I washed myself quickly and climbed out of the tub. I grabbed the oversize white towel that hung on the hook beside the sink and wrapped it loosely around my body. Wiping away the fog from the mirror, I stared at my reflection. I was pale, heavy dark circles under my eyes. I pulled open the drawer under the vanity and found an unopened toothbrush and tube of toothpaste. I brushed my teeth quickly and ran my fingers through my hair, trying my best to detangle it. When I looked as good as humanly possible, given the circumstances, I slipped the towel off, letting it fall to the floor. With a deep breath, I opened the bathroom door. I glanced around. Mr. Honor was nowhere in sight but I could hear his muffled voice coming from the other side of the room. I walked across the expansive space to his bedroom door. It was open and he was inside, his back to me with his phone at his ear. He was angry and I wondered if I should sneak back to the bathroom and grab the towel. My arm brushed against the door and it opened wider, creaking. Mr. Honor turned around and his eyes locked on to mine. I bit my lip nervously as I stood in front of him, forcing myself not to cover my body.

“Call me back if you hear anything. I have to go.” He said into the phone as his eyes narrowed, dancing over my body. He sat his phone on the dresser as he walked slowly towards me.

“Emma” he whispered quietly and I could not tell if he was upset. His moods changed so often it was hard to keep track of how he felt about me from moment to moment.

He stopped, inches from me, taking in the view.

“Are you mad at me?” I asked. He laughed at the idea.

“How could I ever be mad at you?” he looked genuinely hurt at the idea. He leaned down, kissing me softly on the fore head. I pressed my head harder against his lips and placed my hands softly on his muscular chest. “I’m mad at myself.” He confessed. “Get dressed. I need to take you home.” He turned to his dresser and pulled out a white t-shirt and an old pair of his dark wash jeans.

“But…you said it wasn’t safe for me there.” I took the clothing from him and held it over me.

“It’s not safe for you with me.” He had a pained expression on his face. I stepped towards him but he held up his hand for me to stop. Running his hands through his dark hair, he let out a deep sigh. “You can have the bed, I’ll take the couch.” He walked passed me and out into the main living space, not giving me the chance to object.

I slipped on the oversized white shirt and pulled opened his drawer to put the pants back in. Tucked between the other pairs was a small picture of a woman with long brown hair. I glanced behind me at the door to make sure Mr. Honor was still out in the main area. I flipped the picture over to see if there was a name on the back. In perfect cursive writing was the name Abby. I tucked it back into the drawer and slid in the extra pair of pants. I crawled into the bed and slipped under the covers. That night I dreamed about Mr. Honor with the mystery woman. I pictured him kissing her and holding her. I awoke suddenly, my heart pounding out of my chest, unable to catch my breath. Mr. Honor stood in the dark doorway, his face hard as stone.

“It was just a nightmare.” I reassured him, biting my lip. I could tell by the look on his face he knew I was dreaming about him. He turned and left the room without saying a word. I fell onto the pillow and drifted back off to sleep.

Chapter Twenty-One

Sun poured through the giant bay windows. I sat up, rubbing my eyes and stretching. The smell of coffee wafted through the air. I climbed out of the bed, realizing my bottom was still incredibly sore as I slid off the mattress. I tugged at the t-shirt as I walked out of the bedroom. Mr. Honor stood by the island wearing nothing but his boxer briefs. He ran his hand through his hair when he saw me. I looked down at the ground as I tucked my hair behind my ear.

“Coffee smells good.” I said, trying to sound upbeat. He grabbed the pot and poured a mug for me, and topped his cup off. I watched him over the brim of my mug as he rubbed his eyes. “Didn’t sleep?” I asked and he looked at me for a long moment.

“I had a lot on my mind.” He replied and I struggled to keep my eyes from dancing over his muscular chest. I took another sip of my drink and sat it on the counter.

“I’m sorry about…everything last night”

“I hurt you and you apologize to me.” He laughed sardonically. “Emma, I am no good for you. I knew what I was doing the first moment I saw you. I should have stopped it. I shouldn’t have let it go this far.” His eyes burned into mine.

“I wanted you just as badly as you wanted me.” I replied quietly. He slammed his hands on the counter between us and leaned in closer to me. I jumped at the loud noise.

“I scare you. Good. Maybe now you will stay away from me.” He’s words cut through me like a knife. I could feel my eyes begin to water and I swallowed hard trying to keep them from falling.

“You don’t mean that.” I replied, stepping around the island.

“It’s for your own good, Emma.” He replied sadly. My stomach twisted into knots. I hated him with every fiber of my being. I wanted to run away from him and never look back, but I would have given anything for him to take me in his arms and hold me. I turned and made my way to the bathroom, crying silently to myself. I grabbed my clothes and pulled them on, not bothering to make sure I looked decent in the mirror.

When I came back into the main room Mr. Honor had finished dressing and was waiting by the door for me. I was thankful that I would not have to walk but I knew the car ride would be uncomfortable at best.

It was painful to sit on the seat and I had to angle my body to the side to bear the pain.

“Emma” William said quietly, noticing my discomfort.

