"O-okay," he stuttered. He put his hands in his pockets and walked slowly away.

"Looks like tonight we do away with ceremony," Damien said, giving me a hard look.

"Yeah, tonight we do away with a lot of things." Shaunee was watching me, but it felt like her eyes were those of a stranger. Erin nodded in silent but complete agreement with her. I clamped my jaws shut to keep from screaming my pain and sorrow and fear. My friends were all I had. If I lost them, how would I survive? How would I stand against Neferet? How would I face Loren? How would I deal with the loss of Heath and Erik?

And then I remembered something I'd read in one of the old, musty books I'd been poring through when I was trying to find a magic bullet to help me heal Stevie Rae. A quote from one of the ancient vampyre Amazon High Priestesses had been written under her fierce, beautiful picture. She'd said, Being Chosen of our Goddess is as much pain as it is privilege. I was beginning to understand what that ancient priestess of Nyx had meant.

"Are we going to do this or not?" Aphrodite called from under the tree. I pulled myself together. "Yes, we are. North is that way." I pointed to Aphrodite's tree. "Take your places." Still holding on to Stevie Rae's wrist, I walked to the center of the circle that was taking shape around me.

"If you don't let go of me, I can't go to the position of earth," Stevie Rae said. I stared into her red eyes, trying to see some trace of my best friend, but only another cold-eyed stranger looked out at me.

"You're not going to be earth. You're going to stay in the center with me," I said.

"Then who's gonna complete the circle? Jack's gone, and anyway he's not exactly-" She broke off as her eyes went to the top position of the circle and she saw Aphrodite standing there. "No!" Stevie Rae hissed. "Not her!"

"Oh, stop it!" I shouted, causing the elements to stir the air around me in response to my anger and frustration.

"Aphrodite's standing in as earth. I'm sorry you don't like it. I'm sorry you don't like her. I'm sorry about a whole hell of a lot that I can't seem to do anything about. You're just going to have to deal with it, just like I'm dealing with it. Now stand here and be quiet and let's see if I can make this thing work." I knew everyone was staring at me. The Twins and Damien with the accusatory eyes of strangers, Stevie Rae with anger and what I knew was real hatred, whether it was just directed at Aphrodite, or at Aphrodite and me I wasn't sure. I took a quick glance at Aphrodite. She was standing in the northern position and watching Stevie Rae with wary eyes.

Great. Like this atmosphere was good for goddess worship?

I closed my eyes and took several deep, long breaths to center myself. Nyx, I know I've messed up, but please be with me and my friends. Healing Stevie Rae is more important than the drama going on between us. Neferet wanted me separated from everyone so that I'd also separate myself from you. But I'm not going to stop depending on you... believing in you ... ever.

Then I opened my eyes and walked resolutely to Damien. He usually greeted me with a cute smile. Tonight he met my eyes steadily, but there was nothing sweet or friendly about him.

"As High Priestess in training for our Great Goddess Nyx, I use her power and authority to call to my circle the first element, wind!" I spoke with a strong, clear voice, raising my arms over my head when I said the element's name, and was unimaginably relieved when a powerful gust of air whirled around Damien and me, lifting our hair and making our clothes flap. I turned to my right and walked to Shaunee. I didn't expect her to welcome me, and she didn't. She watched me silently with her dark, guarded eyes. I pushed back the despair her rejection made me feel and evoked fire.

"As High Priestess in training for our Great Goddess Nyx, I use her power and authority to call to my circle the second element, fire!"

I barely paused to feel the rush of heat that beat against my skin, but moved quickly to Erin, who as also silent and withdrawn.

"As High Priestess in training for our Great Goddess Nyx, I use her power and authority to call to my circle the third element, water!"

I turned my back on scents of the sea and walked over to Aphrodite. She met my gaze steadily and smiled grimly at me.

"It sucks to have your friends pissed at you, doesn't it?" She said it quietly, so that only I could hear her.

"Yeah," I whispered back. "And I'm sorry I had something to do with your friends getting pissed at you."

"Nah," she shook her head. "It wasn't you. It was my stupid shitty choices. Just like it's your stupid shitty choices that got you into this mess."