“Sia!”

“Okay. Yes. I know. Uh…he asked about you.”

I figured. “And you said…?”

“I didn’t know what to say, so I just babbled. Gah. I never get like this except when it comes to you and him, but man. Addison, why did you leave?”

I was instantly hot and cold, all at once. “Because he killed Liam.”

“Yeah, but…” Her voice got so quiet. “It just doesn’t feel right. I don’t think he’d be this wrecked, not if he really did do it, or ordered it. You know?”

What was going on? “Is this why you guys stopped talking about moving out? You don’t believe he did it?” Taffy kept nudging my shoulders and arms. I ignored her. “Cole said he did.” Man. I drew in a breath. I’d just said his name, out loud. It’d been so long…

…so long.

“I know.” Sia sounded quiet now, like she’d shrunk in size. “I know, but…what if he lied, Addison? Have you thought—”

I didn’t want to think about that. I could feel my throat close up. “I, uh, I have to go, Sia,” I cut her off.

I was about to hang up.

“He asked if you were happy.”

I stopped, my finger poised over the end call button. I couldn’t breathe. My lungs were on fire, and I gripped my phone like a lifeline. “What’d you say?”

She rushed out, “I told him you were. He seemed happy to hear that. So, yeah. There you go. I’m sorry if I wasn’t supposed to say that to him.”

“No, no.” I shook my head. I didn’t know what to say.

He’d asked about me.

He knew I was “better.”

He was happy to hear that.

I couldn’t… I couldn’t put together a thought, so I choked out, “I have to go.”

I hung up before she could say anything more. My phone went in my pocket, and I stood as everything whirled—twisting, shaking, and churning inside of me. A hurricane was caught inside my body, and I could only stand there and stare at…I looked at what I actually was focused on. A piece of straw on the floor. A single, sad, lonely piece of straw. I felt at one with that straw right then.

I missed him. I felt the tears threatening to spill and blinked rapidly, brushing my hand over my eyes. They couldn’t spill. Not anymore. Not still.

I needed to get over him. He’d told me he killed Liam. I shouldn’t be feeling any of these emotions. I shouldn’t even be thinking of him. He should be dead to me, but my God—as I turned toward Taffy, I knew that wasn’t ever going to happen. I would keep trying, but I knew Cole would always be a part of me, no matter how wrong it would be to go to him.

An hour later, I was sweaty and covered in dirt and straw when Kirk stopped at the stall. He rested a hand on the opened door and looked inside. “I didn’t realize her stall was that messed up. John must not have mucked it out on Tuesday like he was scheduled to.”

“Nah.” I paused and wiped an arm over my forehead. “I took my time with Taffy before I came in. It’s fine.”

“Still.” He frowned, eyeing the corners. “It should probably be rinsed out.” He gestured outside. “Go ahead. I’ll finish up. Taffy can stay in the other stall for the night.”

“You sure?”

“Oh yeah. Besides, you got a visitor.”

“I do?”

There was no warning, no car parked outside, no giant-sized security guards at the entryway—none of that, but a tickle started in the bottom of my stomach. I didn’t need to ask who it was. As I stepped out from where Taffy was nudging my shoulder, I knew. The tickle grew. I walked through the barn, and it kept growing. Past the stalls, out to the cement stairs in front of the barn, and I felt him. He was right there, waiting for me, his hands in his pockets and his head turned away.

I drank in the sight of him. A buzzing started in my ears. I ignored it.

Sia was right. Cole looked thinner, and the bags under his eyes made me ache, but he looked so beautiful. A part of me hated that, a part of me loved it. I wanted to launch myself at him and feel his arms wrap around me, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. Instead, I stood there, and my mouth watered. His dark hair looked like it had been recently cut short again, a crew cut, and he wore a snug-fitting shirt over jeans. He looked lean, dangerous, mysterious, and altogether too gorgeous.

Then, as if he felt me the way I’d felt him, his head turned to me. His eyes. God. I stifled a sigh. I had missed his dark eyes and those long eyelashes.

A shadow crossed over his face before he asked, “Can I be here?” His voice was low, raw-sounding.

My heart dipped, hearing the pain there. “What do you mean?”

“Can I be here? Is that okay? If it’s not…” He hesitated, his head lowering as he winced. “I can go, if you don’t want me here.”

I did want him. I do. I only said, “It’s fine.”

He gestured to an alley beside the barn. “Over there?”

The barn was tucked next to the wall surrounding the fairgrounds, so the alley was empty, except for two horses being primped farther down. They were tied to the wall, and their owners were combing them, but they were too far away to hear. They didn’t pay us any attention.

Cole didn’t say anything right away. Neither did I. My mind raced. He was here. He had come. I should’ve hated him on sight. I should be throwing up right now, or pulling out a knife to stab him. I did none of those things. I clasped my arms behind me because they wanted to touch him. Disgust filled me, but it was at myself, not him.