“What day is it?”

“Healing day.”

“What day of the week, Sarah?”

“Healing day.” She smiled. “It’s a new addition.”

“Fine. How many days have I been like this, then?”

“Lots.”

Okay, fuck it. “Where’s my phone?” I asked. “I need to call—”

“Penelope?” She shook her head. “She won’t answer you.”

“Can you give me my phone so I can test that theory for myself?”

“I’ll give you the whole thing whenever you’re well again.” She pulled it out of her pocket, and then she took out the battery before tossing it to me.

“Sarah, give me my entire phone.”

She picked up the remote and turned on the TV. Then she left the room.

I tried to get up, but it was too hard. My legs were still too numb.

“Sarah!” I called for her, but there was no answer. Before I could try again, the Behind the Scenes: Journey to the Olympics program appeared onscreen.

They panned the compound in Utah, then the interior facilities, and then Penelope.

The sight of her made me risk the pain of sitting up. Dressed in a bright red Team USA windbreaker, her hair was pulled atop her head in a messy bun, and her skin was glowing.

“It’s an honor to be here,” she said to a suited reporter. “I’ve truly missed being a part of this world, and I’m hoping to guide the incredible Katie Folds to her best performance yet when the games begin.”

“Well, we’ve more than missed you.” The suit smiled. “Years later, and we still haven’t seen anything like The Perfect Feather in this sport. You were one of a kind. Truly.”

She smiles uneasily, and I can see a hint of pain in her eyes.

As he gushed about her accomplishments, several highlights of her career began to play onscreen.

The last one, one of her nailing four back-to-back quadruple lutzes in Italy and pumping her fists, merged into what happened once the music ended: Her running toward me in tears of joy.

“I did it, Hayden! I did it!”

In excruciating pain, I managed to get out of bed within an hour. I headed to the kitchen, so that I could grab my other phone and charter a jet to see her.

But my legs gave out, and everything went black.

Fuck.

Forty-Two

Present Day

Penelope

Salt Lake City, Utah

The sound of skates hitting the ice had never seemed so jarring and annoying. From the moment that I stepped into the training Arena, I felt out of place.

As if I didn’t belong in this world anymore.

All of my days blended in a montage of nonstop workouts, media appearances, and nonstop questions about my former fall.

My emotions were still playing an out-of-sync symphony of sadness, and for whatever reason, I couldn’t get completely locked into coaching.

Katie Folds was extraordinary in every way, and she didn’t need any guidance; my presence was a mere formality.

Sighing, I sipped my coffee and signaled for her to take a break. “Let’s take twenty!”

She nodded and skated over to me.

“For the record, I watched you all the time when I was younger,” she said. “I’ve saved all of your competition tapes for inspiration. Well, you and your mom’s. You two are my favorites of all time.”

“That means a lot to me, Katie. Thank you.”

“Want something back from the deli?”

“Lemonade.”

“You’re welcome.” She nodded and slid a bag over her shoulder.

I waited until she was gone before sitting down and giving in to my emotions again.

I’d thought that I could break my record of six hours without thinking about Hayden, but it was no use. He invaded my daydreams, stormed through all of my thoughts, and I had to resist the frequent urge to pick up my phone and contact him.

He was, by far, the hardest breakup I’d ever had in my life, and I hated having to deal with it by myself.

Without my best friend.

“You know a ‘goodbye’ would’ve been nice.” Tatiana suddenly stepped in front of me. “Actually, I would’ve settled for an ‘I’ve changed my mind about flying to the compound to coach’ text message. That way, when I came back into town from my mini-coaching stint, I wouldn’t have been itching to file a Missing Persons report.”

Tears pricked my eyes as I looked up at her. “What are you doing here?”

“No, no, no,” she said. “The person who booked a flight without paying her part of the rent can’t ask me any questions right now. The better question is, why are you crying?”

I didn’t say anything.

“Frenemies talk to each other, Penelope,” she said. “They tell each other things.”

“Hayden broke up with me.”

Her eyes widened. “What?”

“He asked for space, and he also cheated on me.” Tears fell down my face.

She tilted her head to the side. “Where’d you get that latter thing from?”

“I lost my boyfriend and my best friend in one fell swoop.” I didn’t feel like addressing that topic right now. “I just reacted and picked up everything and left. I’m sorry that I didn’t call or text … I didn’t know what to say. Now I’m here and this doesn’t feel right. I mean, I want this more than anything, but the timing isn’t right, you know? And I feel like the one person I want to share it with isn’t here to celebrate the chance with me.”

She sat next to me on the bench, wrapping her arms around my shoulders.

I sobbed so hard that my chest and stomach ached even worse than they did last night.

“I have to vomit,” I said, rushing to the bathroom.

She followed and held my hair back just in time. “Hold on, let me get some tissue.”

“Ewww!” She scoffed. “There’s vomit in this other toilet already. Whatever food is being served here, don’t you dare offer it to me.”

“Sorry,” I said. “I forgot to flush that one an hour ago. That’s how upset I am. I’ve been crying every day.”

“Have you been vomiting like this every day, too?”

“Yeah.” I took the tissue from her. “I’ve never been like this after a break up before. This is so beyond awful that I don’t think I’ll ever get over him.”

“I bet.” She leaned against the wall. “I don’t think everything you’re feeling is due to the breakup, though.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think we need to get you a pregnancy test … ”

Forty-Three

Present Day

Penelope

Travis: Since you want to avoid my phone calls, I’m in town. Meet me for lunch. Now.

Me: Where? And what’s this about?

Travis: Anita’s at 43 Woodland.

Travis: You know what the fuck this is about.