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Cross began snickering.
I scowled at him. “He’s being all open with us. Stop.”
Cross shook his head at me. “You’ve got no clue what he’s talking about. He could be talking about unicorns for all you know.”
Wait. Was he?
I turned to Jordan, my head tilting to the side.
Jordan rolled his eyes, waving his beer in the air. “Yeah, yeah. Laugh at my expense. I get it. I’m only sometimes an asshole? But yeah, I am. Sometimes I’m an asshole. Sometimes I’m a really fucking great guy. I mean, I love you guys.” He threw his arms in the air. His beer went flying.
He didn’t notice.
“I’ll own my shit. I can be a hothead, and egotistical. I like to be the boss, but your words hurt, B. And I’m not throwing a pity party here. I know why they hurt. Because they’re the truth, that’s why. You’re right. I’m not super smart.” His voice cracked. “You and Cross are the smart ones. You two are the thinkers for us. Zellman is the glue. He holds us all together. So what am I? What do I do? Except have a big mouth. But maybe that’s it. I’m the mouth guy. I’m the mouthpiece. I make up with my size too. Right? I push my way in. That’s what I do. I can brawl with the best of them, and you two.” He stopped again. Another breath. “You guys are some of the best fighters I’ve met. I’m honored to have you at my back.” He coughed, clearing his throat. His hands balled into fists. He was looking at the ground now. “I just… I want to prove that I really didn’t have any bad intentions. I mean, I love my dad. I hate that he travels so much for his job—and I’m sounding like a pussy right now. I don’t care. But you guys were there for me with Mallory. She’s my little sis, you know?” His voice sounded gruff. “That means something to me. That means a lot to me.”
His fists pressed into the sides of his legs, and he lifted his head. Tears shimmered in his eyes. “I didn’t even think you wouldn’t want to see your dad. You never talk about him, Bren. Ever. You don’t talk about anything. I mean, anything. I’m scared to ask you about anything, and I’m in your crew. People look at me like I should know, but I don’t.” He motioned to Cross. “He gets to know. Not us. I don’t know. I love you, B. You’re my sister, but in a crew way, you know? And yeah, I don’t know. I’ve always wondered why you don’t see your dad, or talk about him, but I got it now. I said it before, but I mean it. I’m sorry. I really am.”
He looked right at me.
He meant it. I felt it. He was being genuine.
I found myself leaning forward, waiting for the rest of what he’d say.
“I just, I love you guys.” He clamped down on Zellman’s shoulder again.
That was profound.
Pretty fucking smart.
I grinned at Zellman. He was dreaming about the unicorn, I bet.
Cross looked guarded.
I was normally jaded and mistrusting, but what Cross said earlier today was right. It was different when it came to the crew. My love for the crew was pure. It might’ve been one of the only pure loves I felt, but it was there.
I let go of anything lingering toward Jordan. He was crew. He was family.
I’d let Cross shift through the rest.
“I love you too, Jordan.”
His eyes gleamed, and his tears fell. “Really?”
I nodded. “Really. And if I didn’t say it before, I’m sorry what happened to your sister.”
“You don’t have any idea how much that means to me. No idea.” He wiped a hand over his nose, sniffing. “Thank you. I mean it. Thank you.”
Zellman shot a hand up. “High-five, brother.”
He reached just a little above Jordan’s knee, and he slapped it.
Jordan looked at me again. I saw the gratefulness there, and I was glad I’d pushed my doubt away. But I purposely didn’t look at Cross. I didn’t want to see his reservations. In fact, I tried not to look until after the fire was dead. The sun was beginning to peek over the horizon, making the sky a dark purple.
Jordan squinted, groaning. “Shit. I’m not stupid drunk—I’m way past that. I am totally dumb drunk, and we gotta be out of here in four hours.”
Zellman sat up, rubbing his eyes. He’d fallen asleep earlier and snored half the night. He looked a little more refreshed than the rest of us. That wasn’t saying much. Scratching his cheek, he pulled up the hood from his sweatshirt so it fell over his forehead. He yawned once more before closing his eyes.
He was going to fall asleep sitting like that if we didn’t move.
Too late.
He started snoring again, his head back in his hood and his legs crossed over each other. He’d stay like that till someone pushed him over.
“I can’t go to sleep,” Jordan said. “If I do, I won’t get up in four hours to drive back.”
Cross stood up. “I’ll drive. We can go now before we all fall asleep.”
Jordan peered at him, his eyelids heavy. “You sure?”
“I’m sure. It’s annoying how sober I am. Come on.” Cross motioned again. “I’m good to drive. I just need coffee, lots of it.”
We picked up the mess we’d made, which was a slow and painful process. Jordan wasn’t the only one drunk. I was still seeing double, but Cross zipped around, all stealthy and sober-like. If I watched him too much, I was going to fall over from dizziness.
Once we got in the truck and got moving, Jordan and Zellman started snoring right away in the back. I curled up in the front passenger seat, waking when we stopped at a gas station. Cross was the only one to get out, and his return was marked more by the whiff of his coffee than his door opening and closing.
We all slept through the rest of the ride, except for him.
When we parked, Jordan and Zellman climbed out after me, heading inside.
“What are you doing?” I turned to them.
Jordan waved to the house. “We’re sleeping here. Fuck waiting.”
So that’s what happened.
Cross turned off the truck, pocketed the keys, and we all went inside.
It was a little after eight by then. Both Channing and Heather met us in the hallway. Channing was shirtless, scratching his chest. His tattoos seemed more prominent this morning, for some reason. Heather had a sheet wrapped around her.
He looked us over. “What are you guys doing?”
Heather saw the others and turned around, disappearing back into the room.
Jordan and Zellman veered around my brother, heading for the basement. “We gotta sleep,” Jordan called over his shoulder. “We’ll crash down here.”
“Sure…” Channing said as his bedroom door opened again.
Heather came back out wearing Channing’s shirt, which hung over her, and shorts.
“They’re going to crash here,” Channing told her.
“Okay. Yeah.” She patted his arm. “I’m going back to bed.”
He ran a hand down the back of her head, smoothing her hair. She stepped close for a hug. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and she vanished into their room. The fan turned on a second later.
Cross and I remained with Channing in the hallway.
“Aren’t you going to crash downstairs too?” my brother asked Cross.
Cross raised his chin. “No.”
That was it. Just no.
Channing raked a hand over his face. “Fuck. This is going to happen?”
We didn’t say anything. After another few beats, it was apparent he wasn’t going to either. He wasn’t giving his blessing, but he also wasn’t stopping us.
Cross nudged me with his hand on my hip. “Let’s go.”
There was an awkward air in the hallway, but once we were in my room, I breathed easier. I went right to the bathroom as I heard Cross turn the lock. I wasn’t thinking about the guys and what they’d say. I slept in Cross’ closet all the time—well, I doubted that would happen anymore, but it was the norm. They’d just assume Cross had slept in my closet or on the floor. They wouldn’t question it.
I got ready for bed.
When I opened the door, Cross was leaning back on the bed, shirtless, wearing only his boxer briefs. Lust slammed into me. It ricocheted all over, making me speechless for a moment.