I gulped the acidic taste in my mouth. I turned my face away, but I’m sure he saw the truth there already.

“Do you love me, Sara?”

Startled, my eyes shot back to his.

“Do you or do you not?” he pressed firmly. I watched his hands ball into fists as he waited for my response.

“I love him too,” I let out in defeat.

“No, you think you love him. You’re confused. You depended on him. He forced it out of you. I know you really love me. You still want me. Admit that much, at least. That you want me still.”

“I don’t want you! I moved on! I begged you–”

“You’re the liar now. You want me. I know you do.”

I didn’t respond. I craned my head in the direction of the party again. I’d been gone too long. Any second now Remy would notice my absence, or maybe he already did. I didn’t want him to worry, and I certainly didn’t want him to search for me. If he found us talking…

But then Jaxon’s scent infiltrated my senses. He closed in on me until I felt his chest against my own. His hands gripped my hips and his forehead pressed against mine. I closed my eyes and breathed in his air, so lost in the feel of him already, I didn’t want this heavenly bubble of ours to burst. Just a second in his embrace and I was ruined.

“Do you love me?” he whispered. His breaths tickled my lips and all I wanted was for him to kiss me.

“Yes,” I said sadly.

“Do you want me?” His hands gripped my hips and then slowly roamed up to my waist.

I exhaled slowly. “I’m with Remy now, Jaxon. He loves me.”

“And what about me?” his voice tensed. “Don’t I love you?”

I didn’t respond again.

“Remy’s a snake, and I’m not just saying that because of what he did to you. I’m saying that because it’s the damn truth. He’s a man of lies. Don’t trust a word he says, Sara.”

“Who should I trust? I’ve never been more alone.”

“Me. You can trust me. Always. I’ve been yours the second you gave yourself to me that night at Prom. You’ll never find anyone more loyal or true to their word than me. I’m going to make things right. You’re going to come back to me. I’m going to make it right. Just wait for me, Tiny.”

His pleading words broke down my walls – the very same walls that Remy was fighting hard to break down for months were demolished in mere seconds by Jaxon. His lips brushed against mine, and I opened my mouth to him and let him kiss me. Just the taste of him on my tongue and I was drowning in him. Everything dead and still inside of me came alive, and he did what he always did: ignited me. And, fuck yes, I wanted to burn. Let me burn with this man.

It was a soft, short kiss and it spoke of a promise. His heat left me, and I kept my eyes shut because I couldn’t bear to see him leave. I knew when I opened them again, he would be gone.

He was.

But the taste of him still lingered. I put my fingers to my mouth and cried.

Fourteen

Whoever he had on in the inside had told Jaxon I’d been in that bunker that precise amount of time. Was my display of neediness for Remy that obvious when I first arrived at the clubhouse? I felt once again like a naïve idiot.

He told me I couldn’t trust Remy, but everything I’d witnessed from him had said otherwise. Could Jaxon have purposely instilled that doubt as an attempt to change the way I felt for Remy? It seemed plausible, but then again, he hadn’t done it to me with Daniel.

Was my life such a joke that people felt they could lie to me? I didn’t know what to believe anymore. I faked ill when we got back. Remy had seen me emerging from the forest, and his eyes looked suspiciously around me for signs of something amiss. Surprisingly, he didn’t press me about it. I simply told him I was walking to relieve a headache from the noise level at the party, and he nodded in an act of sympathy that didn’t meet his eyes.

What a bitch I was lying to him. I loathed myself for already believing Jaxon’s words. There I was going in circles again. No matter how hard I tried to improve myself, to move on and change and be content with what I had, something always led me back to him. This wasn’t what happened to star crossed lovers. This was yet another window of opportunity.

I’m going to make it right. Just wait for me, Tiny.

I just wanted to scream! I had built something here! I had started from scratch, one tiny lego piece atop of another, building and building only to have it come violently crashing down.

That night I took advantage of my alone time. I went into the bedroom and looked under our bed, in Remy’s dresser, even in the pockets of his clothes. I didn’t know what I was searching for. Like a sticky beak, I pried into his belongings, looking for something that might echo Jaxon’s words.

Men like Remy weren’t sentimental. He harboured no treasures. He kept everything at a bare minimum. I rummaged through the bathroom cabinets but to no avail. With a sigh, I opened his closet and sorted through his jackets and clothes. Midway there, I stood up on my tippy toes and reached around the above shelf of the closet. Nothing but clothes, belts, boots and cases of that special cologne of his.

“Something,” I murmured, “Anything.” Yes, there were people that got rid of their things, but this was just downright over the top. Not one thing in this room spoke of him. It was too… void of him.

If I was Remy, where would I hide my shit?

I knew the answer to that one straight away because it was the only place that made sense. He went to this place too often for me to count. I walked out of the room and down the steps. Then down the corridor I went, passing the kitchen along the way until I was at the very back of the clubhouse where the surveillance room was. There was always someone in this room at all times. Usually it was Barge, and on many occasions I’d heard Remy swearing him off for falling asleep on the job.

I opened the door and stepped inside. Barge was overflowing the chair, hands crossed over his chest, face up at the ceiling, mouth wide open…

“GHWAWO!” His snores were loud and irrefutably unhealthy. The man needed to cool it with the cholesterol.

I looked at all the screens in front of him. Jeez, there were so many cameras everywhere. The largest screen was of the entrance gate. I watched people move in and out of rooms, saw Logan playing a game of cards with Vince. Darcy was carrying her kittens around, Broom was cleaning up the kitchen, and Fritz was… being Fritz, sitting on the couch passed out with a bottle of whiskey in his hand.