I clear my throat, swallow, tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, fidget with the covers. Anything and everything to avoid making myself vulnerable. To avoid walking right into something else that’s going to tear me to shreds.

So instead of just saying what’s on my mind, I start a little more slowly, a little more carefully. “What if—” I blow out a breath and force the words from my too-tight throat. “What if we don’t go after the Crown?”

Hudson’s brows go way up. “You don’t want the Crown?”

“I mean, I want to free the Unkillable Beast. I promised him we would, and we need to do that. But…maybe we don’t need the Crown once we do it?”

For a second, it seems like Hudson has stopped breathing completely. His eyes are nearly black, his pupils blown out until I can see only a thin rim of blue around the edges. But then it’s his turn to clear his throat as he asks, “Is that what you want to do?”

“I think so, yeah.” I swallow. “Is it what you want to do?”

He grins just a little, and for the first time ever, I notice a tiny dimple in his left cheek. It makes him look more vulnerable, less armored, and I’d be lying if I said my heart didn’t jump a bit in my chest at the idea that I’m seeing a side of him that no one else gets to.

Even before he says, “Oh yeah.”

Then he leans forward, and it’s definitely not for the laptop this time. His eyes are focused on mine, his lips open just a little as he slowly, slowly, slowly—

My heart is pounding so hard in my chest, I’m certain he can hear it. The first time Jaxon kissed me, I was dying for it. But right here, right now, the thought of Hudson’s lips on mine is a lot. Maybe almost too much. “Umm, can I ask a question?”

Hudson pauses, only inches from my mouth now, his soft gaze holding mine. “Anything.”

I swallow. So much trust in that one answer, it makes me want to lean forward the last bit and kiss him back. But a part of me knows that, with him, it’s going to be much more than just a kiss. More than just physical. Probably more than either of us is ready for. So I take a deep breath—and pump the brakes. “Can we, umm…can we take it slow?”

He blinks. “Slow?”

“Yeah, I’m…” I blow out a breath. “I don’t know what I am.” More, I don’t know what this is, except scary as fuck.

He smiles a little, strokes a finger down my cheek. Then whispers, “Sure, Grace.”

But as he starts to move back away from me, I can’t help but realize the mistake in my request. Because the only thing worse than a kiss I am not sure I’m emotionally ready to handle with Hudson is not kissing him at all. And just like that, I reach up and fist his shirt in my hands, tugging him toward me again.

Hudson growls, a predatory gleam replacing the softer look from before, and thrusts one of his hands in my curls, his other snaking around my back and yanking me against his hard chest. My hands slide up to tangle in his silky hair, and I think I’m going to die if he doesn’t—

Suddenly, a knock sounds on the door—loud, hard, urgent—and we break apart so fast that Hudson has to grab me again to keep me from tumbling off the side of the bed.

34

And You Thought

You Had Daddy Issues

Hudson glances at me in question, but I just shrug, so he gets up to answer the door. He hasn’t taken more than a step before the door flies open, and I realize Jaxon is standing on the other side…along with the entire Order.

And none of them looks happy.

“Jaxon, what’s wrong?” I ask, jumping off the bed.

Before I can reach him, he turns toward his brother. “We have a problem,” he tells Hudson.

Hudson is watching him warily, and I don’t blame him. The warmth I usually see in Jaxon’s eyes is gone, and in its place is a distance I’m not used to. Not to mention a chill that has me looking for a sweater.

Which isn’t exactly a good feeling—especially when I give them permission to enter and my little dorm room is stuffed to the gills with seven vampires. And not just any vampires. Seven very large, very disgruntled vampires, all of whom look like they’re ready to draw blood at the slightest provocation.

“What’s going on?” Hudson responds, even as it looks like he’s bracing for a body blow—whether from the news or from Jaxon himself, I’m not sure.

“We just got back from Court,” Mekhi tells him.

“And?” Hudson draws out the word.

All eyes turn to Jaxon, but he doesn’t say anything else. Just walks to the window and stares out into the night.

