“We looked great out there.”

“Maybe.”

I can feel him starting to say more, but before he can, Jaxon is right in front of me, wrapping his arms around me in a celebratory hug. “That was awesome!”

I gaze up at his face beaming down at me. “It was, right? I can’t believe I did that. Can you?”

“Of course I can. I’m beginning to figure out that you can do anything, Grace.”

“Umm, no. But tell me the truth. How much of that was me and how much was you?”

Jaxon grins. “That was one hundred percent you.”

“At the end?” I ask, eyes wide as I think about the loop-the-loop I turned.

“No, the whole time. It was all you. That was my last idea. To let you go and see what happened if I wasn’t holding you back.”

64

Pardon My

Existential Crisis

There’s something in the way Jaxon talks about holding me back—or, in this case, not holding me back—that makes me nervous. I don’t know what it is, considering he’s never been anything but supportive, but it niggles at me for the rest of the afternoon as Flint and the others teach me Ludares’s rules and tactics.

Or, should I say, attempt to teach me, as every single person on the field has their own idea of the right way to play the game—which, I figure, should make for a really interesting team strategy.

“It’s all about the portals,” Xavier tells me at one point. “Sure, they’re going to screw you over sometimes, but you’ve got to use them. You hit the right one and you win the game, just like that.” He snaps his fingers to illustrate. “Plus, the crowd loves it!”

“The crowd also loves when you end up surrounded by the enemy and all alone as the ball burns the shit out of you,” Eden contradicts with a hard eye roll. “It’s about getting the ball down the field, Grace. You do that and they’ll love you, no matter what. And portals may be flashy, but a straight shot makes one hell of an impression, too.”

“For now,” my cousin tells me when we’re walking to our positions later in the afternoon, “the most important thing is that we work together and build a team. If we do that, the rest will come.”

“No mercy!” Flint tells Jaxon, Gwen, and me as we get into our last huddle of the day. Gwen joined up after her test, and I have to admit, I’m grateful to have a witch on our side now. Thoughts of Macy turning all of us to turtles have been dancing in my head for hours. “When it comes to Ludares, mercy is for weaklings. We’re going to go into these last plays and crush them into dust.”

“What if I don’t want to crush them into dust?” I ask, winking at Jaxon, who is rolling his eyes behind Flint’s back.

“Do it anyway,” Flint orders. “Just stomp those pretty gargoyle feet of yours all over them.”

Yeah. I don’t bother to tell him that’s not going to happen, but I’m pretty sure he can tell from my face. And from the fact that, by the end of that round, Eden stomps her Nikes all over him.

We play all day—turns out Flint charmed a few witches in the kitchen into making us a picnic lunch—and by the time it gets dark, I’m exhausted and limping more than a little. But I’m also feeling pretty good about my ability to fly a ball down the field, so I’m definitely calling it a win.

Jaxon walks Macy and me back to our room around nine, and I start to invite him in to watch a movie or something. But he’s looking a little worse for wear, the energy burst I gave him this morning having obviously worn off.

Because I know him and his ridiculous pride, I don’t offer to give him another boost. Instead, I wait for Macy to slip into our room before I hug him close, kiss his neck, and send a spurt of energy down the mating bond before he even knows what I’m doing.

He pulls away immediately. “You’ve got to stop doing that.”

“I’m not going to stop doing that. Not when you so obviously need it.”

“I’ll be fine,” he tells me, resting his forehead against mine. “This isn’t the first time in my life I’ve been tired and had a lot on my mind.”

I know he’s thinking of the time he and Hudson fought, and my chest feels tight. “This time, things will end differently. I promise.”

Jaxon gives a not-altogether-pleasant laugh and says, “Yeah, well, let’s hope, for his sake.”

“Besides, I need you in tip-top shape,” I tell him, sliding my hands into the back pockets of his jeans as I snuggle close.

“Yeah?” He grins. “Me too.” And then he leans down to kiss me, but just before our lips connect, Hudson groans dramatically.

“I keep trying to change the channel, but it won’t work.”

Even though I know it’s a ploy, I can’t help biting anyway. That’s the magic—and the horror—of Hudson. Change what channel? I demand.

