As I walked across the festival grounds toward the performers area, my stomach twisted in knots. Why had Jax left me on the tour bus? Why had the entire band left with him? The more I thought about it, the worse I felt. After the talk we'd had last night, being left alone on the tour bus without a word gave me the sinking feeling that Jax was pushing me away.

Sky and Chewie were standing outside and chatting as I approached the performers area. They saw me and waved. I waved back. They got me through security without issue and soon I was talking to Sky face to face while Chewie went to go find Kev.

"Where were you guys this morning?" I asked her, trying to keep my voice casual. "I know I slept in, but it wasn't that late!"

Sky rolled her eyes and jammed her hands in her pockets. "Sorry, Jax had it in his head that we needed to get here early for something, but when we got here it turned out he was wrong."

"Oh," I said, my heart sinking still further. So Jax had been the one that got them up and out the door without a thought for me at all. "What did he say it was?"

"Some interview thing," she said with a shrug, her eyes darting around. "After the fire yesterday, I guess. Who knows? Listen, why don't we go get a cup of coffee at the food area? It's still early."

I shook my head. "No, I want to talk to Jax first. Do you know where he is?"

Sky bit her lip. "No. Why don't we get that cup of coffee and you can find him later?"

I pressed my lips together and studied her face. Something was off. "No, I think I'll go to the performer's lounge and wait for him. It's important."

Her face twisted into a brief grimace. "You really don't want to do that. I mean it."

Her words made my mouth feel dry. What the hell was going on in there? Waving off Sky's protests, I walked briskly toward the makeshift performers hall, which was usually used for farmers markets. Temporary partitions with flimsy doors separated the individual band areas. After a few minutes, I found the one labelled "Hitchcocks," knocked once, and opened the door.

Jax sat in a chair facing the door. A platinum blonde groupie straddled him. His hands were by his sides. She had her fingers down by his belt buckle and her shirt off, though a black bra was still on.

Anger burned in my chest and made my cheeks flush. The groupie turned with a languid movement when I came in and eyed me curiously.

What was this girl doing with Jax? What was he doing with her? My lips curled and I took several shallow breaths. Even though I'd known that Jax and I were on the rocks, I hadn't expected this. I trusted him.

But it had happened. Struggling to keep myself steady, I looked this groupie in the eye and pointed to the door. "Get out of here," I said, my voice shaking slightly. "Now."

She turned back to Jax, as if for confirmation. He sighed and pointed to the door himself. "That's my girlfriend," he said tiredly. "You need to go."

She paused for a moment then shrugged, got off of Jax, and retrieved her shirt from the floor. Soon she was gone.

Once the door was closed, I turned to face Jax. He sat and looked at me with his eyes glazed, as if the last bits of his life had been tugged out of him. The sight made me pity him for just a moment before I remembered what I had just seen.

"Jax," I asked quietly, trying to keep myself steady. "What the hell was that?"

He looked away, refusing to meet my eyes, and shook his head.

My jaw clenched. "Who is she?"

He shrugged, refusing to meet my eyes. My heart pounded in my chest as I waited for him to respond, but he wouldn't say a word.

Realization set in. He knew I'd come here. He'd wanted me to catch him. He wanted to push me away.

But why this way? I let out a short, dejected sigh as an unbearable weight settled on my chest. "Jax, what are you doing?"

He bit his lip, hard, and after a moment finally looked up at me. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice low as if he didn't have the strength to speak any louder. His dark eyes locked onto mine for a second before he shook his head and let his gaze fall back down to the floor.

I watched him and pressed my lips together, my throat closing tight. "You're sorry?" I choked out. "Is that all you have to say to me right now?"

He froze for several seconds, seemingly gathering himself. "It's done," he said finally, shaking his head. "There's nothing to talk about."

Pain shot through my entire body. I threw my hands up as tears blurred the corners of of my vision. "What's done?" I said through my teeth, struggling to fight back my frustration. "Are you breaking up with me? Because I'm not dumping you just because I caught you pulling some stupid stunt with a groupie."

He flinched, briefly, and rubbed his eyes for several seconds before looking away. I gave him time to get his words together, but after a while he looked back down at the floor.

His silence was killing me. I balled my fists up in frustration. "Damn it, Jax!" I snapped, unable to keep the hurt and bitterness out of my voice, and not caring. "Why are you doing this? Did you ever care about me at all?"

He started, as if snapped out of a trance, and looked up at the ceiling before finally bringing his gaze to meet mine. The shadows under his dark eyes told me he hadn't slept at all, and pain etched deep lines in his face. "Damn it, yes!" he said, his voice tortured. "That's why I'm doing this, Riley. Why are you dragging it out and making this worse for both of us?"

Stabbing hurt wracked my body. It was a moment before I could speak, while I weighed each word that I wanted to say to him. "Because I still think we can make it work. Just give us a chance, Jax. You just told me about this yesterday. We haven't had any time to even figure out a way past it."

He shook his head. His unfocused eyes gazed over my shoulder for a moment, then refocused on me. "No. You'll get hurt."

"What, that concert yesterday? Jax, we already—"

"No!" Jax shouted.

I flinched back at his sudden outburst. Finally, he had come to life.

"No," he continued, more quiet but no less intense,"It's not just the concert. It's the fucking nightmares. It's stuff like the shit on the motorcycle. It's me living in terror that I am going to hurt you because of this fucking condition."

I shook my head, not willing to let him make that choice for me. "Jax, I'm not some fragile doll you need to protect. Let me make my own boundaries."

"No," he said firmly, shaking his head. "I can't let you get hurt."

I grimaced and tried to hold myself together. "If you're breaking up with me for my own safety, why can't you let me make that decision?"

He looked back down at the ground. "Because you won't," he said, his voice quiet.

The world seemed to stand still and I swallowed painfully.

He brought his gaze back to meet mine. "You won't leave me, Riley. You'll stick by me until the end. I don't know how it's going to happen, but if we stay together it will happen, and it's going to be ugly."

A shiver went down my spine. The hard intensity in his face scared me.

"I can't let that happen," Jax said, his voice nearly a whisper. His dark eyes looked haunted, as if the life had been sucked from him.