Author: Christine Bell

“Dearly beloved…”

The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and all he could think of was the crumpled piece of paper in his pocket. He hoped he’d managed to get it right.

“Lacey would like to say something to you, Galen.”

He squeezed her hand and let it go so she could get her piece of paper, but she didn’t have one. Instead, she met his eyes through the thin, transparent veil.

“Galen, before I met you, I was afraid. All the time, of everything. I didn’t want to run because I was afraid to fall. I didn’t want to reach for my dreams because I was afraid to fail. I didn’t want to fall in love because I was afraid to get hurt. And then there was you. And you pushed me to do all things I was scared to do. And when I fell, you were there to pick me up. And when I went for my dreams, you supported me and cheered me on.” She gripped his hand tightly and her voice went thick. “You are my rock and my roll. My safety net and my high wire. I love you now and will love you forever, with all of my heart.”

Her words rocked him back on his heels, and he had to swallow the lump in his throat before he could even look at her again. He hadn’t realized how badly he’d needed to hear those words after the past few months. It was like being woken up from a bad dream.

“Galen?” The minister said, urging him to begin with a gentle smile.

He cleared his throat and pulled out the vows he’d written, not surprised at all to see his hands were shaking. “When I was a little boy, all I ever wanted was this set of walkie talkies that Micky Adler had. They were black and silver, with all these cool buttons, and they were huge, like two bricks. You’d hold them to your ear and sometimes they were even clear enough that you could hear what the other person was saying. I dreamt about them. I thought about them every waking second. And, after six months of hard wishing, my mom and dad bought them for me for Christmas. It was the happiest day of my life. Until now.”

There were some chuckles, but Lacey’s eyes filled with unshed tears that made his heart kick. “Lacey, you are everything I’ve ever dreamed of and everything I was too stupid to even dream of.” Her cold hand gripped his tighter, and he gave it a re-assuring squeeze. “I still can’t believe I got you. It’s better than Christmas. Better than New Year’s, or my birthday. It’s a wish come true. I can’t wait to see our lives unfold together. To watch our children, the ones we make or the ones we’re honored enough to choose, grow and learn. To—”

Lacey’s lips quivered, her smile crumpled, and his world shook. “I- I can’t do this,” she whispered, a wild light in her eyes. And then…she ran.

He stared after her for a long moment, dumbfounded. What the fuck had just happened?

“Not again,” Lacey’s Aunt Charise muttered.

Cat silenced her with a death stare before stepping up to the altar. Lucky thing, because Galen was frozen to the spot and his brain was melting down. What did she mean, she couldn’t?

“Ladies and gentleman,” his sister said smoothly, taking his arm and leading him off the dock. “Please help yourself to more hors d’oeuvres in the tents behind you while Galen and his bride have a little chat. I’m sure you all agree, this heat can make you say some crazy things, am I right?”

The guests mumbled to each other and seemed at a loss but eventually stood and picked their way over to the tents.

“Go get her,” Cat hissed.

He nodded, on autopilot, and started toward the house. He’d hoped his reassurance that they would have a family, come hell or high water, would have made her feel better, but clearly that wasn’t the case. What if she’d left for real? What if she really didn’t want to marry him anymore? His stomach turned, and he shoved the idea away, focusing instead on the ground in front of him. The smooth, worn wooden path leading to the light blue saltbox he’d spent most of his summers in.

Summers with Lacey.

Jesus, what would he do without her?

He pushed open the door to his parent’s cottage and made his way up the steps, praying with every one that she was there. That she was waiting to talk to him and hadn’t taken off for good. The bathroom door was closed, and the sight made his whole body shake with relief. They always left it open, so someone was in there.

He approached the door, fist extended to knock, when he heard it. His beautiful wife-to-be, crying. Not a good, “I’m emotional because I’m getting married” kind of cry. This was heartbreak, and his stomach clenched just hearing it. His first instinct was to kick the fucking door open and put whoever was responsible flat on their back, but he stopped himself at the last second. Clearly it was him. That’s why she’d run away. But surely the fact that she stayed meant something?

He swallowed the bile that burned his throat and replayed the last few days in his head. What had he done to hurt her so badly? She’d been pretty distant, but damn it, he’d tried. Maybe he hadn’t tried hard enough.

Maybe giving her space had made her think he didn’t care? God, they were partners, and he’d failed her before they even made it official. Maybe she was afraid that was a bad omen for the rest of their lives together.

He raised his fist and knocked on the door.

A hiccup, the honking of a blown nose, and then a soft voice. “Who is it?”

Heart in his throat, he responded. “It’s me.”

The long pause was like a rabbit punch to the kidney. Jesus, she didn’t even want to talk to him now?

“You’re not supposed to see me without my veil until we’re married, and I lost it on the path somewhere.”

He sucked in a steadying breath as fresh hope came rushing in from all sides. If she actually planned on not going through with the wedding, it wouldn’t matter whether he saw her with her veil or not. He’d take that as a positive sign.

“So take off your dress, too. Then I won’t see the whole thing together.”