“This one.” He mimes pressing the button on a remote. “So much kissing, when what I could really use is a good old-fashioned car chase. Or an assassination attempt. Or, you know, ‘a plague on both your houses!’ Something, anything, but this”—he waves his hand at Jaxon and me still snuggled up together—“all day, every day.”

Seriously? This is where you want to go after that No Exit BS you pulled on the field?

“I don’t see what the problem is,” he says loftily. “It’s a great piece of literature.”

Yeah, ’cause that’s why you were reading it. I pull away from Jaxon with a regretful smile. “Apparently Hudson has decided to rejoin the party.”

For just a second, Jaxon looks angry. Like, really angry, but then it melts away and he gives me a rueful smile. “I’m really looking forward to the day he disappears for good.”

“Yeah, me too,” I answer. And I mean it, I do. I really am looking forward to having my mind and my body back for my exclusive use. But still, there’s something in Jaxon’s statement, and his voice, that doesn’t feel quite right. I just can’t put my finger on what it is.

Maybe that’s why, when he leans in to drop a quick kiss on my lips, I dodge and give him a big hug instead. Or maybe it’s just my overactive imagination, because when he hugs me back, arms so tight around me that for a minute—just a minute—I feel safe and whole and right, something I haven’t felt in far too long.

I glance at Hudson and notice fury in his gaze before he has a chance to hide it. He’s angrier than I’ve ever seen him. Angry and something more—hurt. His gaze narrows on Jaxon just as Jaxon seems to almost stumble, reaching out to put one hand on the wall beside him.

“Whoa.” Jaxon gives me a half smile. “I think I’m more tired than I thought.”

Something isn’t right. I can feel it. But before I can ask him, he straightens and gives me a confident smile.

“See you in the morning?” he asks me when he finally pulls away.

“Yeah. I’ll meet you guys in the cafeteria for breakfast before class.”

“Sounds good.” He starts to turn away but stops at the last second and says, “Give this to Hudson for me, will you?” And then he flips up his middle finger.

“Very mature,” Hudson drawls, still leaning against the door.

“You just did,” I tell Jaxon.

“Oh yeah?” The news gives him a little bounce in his step. “Then here’s a couple more.” This time he uses both hands to flip his brother off before finally turning and walking away.

I watch him go, and Hudson pretends to play some very sad music on an air violin in the background. “And the villain fades away into obscurity, never to be seen or heard from again…”

“He’s not the villain of this story.” I frown. “You are. And Jaxon’s not going anywhere.”

“Yeah.” Hudson heaves an exaggerated sigh and steps away from the door. “That’s what you keep telling me.”

“Aren’t you tired?” I ask him as I let myself into my room. “Go take a nap or something.”

“Not tired at all. I napped all day just so we could spend the evening together.” He gives me a shit-eating grin. “I feel great.”

And just like that, all the puzzle pieces fit together and I figure out the horrible truth of what just happened to my boyfriend. “You’re draining Jaxon’s energy, aren’t you? How are you doing it?” I demand, but then it comes to me. “Oh my God. You’re using my mating bond to drain my mate? Are you serious?”

He holds both hands up. “It’s not like that.”

My stomach rolls. How could I not have guessed it before now? I can’t believe I missed it. I was actually starting to trust Hudson. I feel light-headed and queasy.

“I don’t have a choice. This whole me being alive but not actually alive yet means I have to take energy from somewhere, and for whatever reason the universe hooked me up to your mating bond. Probably so that I could take energy from both of you instead of just you, so I wouldn’t overwhelm your system.”

“Wait a minute.” His explanation is yet another shock to my system. “So you’re feeding off me, too?”

I’ll give him credit. He doesn’t lie. Instead, he looks me straight in the eye and says, “Yes.”

“This whole time?” I ask, incredulous. “You’ve been feeding off Jaxon and me since we got here?”

“Pretty much, yeah. But I’m taking way more from him than I am from you.”

“You say that like it’s a good thing…and not an absolutely terrifying one.” I shake my head to try to clear it. “Why would you do that? Why would you risk hurting him like that?”

“Because he has more to spare. And I’m not hurting him.” He sighs. “I’m just borrowing some of his life force so I can stay alive.”

“Which means what? That you’re pulling his life force out of him…like Darth Vader?” I demand. “Oh my God. You’re deliberately hurting him and it’s all my fault.”