From the way Killian sounds, he clearly thinks I’m calling to whine. “Er … Okay, I think I should stop you right there—”

“This isn’t about me. I’m not trying to gain any points here. It’s over. But John needs a friend now. No,” I amend, “he needs you. Out of all the guys, he needs you here.”

Killian is silent for a beat. “You two broke up but you’re worried about him?”

My smile is bitter, but he can’t see it. “I realize I probably sound slightly crazed right now.”

Killian grunts.

“John has been walking on eggshells around you guys. For two years. And that’s not okay. So, please, just come home.” I take a ragged breath. “Come home so I can leave knowing he’s … okay.”

I can feel the building pressure behind my eyes. Another few minutes and I won’t be able to hold it all in.

When Killian finally speaks, his voice is unbearably soft. “Why did you guys break up?”

The room before me blurs. I bite the inside of my lip so hard it hurts. “Because I wasn’t what he needed.”

“Somehow,” Killian says, “I doubt that, Stella.”

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Stella

* * *

I want to go flying. I want to go so badly, a small, childlike whine leaks from my lips. In the cozy cockpit of my plane that smells of metal and heat and AV gas, I will be safe, free. I am competent up there in the thin blue sky and wispy clouds. No one can hurt me up there. Only myself. Because flying while this emotional is just asking to die. Besides, Hank would take one look at me and know I’m done in. He’s want to know why, and my pride cannot manage anymore battering.

So I’m instead I’m waiting for the cab I called, dying a little inside with each passing minute. A massive white SUV with tinted windows pulls up in front of me. I recognize Bruce driving, and for a painful, tight moment, I think it must be John in the back of the car. He’s come to apologize, to tell me he was wrong. But even as the thought begins to crystallize, I shatter it. I’m not going to hope.

The back door opens, and the tiny shards of hope I hadn’t crushed turn to dust. Brenna smiles at me, the expression a bit strained but obviously trying not to be.

“Come on. Get in,” she says, waving me over.

“Is this an abduction?” I’m surprised I can even talk past the lump in my throat.

“Yes,” Brenna says, “of the friendly kind.”

Since I can’t very well take off down the road and keep my floundering dignity, I walk over to the SUV. “I can’t leave my stuff.”

“Bruce is taking care of it.”

“What—” I glance back to see Bruce picking up my bags and striding over to the trunk. “You don’t have to do that. I have a cab coming.”

“Already done,” Bruce says with a wink and closes the back.

“Get in the car, Stella.” Brenna grins at me. “Don’t make me drag you in here.”

“Okay. But, fair warning, I bite.”

Brenna laughs. “A little mean. I like it.”

She scoots back and I get in, shutting the door behind me. Once inside, I find Sophie there as well, sans baby Felix. She gives me a cheery smile as the car pulls out into traffic.

“So,” I say with false bravado, “is this some sort of cult indoctrination?”

“Oh, for sure.” Sophie reaches over to the built-in bar in front of us. “The cult of caring about super-hot but boneheaded and sometimes clueless men. It’s a blessing and a curse.”

I snort, but secretly, I want to cry. I won’t, though. I refuse to.

“You want an iced tea? Or maybe fruit juice?”

Honestly, I’d expected her to pull out some champagne, diva style. Then again, Sophie is breastfeeding and nowhere close to being a diva. I sigh and try to let go of the cagey feeling tightening my chest. “An iced tea would be good.”

She hands me a bottle of cold tea, then grabs a pink lemonade. Brenna, on the other hand, reaches over and pulls out a beer. I laugh at the side eye she gives Sophie.

“Or we have beer,” Sophie says with a sheepish smile. “I kind of have my alcohol blinders on these days.”

“Tea is fine,” I assure her, taking a long sip. “So, what’s up with the curbside abduction?”

“I’m taking you home with me,” Brenna says.

God, a pity pickup. I should have known. Even though my insides are shaking, I force a light tone. “You’re hot and all, but unfortunately, I don’t swing that way.”

Sophie snorts.

But Brenna simply eyes me. “That’s too bad. You’ve got the whole good girl just waiting to be corrupted vibe going on.”

“It’s a front. I was always corrupted.” And then John broke me by making me believe in forever.

Brenna laughs, but I have the feeling she knows very well that I’m just trying to make it through each minute. “You asked Killian to come home, and now you’re out of one. Where are you staying now?”

Initially, I’d considered going to Hank and Corinne. I’d quickly squashed the idea. I can’t do it. Not again. Call it stupid pride; I don’t care. The idea of telling them that John left me and I have no place to go makes me sick to my stomach. If I’m going to be alone in this world, I have to keep walking on my own two feet.

My fingers tremble as I trace through the condensation beading over the tea bottle, I turn my attention to the traffic we’re crawling through. “Short-term rental. It’s all good.”

Sophie blows a half-hearted raspberry. “A black-light, Pollock-inspired jizz fest? Stella, no.”

Brenna half turns in her seat. “I’m not going to force you, but I have a great place with a lot of room. And I want you to stay with me.”

“Why?” It comes out way too warbled. “You’re John’s friend, his family, really. You don’t need me hanging around like a pall.”

“Jax is my friend,” she agrees. “And I love him like a brother. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be your friend too.”

“I was kind of hoping I’d just go somewhere and lick my wounds in private.”

Sophie touches my knee, her brown eyes wide and pained. “I know what it’s like to feel alone and heartbroken. It blows. But the worst part is not having a shoulder to cry on. Please let us do that. Brenna is right—we like you. It doesn’t have to be about Jax.”

Except it will be. Right now, he’s all I can think about, and it blows. “It would be better for both of us if I just got out of his life completely.”

They’re both silent for a moment, and the sounds of car horns and the general buzz of the city seeps in. I turn away from the window and stare blindly down at my hands. I can’t even enjoy my city; I see him everywhere in it now.

“Do you really believe that?” Brenna asks softly.

My laugh is bitter. “Why shouldn’t I?”

She licks her lips and leans closer. “Jax is going through a rough spot right now. I’m not going to make excuses or try to figure out what he’s thinking. What I do know is that he’s never gotten attached to a woman. He’s never tried before you.”

“I know that.” My fingers clench around the slippery bottle. “I know he tried with me. And it didn’t work …” My voice cracks, and I look away. “Some things don’t work out, no matter how much you want them to.”