Author: Nyrae Dawn

His hand slides up my shirt and again, I shiver. All I can think about or focus on is Colt and what I feel and it’s so very much what I need. It’s on my terms and it’s what I want, when I want and it won’t matter if I walk in on him with another girl or if he walks away or anything else.

“Sit up.” His mouth is going down my body as his hands are moving my shirt up. I lean forward and Colt keeps pushing until my shirt slips over my head and lands on the floor.

His mouth nips at my breast through my bra as he uses one hand to unhook it. Pleasure bubbles inside me. I ache everywhere, but it’s the kind of ache I want.

“Oh, God, I can’t believe you just did that one handed. That should make me run right now.”

It distracts me from the fact that he’s seeing me without a shirt on for the first time. I want to cover up, but I don’t have to because I’m in control and I don’t freak out anymore.

“Do you want to run, Cheyenne?” I expect to hear a joke or feel his mouth, but neither happens. He’s on top of me now and I look at him.

His eyes are so blue the sky has nothing on them. “No.”

Then comes the smirk and he looks down at my chest. His finger brushes one of my nipples and if it didn’t sound cheesy I would admit that I feel that one touch everywhere.

“What do you want?” He leans forward and his mouth takes the place of his finger on my breast. He flicks his tongue across the tip and I arch toward him.

“I don’t know.” I sort of hate the answer. I should know. I should be able to say, but I can’t. I just want to feel and be taken away from everything else. The picture under my mattress and the nightmares keeping me awake and how I thought Gregory mattered when something that small shouldn’t have had any significance on my life at all.

And suddenly, I want to cry. Why do I want to cry? I shake my head and close my eyes and will the tears away. It’s not because of Colt. God, what he’s doing feels so good. Maybe it’s because it does feel good and I don’t know if I should feel that way right now.

When his mouth stops moving, I let my eyes flutter, hoping no wetness springs free.

“This is going to give you a huge head and I’ll probably regret it later, but you are so hot,” he says.

He’s not even looking me in the eyes. His gaze is firmly on my breasts and it’s all so ridiculous and crazy and just what I needed that I can’t stop myself from laughing.

Finally, he peers back up at me and the look in his eyes tells me he knows I was struggling a few minutes ago. “Should I keep going?”

When did I become so weak? I’ve never had to be coddled in my whole life yet this guy I hardly know has had to do it over and over. Was there ever anyone to do it before? Or would I have accepted it?

“If you don’t, I’m going to have to get angry.”

Colt tsks. “We wouldn’t want that.”

And then his mouth is on me again. My nipples tingle at his touch. His hand moves down. Under my sweats and my panties too. I tense when his finger pushes in—the good kind of tense because it feels so good I can’t handle it.

I already feel myself starting to come apart as I move with his hand. Heat scorches up my body. He was right. I’m definitely not cold. Colt’s hand and mouth continue dueling out their pleasure as I bite down hard. A burst of pleasure shoots through me as he pushes another finger in. I don’t want to scream, but the slow fizzle inside me is building to a bomb ready to explode at any second.

And just as it does, just as I come undone, flying higher and hit with more pleasure than I’ve ever felt, I start to drift my way back to Earth. As Colt’s slides up my body again and I know he’s moving so he can take his pants off. The door jerks open.

“Cheyenne! You’ll never guess—oh. Wow. Holy shit!” Andy doesn’t even turn her head.

“Andy!” I scream. Colt is on top of me and I’m covered, but I still feel my cheeks heat.

“Fuck,” Colt mutters and I’m starting to read him well enough to know what that means. This is over for now.

“You mind?” I ask, trying to play it off. “We’re a little busy right now.”

A smile stretches across her face and she winks. “I’m out of here.” The door is almost closed before her head pops in again. “Hot. Seriously. You’re way better looking than that other guy.” And then she’s gone.

Colt doesn’t move and neither do I. Finally he says, “We’re going to my house next time.”

I go for trying to sound as light as he does. “Your fault. You could have called me over.”

He’s already moving and sitting up. He leans over the bed, grabs my shirt and hands it to me. I suddenly feel bad because I’m pretty okay and got some relief, but he didn’t.

“What about…?”

This makes him smirk.

“Glad I’m amusing to you.”

“That’s nice of you to worry about my well-being, but I’m good for now. You’ll owe me one.” He winks and stands up, grabs his shirt and pulls it on.

Whatever. “I was getting a little bored anyway. I should do some homework.”

“Bullshit.” But he’s smiling and I think he’s having as much fun as me. If this was Gregory, we’d do our homework together. Or he’d keep going, but what I have with Colt is different. It’s not about anything more than this.

“I’ll call you, okay?” He looks unsure. Licks his lips and starts to bend toward me, but stops himself.

I almost tell him it’s okay to kiss me, but I don’t want it to look like I want him to kiss me if that’s not what he wants.

“Sounds good.”

With one more glance, Colt heads for the door. His hand touches the knob, but he doesn’t move. I hear as he lets out a deep breath, before he turns around.

“Tell me I’m not a bastard for doing this.”

