He didn’t reply.

Suddenly overwhelmed and emotionally raw, he clenched his teeth and walked off. Hawke’s brow furrowed when Borden approached.

“Let him go,” Borden instructed simply, trying to keep his voice level. “He isn’t himself. He’s had too much to drink.”

“Kate’s father or not, drunk or not, his intentions were to kill you,” Hawke snapped back angrily. “You can’t let him breathe another minute.”

Borden breathed heavily, trying to get his thoughts in order, but he felt like a noose had wrapped itself around his neck. He looked back at Doug, and then at Hawke’s stone-cold face. The walls around him started to close in, and he took off out of the warehouse, pacing back and forth.

A sharp twist in the centre of his being, and he dropped to his knees. He grabbed at his hair and pulled at it in frustration before dragging his nails down his face. But even the pain didn’t remove the ache inside of him. All he saw was Kate’s dead face. He couldn’t even look back at a time when she was smiling, not after witnessing that smiling face look at him lifelessly. His fingers dug into the ground, and his eyes continued to sting with unshed tears. FUCKING FUCK, why couldn’t he ever just cry for her? Why wouldn’t the tears fall?

He would never have seen that face had he never returned. She would have been alive. Doug was right. He was fucking right about everything.

Borden was a monster, and he deserved to die.

“He can’t live,” Hawke said from behind him. “You know it too, Borden. All the men know about him coming here. How will they respect you if you don’t put this man into the ground for trying to kill the most powerful man in New Raven?”

Borden stared up at the sky, as if waiting for it to offer him answers to this fucked up situation.

“It’s not personal,” Hawke continued. “Just get it done and we’ll take care of the rest.”

Borden exhaled slowly and rose to his feet. He felt like a man stripped of his armour. If he did this then he was lower than the fucking scum that killed Kate.

And was he?

He turned around, and nodding to Hawke, he strode back into the warehouse.

Twenty-Three

Emma

The ones at the top are always the worst, Emma. But you already knew that.

I was rattled by his words. I’d spent the rest of the day trying to understand the man I worked months for. I tried to imagine him as the villain he portrayed himself to be, and it alarmed me when I broke down into tears. Because he really was, and no amount of humanizing him would change that.

So why didn’t I stop feeling less for him then?

*

Borden wasn’t in the office the next day.

In fact, he didn’t show up the rest of the week. And the week after.

That was nine Borden-less days.

It was absolute agony. I suffered. Seriously suffered. The office felt so empty. My heart felt cold. I was pining for him. What would have caused him to just disappear like that? I tried asking Hawke where he was during lunch one day, but the asshole deliberately ignored me, telling me it wasn’t my business. Not even Moustache Man budged when I begged for some information.

It was just shit. I felt every minute of every hour pass, and then I went home, unhappy and confused with my emotions.

It was just… I’d been around that man non-stop for weeks on end. He’d filled up so much of my day. It wasn’t fair that he probably didn’t give a shit about me, and I was hanging by a thread, caring for his whereabouts like I cared for my next breath.

Shame that didn’t go both ways.

It was Friday night and I’d just returned from grocery shopping. Moustache Man had generously helped me bring up the bags to my apartment and left. I was in the process of putting things away when I heard a knock on the door.

I glanced at the time. 6:40pm. It was late-ish, but I wasn’t expecting anyone, and I certainly knew nobody in this building. I grabbed my switchblade from my purse and let the blade flip open. I cautiously walked to the door, straining to hear any sounds.

“Emma, it’s me.”

Borden.

My shoulders sagged in relief and my heart skipped a beat at his voice. I quickly unlocked the door. Opening it, I saw him standing there, jeans and a plain black tee on, with his arms against the doorway. For a brief second, I felt like I’d been injected with life again. Warmth flooded into my system, and then it crashed into the other side of me, the side that questioned why I would be happy with a man that didn’t tell me he was going to be absent for so long.

“Where have you been?” I demanded angrily.

“Are you going to let in?” he replied, calmly.

“Answer me first.”

“Let me in first, or stab me with your knife. Your call.”

I stiffened and looked down at my opened blade. Shit. I quickly closed it and widened the door for him. There was no use being childish and leaving him out. He stepped inside, brushing against me. God, he smelled good. That scent was his signature, and I’d been dying for it for days.

“Where have you been, Borden?” I repeated, shutting the door and turning to him.

“I had some work to get around to,” he said vaguely.

“I haven’t seen you in almost two weeks.”

“I know.”

I frowned at his nonchalant voice. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going to be away?”

“Does it matter now? I’m here.”

“Yes, it matters! You need to tell me, dammit. Where were you?”

He turned around, looking at me with his brow furrowed. “Why do I have to tell you where I was, Emma?”

“Because.”

“Because what?” he pressed, his face darkening. “Last I heard, you’re my employee, and I’m your boss, and I don’t have to tell you shit.”

I crossed my arms, feeling angrier than before. “I’m not just your employee, and you’re not just my boss.”

“No?” he leaned forward, staring at me hard. “Then what am I, Emma? Educate me.”

“You’re a man coming to my apartment because you want me. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here.”

He didn’t respond. He was suddenly very upset, and under the terrible dim lighting, I took notice of the black bags under his eyes. He ran a hand through his hair and suddenly moved to the front door. I quickly stood in his way.