He looked at me, his eyes uncomfortably solemn. “Yeah.”

I frowned, grimacing. A small knife went in me at his words. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“I am.”

God. He sounded so calm, so steady, so real. He sounded like the foundation I needed to handle all this shit in my life. I wanted to rail. I wanted to do something to Channing—make him mad, push him away—but I couldn’t. He wasn’t pushing me. I wanted to sever what he’d just done by making the first advances toward something good.

I couldn’t handle that, and I glared at Cross. “Say he’s a dick. Say something.”

“I don’t need to say anything.” Again, so strong. He followed that up with, “I’m here for whatever you decide, but you don’t really want me to say those words, and you know it. Not deep down.”

I hurt.

It wasn’t the injuries this time, and that’s why it hurt even worse.

I adjusted my grip on the counter. I felt the world swirling under me, like I had since I was eight years old, and I did what I always did. I held on and waited. Once the world stopped moving, I’d keep going.

This time, when it stopped I looked over at Cross. I felt stripped naked in front of him. He saw me.

He frowned, tilting his head. “What are you thinking?”

I swallowed. “I don’t want to. That’s the problem.”

He stared, long and hard, and then he asked, “You feel like not talking today?”

I had to remember to hold on or I’d fall. The floor could dip out from underneath me at any moment. Everything was spinning.

I nodded, my neck stiff. “Please.”

“Okay.” He gestured to my body. “How are the bruises? Still sore?”

Numb right now. “Fine.”

“You’re such a liar.”

I shrugged, just staring at him. I didn’t dare look anywhere else.

“I’ll call the guys. We can do a crew skip day.”

That sounded heavenly. I tried to smile. I failed. “You know all the right moves to make a girl happy.”

He barked out a laugh. “Doubtful. Something tells me I’ve got things to learn yet.” We stared at each other again, and this time there was some extra heat. It was long, and slow, and smoldering, and I couldn’t stop myself.

I stared right back, and somehow, in some magical and miraculous way, under the layers of shit inside of me, I felt something good happening.

It scared the crap out of me.

“What happened to you?”

The next day, when I finally went back to school, Taz cornered me at my locker. Well, her locker was there too, but she already had her books in hand, and she didn’t make a move to open her locker. I turned around, gathering my things, and closed my locker.

“Good morning to you too.”

She wasn’t looking at me—her eyes cut to the side like she was refusing to look at me.

“You were supposed to make sure Race’s dad did the sponsor ad, but that was days ago. You’ve been gone from school, and my brother skipped school yesterday too.”

Jordan and Zellman as well, I added silently. We’d hung out in Jordan’s storage shed the whole day. We played video games and watched movies. And we napped, which I was most happy about. The guys smoked. A few beers were consumed, but that was it. We each told our favorite crew memories, and my ribs had hurt from laughter.

It was one of the best days I’d had in a while.

“No one told you what happened?” I asked her.

She frowned and still didn’t look at me. “No. What happened?”

“I went to find Race, but Alex Ryerson and his crew jumped me.”

“WHAT?!” She finally looked up and saw me. She let out a shriek. “YOUR FACE! What happened?!”

“What I said. Ryerson and his crew jumped me.” I’d used makeup this morning, and I covered a lot of it, but I hadn’t been able to hide all of the bruises.

“Oh my God.”

I nodded, hearing the first bell. “No one’s said anything?”

“No. I mean…” She tightened her hold on her books, moving them to her hip as she reached to open her locker. Her eyes remained glued to my face, even as she swung open the door. It almost hit her, but she didn’t seem fazed. “Man,” she said under her breath. “Things have been tense. Cross wouldn’t leave Jordan and Zellman’s side, but he doesn’t normally anyway, at least when you’re not here. I’ve been busy with the charity planning. We’re hoping to get everything done by the end of the month since we have early Homecoming this year.”

“Yeah.” I looked up as Race came around the corner. He kept going, but he glanced over. There was no reaction on his face, but I don’t know what I was expecting. He’d been honest with us, and we’d shut him out.

“About that,” I said. “I won’t be able to ask him after all.”

She shut her locker closed. “Why? What happened?”

Cross came down the hallway now, moving the opposite direction from Race.

“Nothing,” I murmured, watching his progression. “You can ask him, but I won’t be.”

Cross saw me, but then he noticed Race. He straightened up, his face stoic as the two watched each other pass in silence. Neither broke stride.

“You just went pale,” Taz said, a deep frown on her face. “What just happened? What is going on with you?”

“What?” I asked, but then Cross was here.

He opened his locker. “What are you guys talking about?”

“You!” Taz said.

Cross paused. “Me?”

“You didn’t tell me what happened to Bren.” Taz’s tone was accusing. “She’s my friend too, Cross.”

“Oh.” Realization flooded, and his old grin came back. He shrugged, grabbing some of his books. “It’s crew business. You know we can’t talk about it.”

“That’s not true. You guys tell me stuff.”

“Some stuff,” he corrected her, shutting his locker.

As soon as he stepped away, a protected pocket formed around him in the flurry of activity. Students gave him a wide berth, weaving around him, and it only got bigger when I stepped in next to him. We began to walk to our classes, and Taz got jostled as she walked on the outside. Students were darting around her, choosing her side rather than going near Cross.

As I broke off, heading to my class, Taz started arguing with him. I glanced back, automatically grinning, then realized Cross had been watching me. He had tuned his sister out, and I paused in the doorway.

Once again, I felt a stirring inside of me.

I didn’t altogether like it, but I couldn’t deny that it excited me. It scared me too, and most terrifying—I didn’t want it to go away.

Cross’ eyes darkened, narrowing until Taz stopped talking and looked at me. The spell, or whatever it was, broke, and I waved.

“See you later.”

Cross nodded, the slight blaze I’d seen in his eyes vanishing.

He was back to normal, but as I walked into my first class, I knew I wasn’t. I was most definitely not normal, and sliding into my desk, I had a feeling this was just the beginning. There’d be more changes to come.

“Miss Monroe!” Mr. Jenston boomed as he came into the room, holding his briefcase high. He plopped it down onto his desk and jerked his thumb to the door. “Don’t even get comfortable. You’re wanted in the office.”

“What?” I sat forward. “For what?”

“Uh?” He pretended to think about it, his eyes moving to the ceiling. Like Taz, he wasn’t looking at me. “I don’t know. Maybe because you weren’t excused for your absence yesterday? Or maybe it’s your delinquent behavior? Take your pick. What sort of trouble did you get into on the way to school today? Did you stab anyone?” He scoffed. “Yet?”

The class quieted.

I heard a girl gasp behind me.

I leaned forward, rising to my feet.

“Take that back.” Jordan stood just inside the door, his hands in fists as he glared at our teacher.

Mr. Jenston had been leaning over his desk, staring at his computer screen. Seeing Jordan, panic flashed in his eyes, and he snapped upright.

“Excuse me?” He tried to glower back, but his voice shook a little. He ran a hand down the front of his tie.