But still, it’s forced.

Those vines may not be people, but to Dale, they are, in a way.

They’re something he’s close to. Something that gives him solace.

And he’ll mourn them as he’ll mourn his birth father.

Already I know this.

“So here’s the situation,” Talon continues. “We’re looking to furlough some staffers due to decreased production and harvest. This isn’t something we like to do, and because it’s been a good year up until now, they’ll be receiving full pay and benefits.”

More murmurs and some claps.

“Those that live in the residences on the Steel property will be able to stay as long as needed. If they find other work, they’re welcome to go if they’d rather. We hope they’ll choose to stay. Turnover costs money, and we pride ourselves on finding the best people to work our land and take care of our business. I’m going to hand it over to Bryce now.”

Bryce Simpson, tall with silver hair and beautiful blue eyes, is the image of Henry in thirty years. “Financially, we’re doing fine,” he says. “Yes, there will be a loss this year, but you all know that this ranch is far from the Steels’ only enterprise. Other investments are doing great, and Melanie, congratulations on your latest book release.”

Jonah’s wife—and Dale’s therapist—waves. “Thanks, Bryce. Jonah promised me he wouldn’t bring that up when there’s so much else going on.”

Jonah laughs. “I kept my promise. I didn’t bring it up. I told Bryce to.”

Laughter all around.

“So the point is,” Bryce continues, “we’re doing great, as always. Yes, we’ll have to make a few adjustments, but it’s nothing we can’t handle. As Ryan said, we’re furloughing some of the orchard and vineyard employees, but they’ll be compensated. Any of you who are interested in looking at numbers, feel free to come by my office, and I’ll explain everything to you. But for now, this isn’t anything to worry about. We’ll be able to fulfill our contracts. We may have less fruit to sell to smaller businesses, but our large contracts will be fulfilled.”

Brock stands then. “I hate it when small businesses take it in the shorts. Sure, we’ll be okay, but what about the Pikes? What about the mom-and-pop shops who depend on our fruit?”

“We’ve got it covered,” Bryce answers. “Like Ry said, we’re going to offer our help to the Pikes, and we can offer small business grants and loans through the foundation, right, Brad?”

Brock’s older brother stands then, and if it’s possible, Bradley Steel is even better looking than Brock. His features are almost feminine, except they’re not, if that makes sense. He’s male model material, with silky black hair and long-lashed hazel eyes.

“Yeah, Henry and I have already been talking internally about what the foundation can do to help.”

I touch Dale’s forearm. “I thought the foundation supported human trafficking and mental illness.”

“It does,” he whispers back. “Those are its two main focuses, but they do other stuff as well. We take care of our community.”

“That’s really nice.” I smile.

Dale doesn’t return my smile, though. He’s still rigid and sullen.

All the talk from his father and uncles about what good shape the ranch is in didn’t affect him at all.

Because to him, the Syrah vines are everything.

And not for the first time, I wonder…

Does he love those vines more than he loves me?

Chapter Nineteen

Dale

My father and uncles keep talking, but I stop listening.

Yes, I get it.

We’re lucky. Damned lucky. The Pikes took the worst of it, and I feel for them. I do. Truly.

But…

I sigh. No one will understand. Even Uncle Ryan stands up there and tries to tell me that my vines are merely things. Things that can be replaced. People can’t be replaced.

Funny thing is that I agree with him. In theory. Even in practice.

Doesn’t make this any easier, though.

Ashley sits next to me, so beautiful and lovely, her smile a beacon in the darkness. The stars shine above, and she rubs her bare arms to warm them.

I’m wearing long sleeves, and though the air is still smoggy from the fire and we’re in a beautiful Indian summer, she’s a California girl. She’s chilly.

“Come here.” I pull her into my lap and wrap my arms around her.

She darts her gaze around at the others, all seated at surrounding tables in the backyard. “Dale…”

“What?”

“Here?”

“You’re cold. I’m helping you stay warm. Everyone knows about us anyway, thanks to my mother.”

Yeah, my voice has a definite edge. I’m not angry with my mother so much as… I’m not sure, really. She just irks me sometimes. If Dad had done the same thing, I wouldn’t be irked.

Fuck. Why am I even like this?

Except I know why.

It’s not the abuse I endured as a child.

It’s not the fire and the loss of the vineyards.

It’s not even my father’s confession, though all those things play a role.

It’s something else.

That sinister memory that threatens to surface the more I allow my emotions to control me.

And Ashley…

She brings out emotion in me like no one ever has.

It dawns on me then.

Why my mother irks me. Why I never allowed myself to get close to her.

Because I know how much I loved my birth mother. Losing her, especially after the abduction and torture, nearly broke me.

I couldn’t get close to another mother. Couldn’t set myself up for that again.

Why?

Why now?

Why, after years of therapy, do I just now realize this?

Jade Steel deserves better, and now that I’ve opened up this can of worms—aka emotion—perhaps I can give it to her.

What the hell? I’m all in now, anyway.

I’ll never be able to bury the feelings I possess for Ashley. She fits perfectly in my arms, and even though my groin is tightening as she sits on my lap, I feel so much more than lust and even love for her.

I feel whole.

A wholeness I’ve never felt before. Never allowed myself to feel.