quality—almost a smirk—but I didn’t care. Let him think we were sneaking off to make out. I only wished we had that kind of luxury.

Some of the others murmured and giggled, but nobody stopped us as I took Lucas’s hand and we walked together into the dark.

As soon as we were alone, Lucas said, “You look like hell.”

“Maybe I ought to be mad at you for saying that, but I know you’re right.” He was towing me along the sidewalk, beneath a few small trees that had been planted in open squares in the pavement. From the apartments around us, I could hear snatches of salsa music at different tempos, like competing heartbeats. “I have to get something to eat. It’s making me crazy.”

“There’s a hospital not far from the HQ. I was thinking I could break into the blood bank, almost like we did last year, remember?”

It was a good idea for the future, but I needed a faster solution. “Lucas, I can’t wait any longer. I mean it. I have to have blood tonight.”

He stopped, and for a few seconds we simply stared at each other on the sidewalk. Sweat marked the collar of his white T-shirt, and his bronze hair had darkened to the color of night. His thumb brushed my cheek. I was startled by how much warmer his flesh was than mine.