Page 27

For me, the time crawled to a standstill as I waited in a booth in a corner of the club, my mind returning over and over again to the flash of Jax's motorcycle disappearing from my view. His nonchalant attitude didn't reassure me. On the contrary, I felt more worried about him than ever.

I'd already seen how his moods could get out of control. The thousands of dollars in smashed guitars was proof enough of that. Now Sky's story kept echoing around in my head. Jax had been this way before. What was stopping him from turning to risk-taking again?

In spite of my fears, the trip back was completely uneventful. Anyone seeing Jax on his bike this time around would have thought he was a model rider. There was no trace of the reckless, foolhardy biker who had practically dared a truck to splatter him across I-5. But at some point, he might put himself in danger he couldn't get out of—and I had no idea how I could stop him.

As we boarded the bus, a muffled thumping floated down from the second floor, followed by a rhythmic twang.

I cocked my head to listen. The sound of Chewie's practice pads and Kev's guitar meant that the rest of the band had come back from downtown and wanted to catch up on practice too.

Jax kissed me and headed upstairs to the Fortress of Solitude. Knowing he'd probably be busy practicing for hours, I got out my phone and scrolled through the contacts.

Just call Jen. She'll know what to do. Or at least she'll be able to give you a hell of a pep talk.

I dialed her number. It rang once, and immediately I heard her voice. "This is Jen, I can't come to the phone right now. . ."

Damn it. Really what I wanted to do was talk to Sky, but if she was practicing, I was on my own. Maybe Kristen could help. Even though she'd never met Jax, at least I could air out my worries. She could tell me I was making a big deal over nothing, and then I'd feel better.

But she wasn't there, either—and I didn't feel like pouring out my troubles to voicemail.

Sighing, I headed up to the rooftop deck. If my friends weren't around, I'd have to tell my troubles to a nice stiff drink as the sun set. At least with the band practicing, the deck was all mine.

When I opened the roof door, I blinked in surprise.

A purple mat lay on the deck floor. Sky lay on her stomach, her back arched as she stretched her arms backwards to grasp her ankles. Her face showed signs of strain, but as she caught my eye she gave me a quick smile.

"Oh, sorry," I murmured.

"No, it's okay," she said, sounding a little out of breath. She released her legs and eased them down onto the mat. "I've done enough poses for today."

"I thought you were practicing with the guys," I said, smiling a bit at my good fortune. It looked like I'd be able to get this load off my chest after all.

Sky stood up and stretched, then grabbed a towel that hung from one of the barstools. "Sometimes I'd rather do this than practice. It gets me loose."

I joined her at the bar. Picking up a bottle of rum, I swished around its contents. "This stuff works better than yoga for that. Care to join me?"

"Sure," she replied, rubbing the towel over her neck. "But make mine a small one. I've hardly eaten all day."

As I mixed fruit juice with the rum in two glasses, I snuck a furtive glance at Sky. Even though we were cordial, we didn't have the kind of friendship that allowed for much talk about Jax's inner life. We didn't talk about Jax at all, usually. But she'd known Jax for forever, and if anyone could make sense of Jax's erratic behavior, it was her.

I handed her the drink. "Here you go," I said, taking a sip of my own while I tried to figure out what to say.

Sky sat down next to me, the towel draped around her shoulders. "I'm glad you came up," she said, taking a sip from her glass. "Actually, I had a question for you." She paused, looking nervous as she waited for a response.

I lifted my eyebrow and smiled, even though her hesitation put me on alert. "Go for it," I said.

She exhaled and shifted on her barstool. "What's going to happen with you and Jax after the end of the tour?"

The irony of it struck me, and I laughed, even though her question wasn't funny. She gave me a confused look and I hurried to explain. "It's funny you should ask. I wanted to talk to you about Jax too," I said. "I didn't know how to bring it up though."

"Me either!" Sky said, a relieved smile appearing on her face.

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand as I tried to organize my thoughts. I wished I could tell her I knew exactly what would happen with me and Jax, but the truth was, I didn't know. I trusted that he meant what he said about staying together, but who knew what could happen to upset our plans?

"We're going to make it work long distance until he gets back to New York," I said, trying to sound more confident than I felt. "We're committed to making this happen, even though it'll be hard."

Sky's eyes lit up at my words. "That's great, Riley. You've made such a difference in his life." Her face grew serious again. "I mean it. When he's with you . . . I've never seen him happier. Except for lately, but I'm sure that's nothing."

I frowned at the last part. "What do you mean?"

Sky looked embarrassed. "Well, after his collapse, I mean. He gets better, but then he gets worse. For a while I thought nothing could get through to him. But you did it before. I'm sure you'll do it again. It'll just take time."

I gave her a stiff smile. Though her words were meant to be comforting, they struck at the very heart of my worries. What would happen to Jax after I left? Therapy had improved his mood on the surface, but after what I'd seen today, I couldn't take any comfort in it. Something deeper was clearly at work. What if therapy wasn't really helping? And in a few days, if he took a turn for the worse again, he'd be alone.

"So do you think he's getting better?" I asked, trying hard not to show anxiety on my face.

She gave me a curious look. "Don't you?"

"Yes," I said quickly, fighting back the urge to confess all my worries to her. The thought of just unloading it all was tempting, but gnawing insecurities made me stop. The possibility remained that I'd worked myself up over nothing, and spilling my guts would only worry Sky—and make me look like the world's neediest girlfriend. I could ask what I needed to know without telling her all my fears.

"Actually, I had a question for you too," I said, careful to keep my voice casual. "When you told me that story about Jax going subway surfing and doing other risky stuff, it made me wonder. What did he look like after he did something like that?"

Sky paused to think. "Umm . . . high? I think. Like a junkie," she said, laughing. "After a hit."

Even though the sun warmed the roof, I shivered. I didn't know any drug addicts, but I wasn't naive either. What I'd seen in Jax's strangely excited eyes could be described in just that way.

Sky broke into my reverie. "Why, is something wrong?" she asked, concerned.

"Nothing's wrong," I lied, wishing that I could believe my own words. I didn't want to worry her. I didn't even know if Jax would do anything that risky again. I had no real reason to assume he would. "That story just made me curious, that's all. I'm still trying to get a picture of what Jax was like when he was younger."