I exchange a baffled glance with Mekhi, who looks like he wants to say something to Jaxon but then changes his mind at the last minute. Instead, he focuses on Hudson and says, “Cyrus convened a secret Circle meeting and has issued an order for your immediate arrest, presumably for the crimes committed against those students you persuaded to kill each other. And while he can’t arrest you at Katmere, the second you step off campus, you’re fair game for the Watch to take you.”

“The Watch?” I interrupt as horror sweeps through me. We spent the whole day off campus. If someone had found us, would they have taken Hudson? Or at least tried to, as I can’t imagine him going quietly? “Who are they?”

“No one,” Hudson says with a dismissive wave of his hand.

“They’re not no one.” Jaxon’s voice is colder than the Bloodletter’s cave. “They’re a sort of paranormal police force governed by the Circle that rose up in the absence of gargoyles to deliver justice by capturing those accused of crimes and delivering them to prison.”

Well, that sounds absolutely awful. But, “Wait. Why straight to prison? There’s no trial or anything?” I ask.

Again, the seven vamps exchange looks that very definitely leave me out. I’m about to call them on it when Hudson answers, “The Aethereum’s not a normal prison.”

Of course it isn’t. When has anything in this world been anything as mundane as normal? I wait for him to elaborate, but when he doesn’t, I turn to Jaxon and cut straight to the chase. “What makes this prison special?”

But he looks as reluctant to answer me as Hudson does, despite the coldness that continues to radiate from him.

“Mekhi?” I skewer him with a look that tells him he’d better start talking.

And while he might have laughed at such a look a few months ago, this time he jumps in right away. “The prison is cursed, Grace. There are nine levels of…hell…in an effort to prove innocence or redemption. They say the prison knows your sin and will let you go when you’ve been fully rehabilitated. But almost no one ever gets free. Like, ever.”

“How—how are prisoners deemed…rehabilitated?” I can barely get the words out of my too-tight throat.

“It tortures you. In every way you can possibly imagine, befitting your sins. An eye for an eye and all that. Most people go insane if they stay long enough. It’s considered a fate worse than death. Only the worst criminals are sent there.”

Torture. Insanity. Fantastic. I blow out a long breath as the terrible truth slams through me. “And this is what his own father wants to do to Hudson?” The only thing surprising about that question is that I’m surprised I even had to ask. “But why wasn’t I allowed a vote, if the Circle is who issued his arrest warrant? Why can Cyrus get away with this?”

“Because he’s the vampire king,” Luca says. “He’s untouchable.”

“Yeah, well, I’m the gargoyle queen, in case anyone’s forgotten!” My voice snaps like a rubber band, and the already quiet room turns eerily silent.

They’re all looking at me with varying degrees of surprise or respect, but I don’t care what any of them thinks of me. Not when Hudson’s life—and sanity—is on the line.

I shake my head and turn to hold Hudson’s gaze, trying to figure out what he’s thinking and feeling, but his face is stoic. “Surely as king and queen of the Gargoyle Court, we get a vote in what’s going to happen, right?”

Jaxon very quietly answers, “You’re not queen yet.”

I turn startled eyes toward him. “What—”

“You’re not technically the queen until the coronation. Which means Hudson, as your mate, isn’t gargoyle king yet, either. He’s fair game.” His jaw works. “You both are.”

“Me? I didn’t do anything to Cyrus.” Well, besides beat his ridiculous challenge.

“That’s why the arrest warrant isn’t for you,” Mekhi says. “But Cyrus isn’t naive, and he knows that it’s usually too difficult for mates to be separated for any length of time. Which means…he’s expecting you to choose to stay with Hudson and go to prison for his crimes, too.”

My gaze seeks out Hudson’s again, and I don’t have to be a mind reader to know what he’s thinking this time—no way would he ever allow me to pay for his crimes.

“So if we’re imprisoned before coronation—no more gargoyle queen and king,” I say. “And no shift of power on the Circle.”

“Exactly,” Hudson agrees.