I shook my head at him and gingerly took the wad, wiping my face.

"Blow your nose, too. You have snot. You always have snot when you cry. That's why I always have Kleenex."

"Oh, be quiet! I don't cry that much," I said, momentarily forgetting he was dead and all.

"Yeah, but when you do, you snot a lot, so I need to be prepared."

I stared at him as reality smacked me again. "Then what happens when you're not there to give me snot rags?" A sob escaped from my throat. "And - and not there to remind me what home is like, what love is like? What being human is like?" I was bawling again, big-time.

"Oh, Zo. You'll figure that all out on your own. You have lots of time. You're a big-deal vamp High Priestess. Remember?"

"I don't want to be," I told him with complete honesty. "I want to be Zoey and be here with you."

"That's just part of you. Hey, maybe it's part of you that needs to grow up." He spoke gently in a voice that sounded suddenly too old and wise for my Heath.

"No." As I said the word, I saw a skittering, inky darkness slide past the edge of my vision. My stomach tightened, and I thought I caught the sharp shape of horns.

"Zo, you can't change the past."

"No," I repeated, and looked away from Heath, peering into what had just moments before been a beautiful, bright meadow framing a perfect lake. This time I definitely saw shadows and figures where there had been nothing but sunlight and butterflies before.

The darkness within the shadows scared me, but the figures that were also within them drew me like bright things draw babies. Eyes flashed within the intensifying gloom, and I caught a good look at one pair of them. I felt a jolt of recognition. They reminded me of someone . . .

"I know someone out there."

Heath took my chin in his hand and forced me to look from the shadows to him. "Zo, I don't think it's a good idea for you to gawk around here. You just need to make up your mind to go home and then click

your heels together, or do some kind of High Priestess extra-special-zapping-magick-stuff and get back to the real world where you belong."

"Without you?"

"Without me. I'm dead," he said softly, stroking the side of my cheek with fingers that felt all too alive.

"I'm supposed to be here; actually, I kinda think this is just the first step of where I'm supposed to be.

But you're still alive, Zo. You don't belong here."

I pulled my face from his hand and lurched away from him, standing up and shaking my head, making my hair fly around me like a crazy woman. "No! I won't go back without you!"

Another shadow caught my eye from what was now a dark, writhing mist that surrounded us, and I was sure I saw the sharp glint of pointed horns. Then the mist boiled again, and a shadow took on a more human form, peering at me from out of the darkness. "I know you," I whispered to the eyes that were so much like mine, only they looked older and sadder - a lot sadder.

Then another shape took her place. These eyes met mine, too, only they weren't sad. They were taunting and blue, but that didn't erase their familiarity.

"You . . ." I whispered, trying to pull myself from Heath's arms, which were holding me tightly against his body.

"Don't look. Just pull yourself together and go home, Zo."

But I couldn't stop looking. Something inside compelled me. I saw another face framed by eyes I knew - and this time I knew them well enough that the knowledge lent me strength, and I pulled away from Heath, turning him so he could see where I pointed into the gloom. "Holy crap, Heath! Look at that.

It's me!"

And it was. The "me" froze as we stared at each other. She was probably about nine years old, and she blinked up at me in terrified silence.

"Zoey Look at me." Heath wrenched me around, holding my shoulders in a grip that I knew would cause bruises later. "You have to get out of here."

"But that's me as a kid."

"I think all of them are you - pieces of you. Something's happened to your soul, Zoey, and you gotta get out of here so that it can get fixed."

Suddenly I felt dizzy and sagged in his arms. I don't know how I knew, but I did. The words I spoke were as true and as final as his death. "I can't leave, Heath. Not unless all those pieces of me are me again. And I don't know how to make that happen - I just don't know!"

Heath pressed his forehead against mine. "Well, Zo, maybe you should try using that annoying mom voice you used on me when I drank too much and tell them to, I dunno, to stop all this bullpoopie and get back inside you where they belong."