Author: C.J. Roberts

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday dear, James.

Happy birthday to you.

I scrunched my face. When had I learned that song?

Wake up, Birthday Boy. It’s time for one of your presents.

Something soft touched my face.

Wake up, Sexy. It’s your birthday.

I smiled both inside and outside the dream. Livvie. She was real. She was with me. She was mine. If the dream had been good—and it had been—waking up had been even better.

I opened my eyes slowly. Reality and fantasy rearranged themselves in my mind until everything was clear. I smiled when I saw Livvie standing by the side of the bed. She raised her arm and tickled my face with a long feather. I rubbed my nose.

“That’s not what that’s for,” I said. My voice was rough. I yawned and stretched.

“Want me to tickle your penis?” She flicked the feather over the tent in the sheets.

I put my hand over my erection and turned away.

“No. That’s not for you. I have to go to the bathroom.”

“Well get up! I have a whole day of birthday activities planned and you’re spoiling my fun with your sleeping… and your pee boner.”

I laughed.

“I hate when you call it that.”

“Yeah? Well I hate that I can’t play with it. Why the hell is it so hard if I’m not supposed to play with it? That’s false advertising, Mister.”

I flopped onto my back and threw my arms across my eyes.

“Fine. Ravage me. But don’t expect to go anywhere for a while.” The last time she mounted my morning erection I couldn’t come for over an hour. Livvie had to take a nap when we finished and the whole morning had been appropriated.

“Le sigh. It’s going to have to wait. We have plans. Now, get up!” Livvie put her hands on my stomach and bounced me up and down.

“Stop!” I really had to piss. I grabbed Livvie around her waist and pulled her into the bed with me. She squealed as I tickled her. “I’m going to do this until you pee!” Her legs were kicking, but I threw the comforter over them until she was trapped.

“Oh, god! Oh, please. Please stop!” She was laughing despite the panic I could see in her eyes.

“Are you sorry?” I teased.

“Yes! Please!” Livvie was panting by the time I stopped tickling her. She smiled up at me.

“Can I kiss you?” I asked.

“You haven’t brushed your teeth.” She wrinkled her nose.

“I know. That’s why I asked.” I was already leaning down toward her mouth. I kept it brief. I hopped off of her quickly and made my way into the bathroom before she could try to retaliate.

There was a knock on the door.

“Meet me downstairs when you’re done. I made breakfast.”

“Okay,” I said.

Once I was done using the bathroom, I washed my hands and brushed my teeth. As I wiped my face on a purple hand towel (Livvie had worked her frilly girl-magic in our bathroom), I stared at myself in the mirror. It was my first birthday. I was twenty-eight. The feeling was surreal. I wondered if I looked my age.

This is my life. I was a whore in my youth, a killer since my adolescence, and a monster as a man. Who am I now? What am I now? I shrugged.

Livvie and I had been living together for about four months. It had taken some getting used to in the beginning. I wasn’t accustomed to having another person around me every day. Although, having already spent so much time with Livvie during her captivity and also having made every effort to see her often while we were dating made it somewhat easier to adjust. If I needed to hide out for a while, I would usually go upstairs to work on Livvie’s library/office some more. Otherwise, I was downstairs working on building new sets to exorcise my perversions (a few of the perversions were her ideas). Livvie made me put a lock on the door so no one would accidentally stumble across it.

Livvie didn’t seem to have much of an adjusting issue at all. She explained she was used to a house full of loud people. If anything, she sometimes didn’t like the size of the house. She said it was so big it felt empty sometimes. However, Claudia and Rubio practically lived with us, so that didn’t last very long. On the days Livvie needed to be alone, she was usually upstairs writing on her laptop.

I was ever changing and discovered that while some things would always make me uncomfortable—Livvie’s new phone-relationship with her mother, meeting new people, attending film festivals (I love Livvie, but some of those people are so dull!), and explaining my lack of actual employment—I was happy being James. Admittedly, there were moments when I missed my former life, but for the most part I was becoming more comfortable with my new life and the things that came with it: Livvie, friends, and… birthdays.

Livvie was impatiently waiting for me once I reached the bottom of the stairs. She’d made small pancakes with strawberries and bacon. They were arranged in a smile on my plate.

“I was expecting a bowl of cereal,” I quipped.

“Don’t worry, I’m saving that for tomorrow,” she replied. She came around the counter and put her hands on my face. “Happy birthday, Sexy.” She pressed her lips to mine. She tasted like orange juice and syrup. I chased the sweetness of her tongue, pulling her toward me until I felt her go soft in my arms.

Livvie once told me I stole her breath when we kissed. She said it was as though I filtered the very air she breathed into her lungs. I thought it was more of her flowery words. However, once the thought was planted in my mind, I began to pay particular attention. Yes, I felt something too. I loved the moment Livvie gave herself to me. She became nothing but her instincts. She swayed. She whimpered. She rubbed against me.

I let my hands travel down her back and over her rounded ass. I pulled up her skirt. I was seconds away from putting my thumbs in her panties and pulling them down when my efforts were thwarted.

