Thanatos shook her head sadly. She turned from us back to the bodies of the two cats. The High Priestess knelt beside them and, once again, swept her hand gently over each of them. This time the air above the cats began to shimmer and the glittering outlines of Shadowfax and Guinevere materialized-only they weren't the adult cats that lay so still and cold on the area floor. They were kittens. Plump, adorable kittens. "Go to the Goddess, little ones," Thanatos spoke softly, warmly to them. "Nyx and those you love best await you." Young Shadowfax reached a fuzzy paw out to bat playfully at the edge of Thanatos's billowy sleeve before both kittens disappeared in a puff of glitter. I could swear I heard the distant sound of Anastasia's musical laughter, and I imagined she and Dragon must be having a blast welcoming their kittens to the Otherworld.

The Otherworld ...

My mom was there, along with Dragon and Anastasia and Jack and, if I'd been wrong about what I'd seen within Aurox, Heath was there, too. I'd been there. I knew the Otherworld existed as surely as I knew I existed. I also knew it was an amazing, magickal place, and even though it hadn't been my time to die and stay there, the beauty of it still lingered in my mind and my soul, forming a little bubble of wonder and safety that was the complete opposite of what the real world around me had become.

"Would it be so bad if we lost?"

I hadn't realized I'd spoken aloud until Stark shook my shoulder. "What are you talking about, Z? We can't lose because Neferet can't win. Darkness can't win."

I could see his worry and feel his fear. I knew I was freaking him out, but I couldn't stop myself. I was just so damn tired of everything being a struggle between death and Darkness, love and Light. Why couldn't it all just end? I'd give anything if it all would just end! "What's the worst thing that can happen?" I heard myself asking and then kept right on babbling the answer to my own question. "Neferet will kill us. Well, being dead doesn't seem so awful." I flailed my hand in the direction of where the kittens had so recently manifested.

"Jeesh, give up much?" Nicole muttered under her breath in disgust.

"Zoey Redbird, death is far from the worst thing that could happen to any of us," Thanatos said. "Yes, Darkness seems overwhelming now, especially after all we have discovered this night, but there is love and Light here, too. Think of what sadness your words would bring Sylvia Redbird."

I felt a jolt of guilt. Thanatos was right. There were worse things than dying, and those worse things happened to the people you left behind. I bowed my head and stepped closer to Stark, taking his hand in mine. "I'm sorry. You guys are right. I should never have said that."

Thanatos smiled kindly at me. "Go back to your depot. Pray. Sleep. Find comfort and guidance in the words Nyx spoke to us: Hold to the memory of the healing that happened here this night. You will need that strength and peace for the upcoming fight." She hesitated, sighed heavily, and added, "You are so very young."

I wanted to scream I know! I'm way too young to save the world! Instead I stood there silent, feeling stupid and useless while Thanatos bent and gathered the bodies of Shadowfax and Guinevere to her, wrapping them in her voluminous skirts and holding them closely and gently, as if they were sleeping babies. Then she motioned to Kalona saying, "Come with me. I must tell the Sons of Erebus the sad news of the death of their Sword Master. While I do that I would have you begin building a pyre for Dragon and these little ones. It is at the lighting of that pyre that I will officially proclaim you Death's Warrior." Without another look at me, Thanatos walked from the field house. Kalona followed her without glancing at Stark or me.

"Your team, by the way, sucks." Shaking her head, Nicole walked away, too.

I could feel Stark's eyes on me. His hand seemed stiff in mine. I looked up at him, sure that he was going to shake me or yell at me or at the very least ask what the hell was wrong with me. Again.

Instead, he opened his arms, said, "Come here, Z," and he just loved me.

CHAPTER FOUR

Aurox

Aurox ran, not knowing or caring where his body took him. He only understood he had to get away from the circle, from Zoey, before he committed another atrocity. His feet, fully morphed into cloven hoofs, tore the fertile ground, carrying him with inhuman speed through the winter dormant lavender fields. Like the breeze flowing over his body, emotions surged through Aurox.

Confusion-he hadn't meant to harm anyone, yet he had killed Dragon and perhaps even Rephaim.

Anger-he had been manipulated, controlled against his will!