He’s not, but it’s cool that he wonders. “You’re a bastard, but not for this. No worries.”

It’s the right thing to say because he gives me a small nod and a smile. “Keep that. The honesty.” Colt pulls the door open and steps out. “I’ll see you later, Tiny Dancer.”

Just like Andy, he’s gone.

I can’t help but think I like that name much better than princess.

Still, the thoughts rush back in quickly. Rolling over, I pull the picture out from under my mattress and cover my head with the blanket. My mind immediately goes where it does every night. Wondering if she knew what would happen when she left me. Wondering if she wanted to leave me and what her last minutes were like.

~CHAPTER NINETEEN~

Colt

I tune out in class even more than I usually do. I come because it’s important to Mom and I do the shit I need to do to get by, but that’s about it. Luckily, stuff like this isn’t hard for me. Are my grades the best? Nope, but they’re what I need to get the scholarships and financial aid I need to keep myself locked up in this place.

And it works. The professors feel like they’re doing their job. Mom believes I’m suddenly going to have this incredible life she never did because I’m on my way to a piece of paper that doesn’t do anything to guarantee me a job when I’m finished. It makes her happy which makes me feel like I’m not the shittiest son in the world so it all works out.

But today, I feel like being here even less than I usually do. Christ, Cheyenne felt good the other day. The little whimpers from the back of her throat. Her body all lined against mine. I’m still trying to figure out why I pulled the breaks. Yeah her roommate came home, but she left and there wasn’t anything stopping me from staying and finishing what we started.

What my body is jonesing to finish right now, but I felt like an ass. When I’m with a girl I do it so I don’t have to feel. But I was feeling and I don’t like it. All those unwelcomed emotions made me bail.

But we both want it. Both want it bad so that makes my guilt even more fucked up.

When class gets over I grab my stuff and head out. My car’s running for now so I head out to the lot and get in, turn it on, but don’t go anywhere.

I don’t know why the hell I’m sitting here, flipping my phone over in my hand. My head is all screwed up, but I don’t know why, which pisses me off more.

My phone beeps and I turn it over to see a text from Cheyenne.

What’s up?

Waitin on u I text back. Which is only half a bullshit answer, but it sounds good. Today’s a late day for me so it’s already after three, but I don’t know what her schedule is. For all I know she’s not even here.

I have another hour…after?

My pulse jackhammers like I’m a sixteen-year-old about to get laid for the first time.

Meet u at ur dorm Is all I say and then drive my dumbass around like I have a reason to wait for her when she can drive herself.

When she walks up a little over an hour later I’m leaning against my car waiting for her. She’s back to public Cheyenne with tight jeans that probably cost more than my whole wardrobe and a shirt that shows a nice amount of cleavage.

“You coming over?” I ask, crossing my arms.

“You inviting me?” She does the same.

I hold in my smile because I don’t like the fact that she makes me want to do it so often. “I just did.”

She rolls her eyes. “I could have found my way to your place.”

I shrug because I don’t know how to reply without looking like a pussy.

“You drive me crazy,” she says, but she’s walking over to my car. I get back into the driver’s seat and we pull away.

We’re not in the car for two minutes when her cell rings. I watch as Cheyenne presses silent.

“You hungry?” I ask.

“I am, actually.”

“We’ll hit a drive-thru.”

Her phone rings again. She silences it. After we grab our food it beeps another time. “You know I don’t give a shit if that’s your pretty boy, right? Play your games if you want to. We both know what this is.” I tap my fingers against the steering wheel, frustrated.

“Be careful, Colt or I’ll think you’re jealous.”

“Be careful or I’ll think you want me to be.”

She sighs and I’m pretty sure I pissed her off more than I wanted to.

“It’s my aunt,” she finally says as we pull up in front of my tiny ass house.

Fuck. And again I feel like a prick. “You don’t wanna talk to her?” I kill the engine.

“Not really. She’s freaking out. Thinks I’m having a hard time and wants me to come home.”

I flash back to the night in the yard, seeing her all huddled in the corner behind the shed. I almost tell her she is having a hard time and that maybe she should go home, but I’m not sure it’s my job. Glancing at her hands I see they’re shaking slightly and her breasts are heaving against her shirt.

So I do what I’m here for. What she needs from me. I slide my hand through her hair and pull her to me. Silence her thoughts and her words with my mouth. Cheyenne kisses me greedily like she always does, like she’s hungry for me and I know I’m starving for her, so I kiss her deeper. Let my other hand slide to her leg and up.

When we pull away we’re both breathing hard, but I don’t think she’s thinking about her aunt or her mom anymore. “Damn I’m good.” I tell her which earns me a smack on the arm.

We get out and head inside. I’m not surprised to see Adrian sitting in the living room with a few people around him. Beers are on the coffee table and they’re listening to music on the TV.

This place is never empty and drives me fucking crazy.

“’Sup?” Adrian says. He sounds half asleep. “Beers in the fridge,” he says and I’m about to tell him no, but then Cheyenne says thanks and heads toward the kitchen.