This man had literally dug me up.

My heart tightened in my chest. “Thank you,” I whispered to him, gently.

His dark eyes met mine. “You don’t need to thank me.”

“You saved me.”

“You said that already.”

“You went on your hands and knees and dug me out.”

“Anyone would have done the same.”

“Are you seriously going to keep downplaying your rescue?”

His lips lifted barely. “Yeah, I am. Because I didn’t just save you for you. I saved you for Borden. He needs you.”

I scoffed. “Wow, what an awesome thing to tell someone. ‘Hey, I saved you not because I wanted you to have your life or anything, but because of your lover.’ Thanks, Hawke.”

He chuckled despite everything. “You’re a fucking gem, Emma. Sarcasm is the perfect response to have right now. Keep at it.”

I smiled for a second, and then a wave of emotion crashed into me at the same time. My smile went the other way, and in a heartbeat I choked on a cry and covered my face. I sobbed into my hands. And then I swallowed a huge lump and the faucet of tears turned off. I sucked in a breath and quickly wiped away my tears.

“You okay?”

“One minute I’m trying to be strong and the next I crumble.”

“You’re in shock. Your mind’s still trying to figure out what just happened. This is normal.”

I nodded and took long breaths. “You’re right about needing sleep. I’m just not functioning right now.”

“There’s a bathroom in the corner if you need to clean up. I’m sure there’s some of Ty’s clothes in the dresser that you can use until I send for yours. Try and sleep. I’ll be back in the morning with more information. You never know, Emma. Borden might not have gotten taken. He’s a resilient fucker. Maybe he’s kicking around somewhere.”

He got up and stood in front of me for a few moments. He stared at me, as if unsure if I would be okay on my own. I just nodded at him once more. I’d be okay. He turned around and left the room. The second the door closed, I buried my face into the nearby pillow and sobbed again.

I was not okay.

*

After my sob-fest, I inched into the bathroom warily. Thankfully, with a girl occupying the room, the bathroom wasn’t filthy. I didn’t know what I was expecting to find in a clubhouse bathroom, but it wasn’t pristine tile walls, pink bath mat and an endless combination of beauty products in a neat row along the counter.

I almost smiled. Almost. This Ty girl was a clean freak, and you’re only a clean freak in a biker clubhouse when you’re trying to get your mind off something or, judging by the pink in her cheeks at the mention of Hector, someone.

I turned the water on and stripped. I glanced briefly at the mirror before I stepped into the stall. I was filthy. My entire body was coated with bruises and deep scratches. My face was a mess. There was a giant blackening bruise around my eye. I was covered in soil top to bottom, and it sprinkled off of me, destroying the white bathroom with dark brown smudges.

I stepped inside and let the water wash over me. I didn’t think in that moment, nor did I feel. I just stood there, empty, trying my hardest not to let the images of Graeme lying in a pool of his blood in.

I’ll never talk to Graeme again. I will never see him alive again. I will never go to work and irritate the shit out of him. He’s dead. Just like that.

The second I felt my chest tightening, I took another deep breath in. Then I quickly washed myself. I didn’t care about what I was washing. I just squirted body wash in the palm of my hand and slid it over every inch of my body, determined to get it done so I could get out. I didn’t bother with my hair. I was on the verge of another meltdown. I quickly turned the water off and got out, grabbing a pink towel off a hook. I wrapped myself in it and hurried to the bed. I collapsed and crawled under the covers, throwing them over my head.

It was a miracle that I fell asleep.

*

I opened my eyes when a body sat down on the edge of the bed. Every inch of me was sore. I didn’t forget about last night, not even for a split second, as I regained consciousness. I was sure I’d slept for many hours. My eyes were still begging for sleep, and my body was more responsive. Emotionally I felt like a shell, and I knew it was Hawke beside me, so I waited for him to deliver the heart pounding news.

“There’s no sign of Borden.”

I didn’t think it was possible, but my heart sank even further in my chest. I closed my eyes again, waiting for sleep to come. When I slept, everything disappeared for a while. But I wasn’t fortunate this time. Borden’s face flashed before my eyes.

Didn’t he just tell you he loved you?

“What are we going to do?” I finally asked.

“Keep looking,” Hawke said. “It’s just…we don’t know where to fucking look.”

“There are no witnesses?”

“If there are, nobody’s stepping forward.”

“Someone has to know something.”

“I know.”

“Well figure it out then! You’re bikers, right? Don’t you beat people and take names?”

When Hawke didn’t answer, I threw the covers off of me and sat up. He looked at me and then quickly looked away, his jaw tensing.

“What?” I grated out. “What is it?”

“You’re not wearing anything, Emma.”

I looked down at my bare body. I waited for that humiliating feeling to come rushing through, but there was nothing.

“Sorry for dirtying our bubble of modesty, Hawke,” I mocked, throwing the covers over my chest. “How inconsiderate of me.”

He set his elbows on his knees and ran both hands over his long black hair. He grabbed a chunk of it and squeezed. “Quit being short with me, Emma. I’m fucking trying right now, alright? I’ve been out there for twelve hours. I’ve rounded all the men, questioned them to hell and back, and now the members of the club are doing a search. It’s not over.”

Just as he said that the bedroom door opened, and Hector stepped in, not giving a shit that he might be intruding. Talk about lack of privacy in this place. He didn’t look angry anymore, but he wasn’t happy either.

“I’ve just made some calls,” he stated, looking at me. “Everyone’s on the look-out. We’ll be snatching more of Mulligan’s men over the next couple days. They’ll get everything out of them and hopefully find his body.”