“Will you stop talking now?” I asked, my voice small.

I understood logically what he was saying but for some, malevolent reason, that monster in me fed on the guilt and it was growing out of control.

I knew Hop saw this when he replied, “I will but I’m givin’ you fair warning, you’ve had time. That time is runnin’ out. You mean somethin’ to me in a way, for a man, he wants the world to know it. I’m proud you’re on my arm and in my bed and I want to share that with my family. Don’t keep takin’ that away from me.”

I stared into his eyes as the monster deflated inside me.

Poof!

Then I tucked my chin and planted my forehead in his chest.

Oh God.

I was in love.

God. I’d fallen in love with Hopper Kincaid.

“You gonna find it in you to help me slay that monster?” he asked, his arms moving around me.

No, I probably wasn’t.

I just knew right then Hop had it in him to do it.

Still, I answered, “Yes, Hop. But give me a few more days. Okay?”

“You got it, baby.”

You got it, baby.

I had it.

I love you, I thought but the words didn’t come out.

Instead, I wrapped my arms around him and held tight.

“What’re we doin’ for dinner?” he asked.

I closed my eyes and held tighter.

He was letting it be.

I so totally loved him.

I opened my eyes and dropped my head back. “Takeout?”

“Works for me.”

I gave him a shaky smile.

His return smile wasn’t shaky.

“Hop?”

“Right here, lady.”

“Find it in you to give Shy and Tab a chance.”

“You already talked me to that conclusion, babe.”

Yes. I was in love with Hopper Kincaid.

“Good,” I whispered.

“Chinese, pizza, or Mexican?” he asked.

“You pick.”

“Mexican,” he decided.

“Perfect,” I agreed.

He dropped his lips and brushed them against mine, his ’tache tickling me.

Then he let me go and went to the fridge to get a beer.

I watched him, thinking, a badass biker in faded jeans, a faded black henley and beat up motorcycle boots. He needed a haircut and a shave. He used profanity way too often. And there were shadowy things in his life he had to protect me from.

But, yes.

All that was perfect.

Absolutely.

Chapter Fourteen

Get Him Back

Three days later…

I stood at the sink in Hop’s bathroom, wearing nothing but my underwear, looking at myself in the mirror, so I didn’t miss it when Hop, in a pair of cutoff black sweats, slid in behind me.

I watched with some fascination as he wrapped his flame-tattooed arms around me and dropped his head to touch his lips to my shoulder.

His mustache tickled and I felt that thrill on my shoulder and down my spine.

He needed a shave, like four days ago.

I didn’t tell him this because, although he needed one, I liked it that he was a man who didn’t care.

He lifted his head and caught my eyes in the mirror.

“You good?” he asked.

I nodded.

“Sure?” he pushed.

“No,” I whispered.

Today was the day.

I’d told him the night before that I was ready. I was going to take off work a bit early the next day, hit Ride and talk to Tyra.

I’d had several conversations with Tyra since the Tabby and Shy drama went down to make certain all was well, and because she shared that prior to the faceoff in the Compound, she and Tabby had had a scene. Ty-Ty felt badly she jumped to conclusions about Shy and she’d hurt Tabby, who she adored.

Further, we’d learned that Tabby’s mother had shown on Chaos when she was not wanted (and when the boys told you that you weren’t wanted, any sane person would stay away) to share the news that Tabby’s grandmother had died. So I also wanted to see if Tabby was okay without bothering Tabby, who’d had a rough couple of days, in order to ask.

So I was going to Ride to take my friend’s pulse.

I was also going to Ride to talk to her about how I felt about what befell her because of Elliott and the decision I made and… God… to find out how she felt about it.

Last, I was going to tell her that Hop and I were together, I was in love with him, and I hoped we’d be together for, well… ever.

And I was terrified.

“She loves you,” Hop told my reflection, pressing his front deeper into my back. “She doesn’t blame you. But she worries about you. This will make her feel better and, however that monster is twisting it inside you, lady, I swear to f**k, it’ll make you feel better too.”

I hoped he was right.

Hop watched the anxiety move through my features and his arms got tighter.

“Baby, seriously, it’s been f**kin’ years. You think she’d drink with you, let you spend time with her boys, make you a part of her family, if she held a grudge?”

“This feeling isn’t logical, Hop.”

“This feeling, honey, isn’t about Tyra.”

I blinked.

“What?”

He held my eyes in the mirror then he kissed my shoulder again before looking back at me. “You get this step done, we’ll get into the rest of it later.”

My hands moved quickly to his arms when he made a move to let me go, so he stopped.

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“Proud of you,” he replied and that was nice but it didn’t answer my question so I opened my mouth to speak but he kept going before I could start. “This is a big step. I see it’s takin’ a lot out of you. But you know in your gut she doesn’t blame you. You blame yourself. That’s somethin’ else to get over. But, baby, this is about that and it’s more. No one, man or woman, lies bleedin’ on a floor with someone they love lyin’ dead feet away and comes away from that unmarked. Your issues don’t end here, lady. My guess, you’re focusin’ on this so you won’t focus on that. So we’ll focus on this, get past it, then I’ll help you focus on that. But bottom line, step by step, we’ll beat this shit.”

“I’m not sure that makes me feel better, Hop,” I confessed.

“And you aren’t gonna feel better for a while, Lanie,” he told me flat out. “You go into battle, it f**ks you up. Then you come out a winner, you’re just that, a winner.”