I wanted to scream again, but Seraphia gripped my shoulders, shaking me hard as she commanded, “Breathe. In and out.”

I did as she ordered, my shaking beginning to subside.

“Keep going,” she said. “Get some oxygen into your brain so you can think.”

I nodded blindly, scrubbing away my tears as I sucked air into my lungs. As she’d promised, my mind began to clear. Thoughts returned in a more rational way, driving out the desperate fear and loss.

This wasn’t over.

I wouldn’t let it be over.

I’d brought back Beatrix. I would bring him back as well.

This was what fate had been maneuvering for all along. It was clear now.

I surged to my feet. “Where’s Eve?”

“Asleep, I suppose.” Seraphia rose, a frown on her face. “Why?”

“Grey. I need to find Grey.” I lifted the skirt of my heavy dress, barely feeling its weight, and sprinted toward the door.

Seraphia followed, but I didn’t wait for her to catch up. I raced out into the street and turned right, heading toward Eve’s. The night was quiet as I ran, the moon high overhead. Grey had to be there. He had to be with her.

Her building was dark as I approached, every window black.

“Eve!” I screamed, pounding on the door. “Eve!”

“I’m calling her,” Seraphia’s voice sounded from my side. “She’s on the top floor. Might not hear you.’

I looked down at her and saw her bare feet and legs. She wore sleep shorts and a ratty old T-shirt. No shoes. She’d run all the way through the city barefoot behind me.

My throat tightened again.

The phone in her hands rang, and I kept banging on the door. I was two seconds away from breaking it down.

Eve answered Seraphia’s call on the third ring, her voice annoyed. “What’s going on? It’s late as hell.”

I grabbed the phone. “I’m at your flat. Let us in.”

“I’m at the shop.”

Shit.

It wasn’t far. I shoved the phone back at Seraphia and sprinted down the street, headed the short distance to her shop. The lights glowed golden from inside, beckoning me with hope.

He would be there. Just like Beatrix, he would be there.

I shoved my way into the shop, finding Eve in her back room, potion ingredients spilled all over the tables. She looked up at me, eyes tired and questioning. “What’s going on?”

“Where is he?” I demanded. “Grey?”

“What?” Eve frowned.

“He’s gone. Dead.” The words tumbled over themselves. “Like Beatrix was. But my magic could keep him from death. He’d need a power source like Beatrix did, though. He’d need you.”

Confusion flashed across her face, and I realized that my partial sentences probably sounded crazy. She hadn’t heard the whole story from Evangeline like I just had. She didn’t understand.

I drew in a deep breath to calm myself. It didn’t really work, but at least I wasn't screaming anymore. I searched the room around her, trying to get a feel for Grey. Was he here?

Would he turn into a bird?

I had no idea.

That had been part of Beatrix’s magic. Maybe a bat? He was a vampire, after all. Or were vampire bats just something out of old cartoons? It seemed too ridiculous. No way he was a bat.

“What’s going on, Carrow?” Eve’s voice was calm and clear, and I clung to it, trying to join her in the realm of the rational.

“In the last thirty minutes, have you felt another life force appear around you?” I asked. “An animal or something?”

She shook her head. “There’s been nothing.”

“Did you feel Beatrix when she arrived?”

“Um…” She frowned. “Not particularly, to be honest.”

I nodded. Okay. Okay. That meant he could still be there then. But where?

I spun in a circle, searching. Eve looked questioningly at Seraphia, who shrugged. I ignored them, trying to gather my thoughts. I had the power to bring him back. Not only had Evangeline told me so, but I could feel it. I just needed to figure out how.

There was more to this than I realized. I staggered to the shelf and sank to the ground, the floor hard against my butt. Blindly, I stared into space, trying to piece it all together.

This was a puzzle, and there was a missing piece.

I just needed to find it.

A half second later, Cordelia charged into the room, Mac at her heels. Beatrix trailed in last.

“What’s going on?” Mac demanded. “Cordelia freaked out, but I can’t understand her. What’s wrong?”

Cordelia sprinted to a stop next to me, tugging at my dress sleeve with her little paws. What’s wrong? I felt it. It’s terrible. What’s wrong?

“Grey,” I whispered.

“Oh, shit.” Mac leaned back against the bookshelves, clearly understanding right away.

“What?” Beatrix demanded.

“Tell us what you’re thinking,” Eve said. “Work it out with us.”

