I’ve been driving around since the phone call from the fire marshal this morning. Driving around and thinking, trying not to think, and then thinking some more.

About what to do about my fucked-up life.

I need to free Ashley, but that will have to wait now.

Wait until she and her mother have healed from this most recent development.

I chuckle out loud. Development? Did I really just think of a man’s death in those terms?

God, I’m so fucked up.

I liked Dennis. He seemed like a good guy. Young, strong, robust. Just goes to show you that you never know what’s going on inside a body.

We Steels are always on top of our health. Having a doctor in the family assures that. Physicals and lab work every year, no matter what. It’s saved us on more than one occasion. Aunt Ruby had a small cancerous breast lump a couple of years ago. It was caught so early that she made a complete recovery with no chemo or mastectomy, just a lumpectomy and radiation.

Ava and Gina have already started getting yearly mammograms even though they’re in their twenties. Uncle Bryce had a cancerous mole removed last year. Again, caught early with no ramifications. Dad and Uncle Joe are both on blood pressure meds.

We Steels take care of ourselves.

If only I could heal the mess in my head.

Aunt Mel did her best.

The problem? I wasn’t completely honest with her. Hell, I’m not completely honest with myself most of the time.

I could be that way when I kept all my emotions at bay.

But now?

I will erupt. It’s only a matter of when.

Staying married to Ashley can no longer help me. Not now.

I have to free her.

And in freeing her, I have to accept that I’ll never be free.

A few hours later, Ashley and her mother arrive at my place.

After Willow is settled in one of the guest rooms, Ashley turns to me. “I want to work.”

“What?”

“I’m an intern here. I want to work.”

I get what she’s doing. She’s using work to avoid dealing with life. I’m an expert at that. I’ve often wondered if I’d be as successful as I am without my issues. They give me something to escape from.

“Ashley…”

“I’m not kidding, Dale.”

“Your mother needs you here.”

“But I—”

“Besides, it’s after four. The workday is nearly over.”

“I don’t care. Just give me something—anything—to do. I need to think about something other than this.”

“Okay,” I relent. “We’ll go to the office. I have to tell Uncle Ry what’s going on, anyway. But are you sure you want to leave your mother here alone? She really does need you.”

She opens her mouth and then closes it. “I don’t know. I just… Fuck, Dale. I don’t know.”

“I know, baby.”

And I do. Maybe not exactly what she’s going through, but I get it.

Then, before I can think anything further, she grabs two fistfuls of my hair and pulls my face to hers, kissing me.

I don’t even think about denying her. I can’t. I’ll always hunger for Ashley, and what she needs right now is an escape.

I’ll be that escape. I’ll give her all she needs because the day will come when I have to free her.

That day isn’t today.

I lift her in my arms and carry her to the bedroom. Then I break the kiss. “Your mom…”

“She’s a grown-up,” is all Ashley says before ripping the two halves of my shirt apart. Buttons go flying, pinging against the walls. “Please. I need you.”

She pushes me onto the bed and pulls my boots and socks off my feet. Then she kneels between my legs and unbuckles my belt.

Seconds later, my cock is free from its confinement, and her sweet, hot mouth is on me. She sucks me hard, and already my balls are tightening, scrunching.

She’s still wearing her clothes, and all I can think of is her naked body on top of me, riding me into the sunset.

God, she gives good head. So good I almost feel like I’m buried in her sweet pussy.

“Fuck,” I growl.

If she doesn’t stop…

If I don’t get inside her…

If…

I grab the back of her head, yanking her off my cock. “Get undressed,” I say through clenched teeth. “Now.”

Her clothes fly onto the floor, and then she’s naked, her beautiful body gleaming, her nipples turgid, her breasts rosy.

My whole body throbs in time with my cock.

“Turn around,” I say. “I want to see that ass.”

She obeys, and I gawk at the beauty before me. The ass I was inside on our wedding night. Only days in the past, yet months seem to have come and gone since then.

That night.

That night when I felt so free.

The night I truly thought I could do this. Could be with her forever.

I see now that can never be, but she needs me. Needs me to escape. And I’ll grant her wish.

If only things were different.

If only I could be what she deserves.

I spread her ass cheeks and slide my tongue over her puckered hole.

She shivers. “Feels good,” she croons, almost musically.

I want to take my time with her. Love her. Soothe her. Give her the escape, the need to experience the basest thing in life.

But my cock is so fucking hard.

I turn her around quickly and pull her onto my lap. Right onto my hard cock.

“Fuck,” I growl as she encases me.

Her pink nipples are hard and level with my lips. “Ride me,” I command, and then I grab a nipple between my teeth.

She squeals at the bite I give her.

Which spurs me on further.

She rises and then sinks again onto my erection, and with each stroke of her velvet pussy, I come closer to climax.

I bite her nipple again while I grab the other and give it a good pinch.

She squeals once more and then moans.

And I understand.

She craves the pain. The sharp pain that morphs into pleasure.

It’s a healing salve.

Sure, it’s temporary, but it’s no less real.

She continues fucking me, and I hold still on the bed, letting her control the pace and the depth.

And she does. She goes deep, sitting on me and holding herself there for a few seconds, relishing in the fullness, until she moves upward once more, teasing the head of my cock with her slick pussy lips.