“Did you tell him why?”

“I think he knew.”

“I can’t do a friends with benefits thing with you.” I couldn’t help but blurt out the words. “That’s just not for me. I’m sorry.”

“Penelope …” He sighed, tilting my chin up with my fingertips. “I meant every word that I said to you last night. I want to be with you, and you belong with me. No one else. Don’t you believe me?”

Tell him that last night was just a heat of the moment mistake.

“It wasn’t a heat of the moment mistake,” he said, reading me easily. “What else are you thinking?”

“You’re my best friend,” I said. “Like, my best fucking friend, and even if I do believe you, I can’t vet you like I do with anyone else and that scares the hell out of me.”

“Okay.” He trailed a finger against my lips. “Let’s vet me, then. Tell me the pros and cons of being in a relationship with the guy you were with last night.”

“I can’t think of any pros right now.”

“Then tell me the cons.”

“He’s never been in a monogamous relationship.”

“That doesn’t mean he’s incapable of being faithful.”

“You’re not supposed to take his side,” I said. “You have to let me finish and stay neutral.”

“Okay.” He brushed a few stray hairs from my forehead. “Give me the next one.”

“This guy is close friends with my brother, and my brother wouldn’t approve of me dating him at all.”

“I don’t see why you would suddenly have the need to tell your brother anything. It’s none of his business.”

“You think I should wait until the wedding?”

“Since when did the guy in question ask you to marry him?” He smirked. “I believe he only wants to be your boyfriend. Next con.”

“He’s famous.”

“That’s a fact, not a con.”

“I wouldn’t want to deal with the press hounding me or making up rumors just because I was dating him.”

“I think the press would continue to assume that there’s nothing going on,” he said. “It’s not like the guy we’re talking about would ever touch you in public. No matter how badly he wants to. Is there another con?”

“I’m just terrified of getting hurt.” I looked into his eyes. “I can’t stress that enough. If you hurt me, I have no other best guy friend to talk about the breakup with, and I lose everything.”

“I can promise you that won’t ever happen,” he said. “Now that we’re done with the cons, allow me to list out the pros for you.”

I opened my mouth to interject, but he pressed a finger against my lips.

“One, I know you better than any other guy you’ve ever dated.”

“You didn’t know about Simon or the voodoo doll.”

“Only one of those things will ever be discussed again.” He held back a laugh. “Two, I’m not going to watch you date any other guys.”

“That sounds like more of a threat than a pro.”

“It’s a guarantee.” He kissed my forehead. “Three, I think that deep down you want me as much as I want you, and that we can work very well together.”

“I only think that there’s a chance.”

“All the more reason that you should give it to me.”

“Three pros?” I asked. “That’s all you have?”

“It’s not like too much would change between us, Penelope.” He ran his fingers through my hair. “We talk to each other every day already, and we see each other whenever we want.”

“We weren’t having sex before.”

“And I never want to know what that’s like again.” He smiled. “I promise I won’t hurt you, Penelope. Give me a chance.”

I stared at him for several seconds, not saying a word.

“Penelope?” He looked concerned. “What do you say?”

“Okay.”

“Okay yes, or okay you need to think about it?”

“Okay, it depends on how good the next round of sex is.” I smiled. “I’m not sure if it’s as good as I remember.”

“Fair enough.” He laughed and clasped my hands, pulling me up against him. “Quick question. You really never thought about sex with me until you saw my leaked pictures?”

“Seriously? That’s what you’re thinking about right now?”

“I’m just curious.”

“Yes, Hayden.” I only managed to get a few words out before he assaulted me with another kiss. “That was my first time.”

Break Up #13

The One That Was Someone Else

Penelope

Back Then

“What I’m about to say is highly inappropriate, so I’ll deny it if you try to repeat it later.” My coach places his hands on my shoulders and looks deep into my eyes. “You’re sucking ass out there.”

“You gave me a perfect score thirty minutes ago.”

“To see if that would inspire some life into your performance.” He shook his head. “You’re not getting any better, so I’m giving you the spoiler: You’re going to lose tomorrow morning, and some other girl will be standing at the top of that podium. ”

I bite my tongue to prevent myself from saying something sarcastic. “I’m really doing the best I can, Coach.”

“No, this is your worst.” He scoffs. “You’re out there skating like you’ve never been fucked before.”

My jaw drops. “What?”

“I said what I said.” He shrugs. “You had the audacity to tell me that you’re on the chase for twenty-eight championships so you can beat your late mother’s record? Well, I hate to break it to you, but you’re eight short, and if you want to even think about achieving that, you can’t afford to lose for two years.”

My blood boils as he berates me in front of my competition.

Before I can tell him that I’m done listening to him for the day, he lowers his voice and softens his tone.

“You’re the best damn singles skater that I’ve ever had the honor of training, but you have to want this shit more than I want it for you, and you can’t cut corners … Even if you have more talent than anyone else.”

I want to tell him that I’m trying my best, but deep down I know that’s not true. I’ve been on auto-pilot ever since Canada.

I’ve done my best to forget about wasting my first time on an asshole, and I’ve spun through a few other first dates—landing on a guy who believes in romance for a change, but my skating has hit a robotic, complacent plateau.

“You want to continue reigning at number one?” My coach interrupts my thoughts. “You want to cement your legacy as only here to get first place and being the best skater to hit the ice since they invented this goddamn sport?”

“Yes.”

“Then tomorrow morning, I want to see you go out there and shut your eyes. Dig deep into your best thoughts of you and your boyfriend Francis—”