“No, Sexy, not right now.” She put her hands behind her in an attempt stop my mauling.

“Yes,” I said. “Right now.” I grabbed her hands and held them in my left. With my free hand I began slipping her panties down. I placed sucking kisses across her shoulder.

“James,” she groaned. “The windows.”

I sighed.

“Dammit! I’m putting in drapes. Today!” I said, exasperated. What did I have to do to get laid on my birthday?

Livvie pulled away and righted her clothing.

“Don’t be upset.” She kissed me quickly before she scurried back into the kitchen to get her own breakfast. “You’ll have plenty of time to play ‘Kitten’s been a naughty girl’ later. I promise.”

“We better,” I grumbled. I picked up a piece of bacon and put it in my mouth. Rafiq wasn’t what one would call a devout Muslim, but I was pretty sure he would roll over in his grave at the sight of me devouring bacon. I, for one, really enjoyed it in moderation. “So what do you have planned for me today? Please tell me it doesn’t involve leaving the house.”

Livvie glared at me ruefully.

“Don’t be such a geezer, Sexy. Let’s get out of here and have some fun.”

“I hate fun.”

Livvie laughed.

“You would. Good thing you’ll never have to put out a personal ad.” She assumed her ridiculous parody of my voice. “Hey, I’m James. I’m twenty-eight years old. I enjoy kicks to the face, having sex on kitchen counters, stalking my girlfriend, and telling kids to get off my lawn. I also hate fun. If you do too, hit me up.” She was nearly doubled over while laughing at her own joke.

“I do not stalk you… anymore. Also, I’ve never yelled at anyone to get off our lawn.”

“What about Claudia?”

“The front yard is not a place to tan.” I couldn’t help but laugh at the memory of turning the sprinklers on Claudia. She’d been mad as a hornet. I’d let her process her anger on the porch before Livvie let her back inside.

Livvie and I joked a lot over breakfast. Livvie is the only person I know who can make me furious one second and laugh the next. She likes to say I’m contrary, but I feel the same dichotomy is present in her. I suppose it keeps things interesting.

Livvie could not have planned a more perfect day. To begin, she assured me we would be spending the day alone. As much as I had come to like Claudia and Rubio, the only person I wanted to spend my first birthday with was Livvie. I never had to pretend with her. I could be myself—whoever that happened to be from one moment to the next.

Livvie was full of charm and whimsy. Since I’d missed out on so many birthdays, she was determined to show me what I’d missed. The first place she took me to was a go-kart racing track. Though small, the karts could reach speeds of up to forty-five miles an hour. Livvie won four out of seven races—she weighs less than me, so her car was inevitably faster. All things being equal, I’m sure I could have won every time. Of course, Livvie didn’t quite see it that way. She is a very sore winner.

After go-karts, we ate pizza and played video games in the arcade upstairs. Livvie was no match for me when it came to shooting games, and I think we spent close to thirty Euros pumping change into a game called Area 51. If the earth is ever attacked by aliens, you’re welcome to stand behind me.

By early evening, we were just finishing up eighteen holes of glow-in-the-dark mini golf. I was having one of the best days of my life and was spending it with the best person in my life. I couldn’t wait to get Livvie home and express my gratitude to her for being everything I needed and far more than I deserved.

“You can’t do that, Pet. You’re cheating.” I glared at Livvie as she picked up her ball and reset it on the mat.

“You distracted me. I should get to try again. It’s the last hole.” She stuck her tongue out.

“I distracted you while I was standing here being quiet?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll let you try again if you tell me you love me.” I smiled my most wicked smile. The one I liked to give her just before I stripped her down and had my filthy way.

“You first,” she said with a grin. She hit the ball and it rolled part way up the green before it failed to make it over the ice cream hill and rolled back toward her.

I laughed.

“That’s what you get.” Livvie kept hitting her ball until she made it into the hole. She was a sore winner and a very quiet loser.

“Are you hungry?” she asked as we were leaving.

“Not really. We’ve had a lot of junk.” I hit the unlock button to the BMW.

“Well, just say you’re hungry so I can suggest a place for dinner.” She grinned.

“I’m starving!” I said.

“Me too! Luckily, I know of this new Italian place that opened up. We should go there.”

I opened the door for Livvie and she gave me a kiss on the cheek before she got inside. I slid behind the wheel, and as I put the vehicle in gear to leave the parking lot, Livvie’s hand was already on my thigh. She explained where to go while her fingers gently stroked me.

“Thank you, Kitten,” I whispered.

“You’re welcome, Sexy. Are you enjoying your birthday?”

“Immensely. I think tomorrow I’m going to try and find that arcade game.” Retirement had opened me up to new hobbies. I discovered I really like video games.

“Men,” Livvie scoffed. “You better not start ignoring me.” She was pouting, but her heart wasn’t in it.

“You’re the one who encouraged me to get a PlayStation. I’m not the only bad influence in this vehicle.” I casually put my hand on top of hers and held it the twenty minutes it took to get to the restaurant. When we arrived, I realized Livvie had lied to me about spending the entire day alone. Claudia and Rubio were already waiting to be seated. They held bags in their hands.