“I don’t know.”

“Dale, what’s wrong?”

“Floyd is dead.”

“Oh.” She presses her fingers to her bottom lip. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not.” No truer words.

“It’s okay to feel something.”

“Oh, I feel something, all right, but it’s not even close to sorrow.”

She reaches for my hand, but I whisk it away.

“Please,” I say. “Stay here. Take care of my dog. There’s plenty of food in the pantry, fridge, and freezer. Or you can eat at the main house with my parents.”

“Dale, I—”

“Please, Ashley.” I rub furiously at my forehead. “For God’s sake, don’t ask me a bunch of questions I can’t answer. Just promise me you’ll take care of my dog.”

She falls back, her beautiful lips trembling. “Yes, of course. I’ll take care of her. Whatever you need. Always.”

“Thank you.”

“But it’s harvest. We’re just about to—”

“Damn it, Ashley!” I push my fingers through my hair.

Her eyes widen. “You look…”

“What? I look what?”

“Like… Like a lion. Ready to pounce on prey.”

My dick is hard, all right. It always is when Ashley’s around. But if I take her now, it won’t be for love.

It will be in anger and rage about something that has nothing to do with her. Indeed, she has no idea what it even is, and if I have my way, she’ll never know.

Maybe I’m not fit to live with others. Maybe I need to go somewhere, build a life alone. Live like a hermit. Or a nomad. I can wander the world, see all its sights…

I’ve considered this path before, and as much as it appeals to me in some ways, I’ve never followed it. I’ve always thought of others.

And now, I not only have my family to consider, but a woman who…

So I won’t take the path of least resistance. I won’t. But I need these few days, maybe even a week.

I need to go.

“Dale…”

“What? For God’s sake, what?”

“Running away isn’t the answer.”

I don’t respond. She’s right, of course, but what she doesn’t know is that I have no choice. I have to run. If I don’t, I can’t be responsible for what I may do.

“Can you at least tell me where you’re going?” she asks.

She’ll pester me until I give her something, so I reply, “To the mountains.”

“Without Penny?”

“I need to be alone.”

“Please, I—”

“I’m done talking about this. Tell my parents not to worry. I’ll text Uncle Ry that I’m taking a few days off.”

“They’ll worry anyway.”

“That’s on them, then. I’m going to pack.”

“Dale!” Her tone has changed. It’s angry now. She’s going to fight me.

She will lose.

“I’ve said all I’m going to say.”

She whips her hands to her hips. “Well, I haven’t. I’m not letting you run away like this. Whatever’s going on, you shouldn’t be alone right now. I’m here for you. That’s what you do when you love someone, Dale. You feel their pain with them.”

I rub at my temples, trying to ease the throbbing that has erupted. “I don’t want you feeling my pain. I don’t want anyone feeling my pain. It’s mine, damn it! All mine!”

“Bullshit,” she says. “I don’t buy it. Not for a minute.”

“You’re not me, Ashley. No one will ever be me, so you don’t know what’s going on in my head. Believe me, you don’t want to know.” Truth. I don’t want to know myself half the time.

“You want a fight?” she says. “You’ve got one.”

“I don’t want a fight. You’re the one who’s determined to fight me on this. I just want to go!”

“What if I block the door?”

I shake my head. Really? This is where she’s going? “I’ll move you.”

“Take your best shot.” She walks to the back door and plasters herself against it.

I stalk toward her, lift her into my arms, and—

She wraps her arms around me and kisses me. Hard. Her tongue probing the seam of my lips until I open for her without meaning to.

I can’t help myself. I love her. I want her. I need her.

I’m going to take her. Right now in my kitchen. I walk to the island and set her on the granite countertop, our lips still fused together.

I unsnap her jeans and use both hands to slide them, not gently, over her hips. I get as far as her knees. It will be a tight fit, but I don’t give a damn.

Our lips still sliding against each other’s, I take care of my own jeans and free my aching cock.

With one swift thrust, I’m inside her.

Fuck. So tight, even with her wetness. Her legs are pinned together by her jeans around her knees, which makes for narrow paradise between her legs.

I fuck her hard. I fuck her fast.

I’m concerned only about my own gratification. It’s all about me this time. All about me and the broken soul inside my body.

She groans into my mouth, finally breaking our kiss and gasping. “Dale!”

If she tells me to stop, I’m not sure I’ll be able to.

She doesn’t.

She holds still and lets me take what I need. I fuck her. Just fuck her. And when I release, I bury myself in her comforting body, pulsating into her, grunting.

I love you.

The words don’t leave my throat.

I love you.

Still don’t.

I love you.

“I love you,” she says.

I pull out, then, satiated, and leaving her sitting on the counter, I head to my bedroom where I pack a bag quickly.

Within fifteen minutes, I’m in my truck, en route to…

To somewhere else.

Chapter Fifty-Three

Ashley

Two days later, and Dale is still gone.

He hasn’t stopped loving me. I believe it with all my heart. If that were the case, he wouldn’t have asked me to stay at his place, to take care of his precious dog.