I look up. “Hmm?”

“It’s okay that you hit it off with Brendan.”

“I know.” I force out a chuckle. “It’s so strange…”

“What?”

“You’re Dale’s mom. And here I am talking about seeing someone else, when you and I both know…”

“I love my son,” she says. “More than you’ll ever know, at least until you have children of your own. But…he gets in his own way sometimes.”

“Meaning?”

She swallows the bite of bread she was chewing and then sighs. “Dale has never been able to open up. Especially not to me.”

I nod. “I’m sorry you’re not as close as you’d like to be.”

“Don’t get me wrong. He and I have a wonderful relationship. But he has a few walls built up, and I fear no one will ever be able to knock them down.”

“That sounds like a challenge,” I say.

“Oh, it’s not. When I say he gets in his own way, I mean a lot of things, but mostly I think he gets in his own way of being happy.”

“Do you think he could be happy with me?”

“How could he not? You’re smart and lovely, and you have so much in common. If he’d just let himself feel something.”

“You don’t think he feels?”

She shakes her head. “I’m not explaining this very well. He loves us all. Especially his father and sisters. Yes, he feels for all of us and would do anything for us. For any of his cousins as well. He’s a good man.”

“I know that.”

“But he’s built a wall around himself. It’s been there since he came to us, and it seems to grow taller with each passing year. Sometimes I want to bulldoze it down and yell at him to just unmask his feelings. But it won’t do any good. Men like Dale need to come to the realization on their own.”

“Men like Dale?”

She nods. “He’s a lot like his father, as I’ve told you before. He can’t be pushed, Ashley. And believe me, I know how it feels to want to push.”

“I haven’t pushed him.”

I don’t feel my words are untrue. Maybe I’ve pushed him a little, but mostly I’ve just conversed with him, maybe played devil’s advocate a bit. And I haven’t discouraged his physical attentions. Should I have? It’s not really in my nature. I like sex. A lot. I don’t apologize for that.

None of this is suitable conversation to have with his mother, though.

“I’m not saying you have.”

“I know it was a mistake to go into his house that day Penny ran off. If he’d been home, I’m not sure what I would have said or done.”

“Doesn’t matter, because it’s over. I’ll keep your secret. There’s no harm done anyway.” She smiles, takes a sip of the Chianti, and then grimaces. “Oh, my. I used to love Chianti, but I’m spoiled now, with my brother-in-law’s and my son’s wines.”

I haven’t tasted the wine yet, so I bring the goblet to my lips. I let the liquid rest on my tongue for a few minutes. It’s a little too acidic for my tastes, but it’s a basic table wine. “This isn’t Chianti Classico,” I say. “You’ll find it better once our food arrives, especially if you order something with a tomato base.”

She smiles. “You just sounded a lot like Dale.”

“He does know his wine.”

“As do you.”

I can’t help a laugh. “Well, I am almost a doctor of wine!”

Her tone becomes serious again. “If you’re able to get through to my son, you have my blessing. You’re a wonderful young woman.”

My cheeks warm. Jade has no way of knowing how much her words mean to me, and I can’t begin to express the thought in mere words myself. So I say simply, “Thank you.”

“If I had it my way, you’d be together,” she says. “I want happiness for my son, and if he’d let himself feel something, I think he could find happiness with you.”

“Dale knows he’s loved,” I say. “I can tell that just by my limited interaction with him.”

I force myself not to wince at the use of the term “limited interaction.” Our interaction has hardly been limited physically. But emotionally? It’s been very limited. Nonexistent, even.

“I believe you’re right,” Jade says. “Dale knows how much we all love him. What he doesn’t know, though—and may never be able to grasp as long as he lives within those walls he’s erected around himself—is how much he’s cherished.”

Chapter Eight

Dale

I turn to my father. “It’s your money. If you want to help him, help him.”

“I’d like to have the support of his biological sons.”

“You have mine,” Donny says.

Begrudgingly, I finally say, “Fine. You have mine as well.”

Why so much anger? So he abandoned his kids. He’s not the first lowlife to do that. And he bears no blame for what happened to us.

Except that maybe he does. We were alone in our house the day we were taken. If he hadn’t abandoned us, maybe our mother could have been there with us instead of working all the time.

But many single mothers leave their children home alone, and they grow up just fine without ever experiencing what my brother and I did.

Still, the rage claws at the back of my neck.

Rage I never let myself feel before. I tamped down all emotions long ago to survive.

I had to.

For if I’d allowed myself to feel, I wouldn’t have been able to deal with what happened to me. The horror and torture I endured to spare my brother.

It was worth it. It still is. My brother is a fine young man, and though he may have his struggles, he’s put the past behind him in a way I’ll never be able to.

I’d do it all again to protect him. I have no regrets.

Which is a lie. That thing buried inside me is pawing at its cage, determined to escape.

I ignore it and focus on my conscious regret.

Allowing emotion to overtake me.

I’m in love.

I’m in love with Ashley White, and the feelings are so overwhelming I can’t make sense of them.