Already she saw him squeezing the steering wheel, and she could only pray Grayson wouldn’t be at her place when they got there. For a moment, she actually considered texting Nellie her address and having her send Abel and Hector there.

To her enormous relief, neither Grayson’s truck nor his squad car was there. Her father wasn’t home yet either. Ella braced herself as she walked up the front porch. She planned on taking her time unlocking the front door, possibly taking a few deep breaths before walking in, but Memo opened the front door before she could get to it.

“How was it?” He turned to Felix and greeted him cheerfully, doing the man shake thing then turned back to Ella. “Where’s Dad?”

“He’s on his way,” she said, looking past him.

Thankfully, it wasn’t completely empty. She and Memo had spoken about this, and she didn’t want her dad too traumatized by this. Even when her mother had been alive, their home had always been on the cluttered side but never to the point where her dad had taken it.

Ella walked in slowly and said hi to Sonia, whose eyes were a bit bigger than the norm at the sight of Felix in Ella’s house. She glanced around, unable to believe how spacious the house actually was without all of the boxes. As she’d requested, there were still totes under the dining room table and a few lined against the walls.

“Those all have the real important stuff, right?”

“Yes,” Memo assured her. “And the shed in the back is pretty much stacked to the door with the stuff I knew he’d freak out about if it wasn’t here. His bedroom still has totes but nothing stacked high, and he’ll actually be able to sleep in his bed again. Check out the kitchen.” Memo held out his hand for Ella to behold the newly organized kitchen.

Sonia smiled. “Memo and I thought if he could see how nice it is to be able to cook in the kitchen and not have to use that propane stove outside he might appreciate this clean-out a little more. So we made spaghetti.”

Ella brought her hand to her mouth. She hadn’t seen the kitchen like this in years. The counters and sink and stove were cleared off except for the decorations Memo and Sonia had left out. Her mother had picked out the old rooster stuff herself, and Ella hadn’t seen it in so long it actually choked her up.

The front screen door closed, and they all glanced at each other, eyes wide, then quickly walked back into the front room where her dad stood, looking very stunned.

“Daddy,” she said, her voice a little shaky, “we didn’t throw anything away.”

He didn’t say a word just kept looking around, and Felix squeezed Ella’s hand, nodding softly as if to say “it’s gonna be fine.”

Her dad walked past them into the hallway toward his room. Ella and Memo exchanged worried glances. They waited a little, expecting him to come out. When Ella heard his sobs, her heart jumped to her throat. She dropped Felix’s hand and rushed towards her dad’s room. “We’ll get it all back, Daddy,” she cried out. “I promise. I’m so sorry!”

Ella froze at sight of her father holding a pillow against his chest, rocking back and forth and crying like a baby. “I don’t wanna sleep in this bed without her.”

The second she was able to pull herself out of her stupor she was immediately at his side, arms around him and crying with him. “You don’t have to.”

It had never occurred to her that maybe that’s why he’d buried the bed so there’d be no way he could sleep on it. In hindsight, it did happen when her mom was first admitted into the hospice to spend her last days there. Ella had been so preoccupied and numb during that time she’d hardly noticed, and by the time her mom had passed, it was just the norm to see her dad sleeping in the back room. Her mother’s death had left her dad shattered. Ella didn’t dare scold him about what he’d done to the room.

Since then, she’d gently asked him every now and again when she saw him getting ready for bed in the back room when he was going to start cleaning the room so he could sleep in there again. His answer was always the same. “Soon, I promise.”

Her father had cried when her mother passed but nothing like this. Now Ella could only assume he’d held it together for her and Memo’s sake. It tore her heart out to know now what he’d been holding in all this time.

“I didn’t know,” she whispered, kissing the side of his face, her own tears streaming down her face.

Looking up to see Sonia holding her brother now as he, too, fell apart in his girlfriend’s arms only brought more tears. “You don’t have to sleep here, Dad. And we’ll bring all your stuff back if you want.”

Her dad shook his head, pulling himself together a bit because he no longer sobbed. But he did take a trembling breath, frowning at her when he saw her tears. He wiped one side of tears away with his thumb. “I didn’t mean to upset you, mija.”

She shook her head. “No, Dad, I’m sorry. I didn’t know this would be so upsetting to you. I mean I knew you might be a little, but I had no idea it would be like this.”

Her dad took a longer more determined breath. “I’m not upset about the cleaning, Ella. I should’ve done it a long time ago. It was a safety hazard, and I’d never forgiven myself if either of you got hurt. I promise it’ll never get that bad again.”

Ella hugged him tightly, so relieved he was at least taking that part well, but still felt incredibly emotional, knowing how much pain he’d been holding in all this time.