She let out a short, watery laugh and footsteps sounded. “It’s not as easy as you might think.”

She was close now, and he imagined her face pressed to the door. He laid a hand on it, wishing he could touch her. Hold her. Make her feel better. “I’ll close my eyes and help. If I recall, this wouldn’t be my first time helping you out of a wedding dress, babe.”

Had it been a year and a half ago the day she’d found Marty banging her friend in the linen closet of their reception hall and he threw her onto the back of his bike to escape? She’d been so hurt and lost.

“And if I recall, that dress ended up in pieces,” she reminded him, her voice going soft.

“Come on. You can’t blame me for that. There were two thousand buttons the size of peas and I have these giant mitts that are perfect for busting jaws but not so much for unbuttoning wedding dresses.” If he could keep her talking and make his way into the room, they could work this out. There was nothing they couldn’t beat together.

“Exactly why you’re not helping me with this one.”

He could hear her breathing just on the other side of the door, so he knew she didn’t want him to leave yet, but she was firm about the wedding dress and veil deal.

“How about I promise to keep my eyes closed?”

She stayed quiet for a while and then blew out a breath. “Okay, but if you look, you’re cursing our marriage to certain doom. Do you understand me?”

Well shit, no pressure there. “Yep, got it.”

He closed his eyes and heard the door open.

“Come on.” She took his hand, and he flinched. Hers was ice cold. So maybe this was just a case of nerves? Sweet Jesus he hoped so. That would be the easiest thing to deal with. A few shots of Jack Daniels and some encouragement, and they’d be on their way. No matter what, he couldn’t imagine leaving this place without her.

She led him down the stairs, and he resisted the natural instinct to open his eyes to watch her ass sway. It was tough to fight years of conditioning, but he kept reminding himself how important it was to her that he not see her.

“Sit down,” she instructed.

He felt around behind him with his foot and lowered himself onto the small couch. A second later, she was climbing into his lap and burying her face in his neck. Yes. He breathed in the fresh scent of her and squeezed her even closer. They were crazy about each other. What could possibly trump that? There was nothing so bad that they couldn’t get through it.

“Talk to me, babe.”

She shifted and lifted her head, her dress crinkling as she moved. “What if I can’t do it, Galen?”

“Marry me?”

“No, dummy. I mean have a baby. What if,” she paused, and swallowed loud enough that he could hear it in the silence of the room. “What if my body can never do it? It’s been months and months of trying, fertility treatments. Already, it’s taking a toll on our relationship. Our sex life took a major hit; I’ve been depressed and feel like a failure every month. My cycle is just getting more and more sporadic.”

She tucked in closer, and her voice dropped to a miserable whisper. “What if I’m broken, and no matter what we do, I can’t get fixed?”

“We have the adoption agency working for us. We already have one possible—”

“They called.” The words sounded like they were torn out of her, and he froze.

“Who called?”

“The agency. Sarah picked another family.”

The words punctured his gut, and he sucked in a breath. “Okay.” He had a million questions. When? Why? And why hadn’t she told him so they could face it together? But now, none of that mattered. He pushed back his sadness and focused on not fucking this up even worse.

If things worked out the way he hoped…

But he couldn’t count on that. Not yet. So he’d have to just speak from the heart and hope it was enough. “I know that breaks your heart, and mine, too, but it’s going to be okay. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman. Everything. I know how badly you want a house full of kids, and I want more than anything to give you that. I’m going to give you that, one way or another. But if we never had kids? I swear to God, Lacey, all I need to be happy is you. That’s it.”

He could feel the hot tears soaking his shirt, and he cursed himself for making the promise not to look at her.

“You say that now. But what about later? What if it’s harder than you think? What if nobody ever picks us? Are you going to resent me? Or regret marrying me? In your vows, you said—”

Her voice still shook, and she paused on a sob. He wanted to tear the walls down. How had he gone so wrong?

“I didn’t get to finish my vows before you ran away. Yes, I talked about wanting a house full of love and children. I still want that. I know you do, too, and I’d move heaven and earth to make you happy. But if it takes a decade, I will still spend every day of that thanking god that I have you. Nothing will ever change that. I have faith in us. Now you need to have faith in us, too.”

She kissed the corner of his mouth, then dead center. The salt of her tears still made him want to break stuff, but he felt calmer. More focused. It was going to be okay. As long as she still loved him, they would be okay.

She pulled away and sniffled. “Okay. Okay, I believe you. And I’m sorry to be such a drama queen. It’s just, the call and then stress and the nerves. But I love you, and I feel the same way you do. We’ll get through this, whatever happens.” She kissed him once more and patted his shoulder. “I love you so much, and I’m sorry I ruined our day.”

“It’s okay.” She slid off his lap, and he pushed himself to his feet, careful to keep his eyes squeezed shut. “I think it’s kind of our thing now, ruining weddings. Let’s just own it.”

She turned him to face the other way and gave him a little shove. “Okay. My mother is going to have a field day, though. Now go figure out how to dry off your shirt. And wipe your mouth, too. Apparently that shade of lip gloss is pretty ugly. I’ll meet you at the altar.”