Cordelia climbed on my lap, heavy and warm. I blinked, looking at all of my friends. The words spilled from my mouth, the whole story. Eve was right. If there was a clue in there somewhere, they could help find it.

I told them all about the past, and Rasla and Evangeline, and my history with the Shadow Guild. They listened quietly, asking the occasional question.

When I finally finished, Mac frowned. “It’s obvious, isn’t it?”

“Is it?” I sank my fingers into Cordelia’s rough fur.

“Evangeline was clear that you haven’t embraced your role in the Shadow Guild yet. Or your magic. You haven’t believed in yourself. It’s exactly what I told you earlier.”

I nodded, sucking in a breath. She was right. That was the one big thing Evangeline had told me to do, and I hadn’t done it yet. Maybe that was the problem.

“I’ve got to get up,” I said to Cordelia. She scrambled off, and I stood. “Let’s go to the Shadow Guild.”

It called to me now, in the way that Grey had called to me. Maybe he was there. Or maybe he really was with Eve and I wasn't strong enough to sense him yet.

I was going to be.

If that meant visiting the Shadow Guild and finding a way to embrace my magic, then I was going to do it.

The five of us hurried down the street through the dark night. I could feel Beatrix’s confusion—everyone’s confusion, for that matter—but fortunately, none of them asked any questions. I didn’t think I could answer, anyway, especially since I barely knew the answers myself.

We reached the courtyard in front of our tower a few moments later. Quinn stood there, confused. He was dressed in loose sleep pants and a T-shirt, his trainers partially unlaced. His auburn hair was messy around his head, and he looked confused.

“Why are we here?” he asked. “I woke up and felt like I had to come.”

The Shadow Guild must have called to him. Because this was all of us now—our entire ragtag little guild.

Through my grief and terror, the slightest bit of warmth filled my chest.

“Long story,” Mac said. “But we’re here for Carrow.”

He nodded and then turned, opening the door. We filed into the room, and I walked toward the big chair near the cold, quiet hearth.

Somehow, the sight of it made my skin chill even more. Either fear or doubt, I didn’t know. It was the same thing I’d felt before. But this time, I ignored it.

If that was the leader’s chair, then hell, I was going to sit in it.

I sucked in a deep breath and didn’t so much as pause, just spun around and plopped my butt into it.

Nothing happened. I gripped the arms and looked at my friends.

I wanted to ask them if I should really be there.

Me?

Me, with the wonky magic and history of being raised in the human world?

And yet, my history was more than that. It was generations of Soulceresses, leaders of the Shadow Guild.

I closed my eyes, drew in a deep breath, and called on my magic. I let it fill me, glowing warm within. Trembling, I gripped the arms of the chair. The wood was smooth beneath my fingertips.

I wanted to know more. Wanted to understand this role and my place in it. How I could embrace it more fully.

I used my power, trying to draw information from the wood beneath my fingertips. Generations of my ancestors had sat here. It might have taken me a long time to find my way home, but I had.

Finally, I was here.

The air warmed around me, vibrating with energy. I pulled out the book that Evangeline had given me, gripping it tight. I didn’t need to be able to read the strange symbols inside to feel their power and their history. It sang through me.

My magic turned inward, filling my soul and seeming to pull my consciousness away from the present. One moment, there was nothing behind my eyelids. The next, I stood at the entrance to a tunnel.

It stretched out in front of me, dark and cold. Beckoning. Fear sliced through me.

Could I do it?

Walk through that tunnel and find what was on the other side?

I had to.

Somehow, I knew that I had to. Answers were on the other side. Or maybe strength. Growth. Something.

I took one slow step forward, then another. Everything inside me screamed with anxiety, but I kept going, walking into the darkness. The future was unknown and so was my role in it, but if I just kept moving forward and trying, then I would get somewhere.

The air grew colder as I walked deeper into the tunnel but, somehow, I felt less alone. The future beckoned to me, and I knew the tunnel would end.

Almost abruptly, it did. I exited into a glowing white room, feeling my body return to the leader’s chair in the Shadow Guild tower.

All around me, figures appeared. Men and women, most of them dressed in ancient garb. I spotted Evangeline, standing next to a woman who looked just like her. Her daughter, maybe. The baby I’d seen, all grown up.

A feeling of warmth and love surrounded me. This was my family. The long line of them—gone, but not entirely.