Remy was gone. No one knew where, but I knew why. And it killed me sometimes.

*****

In the darkness, Jaxon’s hand grabbed at my hip. He moved me so that I was lying on my side, and then he rested behind me. Lifting my night gown up to my waist, he eased himself inside of me.

“Is that alright?” he tentatively asked me.

“Yeah,” I answered.

“Doesn’t feel uncomfortable?”

“No.”

He trailed kisses from my shoulder up to my neck, moving in and out of me slowly. His hand roamed from my hip and awkwardly over my belly. The movement alone had me bursting into laughter, and he paused.

“What’re you laughing at?”

“You can barely make your way there.”

“Not true. I’m flexible.”

I shook my head, admiring his perseverance as he stretched passed my stomach and to my clit, massaging it. “See,” he whispered in my ear, “I got this.”

I shook with laughter and he paused again. “Stop it, Sara. I’m horny and you’re ruining it for me.”

“I can’t… Oh, my God, I can’t take this seriously.”

He exhaled loudly in my ear and pulled away. He slipped out of me and I heard him shuffle around the bed. I turned to see what he was doing in the dark. I watched his butt naked ass walk across the room. Oh crap, did I piss him off?

I laughed even harder, though. I couldn’t help myself. He went through a few drawers and came back with something in his hand.

“What do you have?” I suspiciously asked.

“Open your mouth,” he demanded.

“What?”

“Open it.”

“Why?”

Even in the dark I could see his features attempt the Mr Stern look. I opened my mouth and waited as he leaned into me. He put a few fingers inside to keep them wide and then stuffed a sock into my mouth. I gasped and pushed away.

“No! I’m muffling your ass so I can fuck you,” he said, restraining his own laughter as he moved me up on all fours. “So tired of you laughing at yourself…”

I spat out the sock. “You’re sick.”

“Shut up.”

I muffled the laughter by pressing my mouth into the sheets while he moved behind me, bringing my ass up into the air. One hand trailed down my spine and then over each cheek softly. He positioned himself at my entrance, and I felt a sudden trickle of something wet flowing out of me.

Well, fuck, I wasn’t that turned on.

“Jaxon, stop,” I said, suddenly feeling strange.

He grunted angrily. “What the fuck, Sara?”

“There’s something coming out of me.” I went to sit up and then – “Oh, shit.” Water gushed like Niagara fucking Falls right out of me. “Fuck! Get me a towel! Now! Now!”

Jaxon just hovered there. “What’s going on?”

“What do you mean ‘what’s going on?’ My water broke, you sperminator! Get me a towel!”

“Oh, fuck.”

Now? NOW it has to happen?! The lights went on and he rushed to me with a towel in his hand. His face paled significantly at the sight of our drenched bed.

“What-What do I do?” he hysterically asked.

“Get the baby bag and help me dress.”

“You’re still pouring water out of there. You’re going to soak whatever you put on.”

I gave him an irritated look. “What am I meant to do, Jaxon? Do you want me to go to the hospital naked?”

He frowned, angrily flashing his icy blue eyes at me. “Don’t piss me off. No one’s seeing you naked.”

“Then help me.”

I’ll admit, even in my hysteria I couldn’t help but smile at Jaxon. I’d never seen him so terrified in my life.

*****

Twelve hours of bone crunching agony later…

And she was here.

Jaxon trembled when they handed him the seven pound, three ounce, pink skinned girl. His eyes went red. The second our baby was in his arms, the tears flowed out of him. He looked down at her in bewilderment. Nine months of preparation had still not been enough for this moment. I watched the joy in him explode, and in his tear stained face, he smiled widely at me.

“Can you believe we did this?” he asked, gulping back his emotion.

Just as shocked, I shook my head. “No. I really can’t.”

“She’s… she’s so beautiful, Sara. She looks just like you. She’s got your fuckin’ pouty little mouth. Fuck.”

Nurses around us scowled at his use of language and I burst into laughter even though it made me feel woozy as hell. I was so damn tired and yet so mentally awake. I didn’t want to be in the hospital anymore even though I’d just delivered ten fucking minutes ago. I wanted to be home. I wanted to put my beautiful baby girl in her crib and watch her sleep for hours.

“She’s so beautiful,” Lucinda wept from over his shoulder. “Her little fingers, Jaxon. Look at her little fingers. And her face.”

“She looks like Sara.”

“Yeah, but she’s got your chin.”

“And my eyes.”

“Well, maybe. It’s blue now but it might change…”

I watched them both converse with excited ease, regarding our bundle of joy like she was a piece of the sky that had fallen into our lap. I stared at them and, I don’t know, maybe it was the birth that caused the tsunami of feelings in my chest to soar, but I broke down into wet, jagged sobs.

These two people…

They were my fucking world. Always had been. And I was here with them while they admired a baby I created with the most amazing man that ever existed.

Surreal. So goddamn surreal.

“You have visitors,” said the nurse. “Do you want to let them in?”

I nodded. Hell yeah. I wanted everyone in the world to see what I just made. This was Jaxon’s baby, I wanted to scream! He wanted me through thick and thin and we made it. We fucking made it.

“Oh, hell no,” yelped Lexi, bursting through the room. “I can’t believe this shit right now. What the fuck? Look at that fuckin’ baby’s face!” Cue more angry scowls from the staff. “Just look at that motherfuckin’ face, Frank!”

I looked over her shoulder and at the tall man standing behind her. In stark surprise, he took a few hesitant steps toward us. He wasn’t looking at our baby girl. He was looking at me. I smiled at him, and he smiled back, his eyes already puffy from tears he’d already shed.