“Don’t” I waved him off, trying desperately not to break down in front of him. The rest of the trip we rode in silence. I was angry with myself as I thought of all the things I had done the night before just to get a rise out of him. I pushed him even though I knew how upset I had made him.

We pulled up to the grocery store just down the street from my house. I opened my door, not waiting for him to put the car into park.

“Emma” William called after me but I did not turn around. I dug through my purse, trying to find my keys. I let go of the strap and it fell to the ground, spilling the contents everywhere.

“Shit, Emma” William said under his breath as he came over to me and began collecting my things. Hot tears stung my face and I held my breath trying not to sob aloud. “I’m just trying to protect you.” He said quietly as he ran the back off his fingers over my dampened cheek. He trailed his thumb over my lower lip, letting it linger for a moment before dropping his arm at his side.

“By hurting me,” I blurted out.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. You didn’t use the safe word.” His voice trailed off as he made a look of disgust.

“I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about now.”

His eyes softened and I knew it was only a matter of seconds before he switched off his emotions again. It was something that was becoming all too familiar with.

“You deserve better.” With that, his look became hard and unreadable. I knew there was no reason to continue.

“What about the note. What if someone comes looking for me?” Trying to scare him into staying with me was not my best move, but I hoped it would at least make him realize that he cared for me.

“I will take care of that today.” I did not know what else to say. I had officially given up. I turned and got in my car, cranking the radio loudly. I pulled out and made my way out of the parking lot. William’s car sat unmoving in its spot. Maybe he did care about me. Maybe he was hurting as much as I was. I rolled my eyes at the thought and headed back to my house.

Chapter Twenty-Two

My Aunt’s house was empty and I was relieved that I would not have to explain to her why I was dressed like a three-dollar whore. I rolled my eyes cursing Becka for that. I locked the door behind me as the threatening note crossed my mind. How was he going to take care of it? Had the secretary admitted to writing it? A pang of jealousy came over me as I remembered Mr. Honor with her at the movies. I wondered how often they saw each other. I wondered if he had ever taken her to his place. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind as I made my way to my room. I slipped of the ridiculous clothing and grabbed one of my old favorite t-shirts. I glanced across my bed and my memories flashed to William and me. I felt that warm familiar tingling in my stomach, the way I had when he touched me. I sighed and grabbed my phone from my bag, pulling the door closed behind me. The first thing on my list of things to do was to get something to eat. I had not had anything since yesterday and I was beginning to feel shaky.

I grabbed a box of cereal and made my way into the living room. I clicked through the channels on the television, settling on the movie Fear. My mind was lost in my own memories when my phone lit up. I picked it up, hoping that it was William. The caller I.D. read Becka and I frowned, sitting the phone back on the arm of the chair. A few minutes later it buzzed letting me know I had a new voicemail. I was not in the mood to talk. I turned the television up and spent the next hour getting lost in the movie.

As the day slowly burned away, I made it a point to do things for myself. I began by painting my toenails and fingers a matching deep red. The pink bandage made me look like a walking Valentine’s Day advertisement so I slowly pulled off the pink gauze. My hand looked much better than it had. After I had finished my nails, I put on my favorite bikini I had bought when I first came to Florida. It was solid black with a ruffle across my bottom. I studied myself in the mirror, tugging the bottoms trying to cover the long welt marks that marred my backside. I ran my fingers over them. After a few moments, I managed to pull my thoughts from William and head outside. I lay out in the back yard on an oversized towel. The overwhelming warmth from the sun exhausted me and I fell asleep. Luckily, I awoke before burning myself. My skin had a pale pink hue to it and I was certain that it would be brown by morning.

I felt better as the day went on. Pampering myself always made me feel less sad after a hard day. I decided to top off my spa experience by soaking in the tub with a few candles and some slow music.

I filled the tub to with warm water and added some vanilla scented bubble bath. While it filled, I grabbed my phone and plugged it into a tiny radio so I could play some classical music as I relaxed. I could not find anything to light the candles so I settled for some battery powered ones that my Aunt had picked up at the mall. I lowered my body into the soothing water and let my mind drift off into relaxation. The problem was my thoughts immediately went to William. The smell of his skin, his sexy eyes, that devilish smile, every part of him drew me in and left me wanting more of him. I closed my eyes and let the music take over. The sad slow melody of the piano filled the room and I was able to let it all go.

After the water began to cool, I reluctantly pulled myself from the small tub feeling refreshed and less worried about the situation. I made my way into my bedroom to change into something more comfortable. I pulled on a pair of pajama shorts and a tank top and decided a book would finish off the evening nicely. I picked out an old romance novel that I had bought at the local bookstore a few months back, but had never made time to read. As the pages passed I felt my heart growing heavier. As much as I tried to escape what I was feeling, the words in the book touched a nerve inside of me. I spent the rest of the evening crying quietly alone until I fell asleep, exhausted by my own sadness.

The next morning I decided that as much as I wanted to stay home and sulk I could not pass up the opportunity to see him. He had taken over my thoughts and had become an addiction that I needed to feed. I took extra care to make sure my hair was perfectly straight and my makeup was just enough to show him what he was missing. I drove to school in silence. I was so wrapped up in having to actually look William in the eye I did not even realize the radio was not on.