Hector’s eyes flickered to mine very briefly, but I caught it just the same. Something lurked in those dark irises, something that suddenly made my chest constrict.

With a tight voice, he finally replied, “She stays.”

I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding, and Graeme visibly relaxed. Borden nodded once and sat up straight again.

“Good,” he said, his voice clearing up, the rage slipping away. “Now let’s talk business.”

Whatever tension there was vanished in a blink of an eye… except the tension within me – that only worsened.

There, in front of me, they talked business, and it was there, I realized, I’d just been pulled into a separate world, one Borden had worked hard never to let me into.

I didn’t know what to think, and frankly, I was too frightened to.

*

They’d spoken for over an hour. About money, dates, the goings-on at the port, the cartel the MC kicked their drugs to, and every fucking illegal thing under the sun you can think of. I was in a state of shock, wanting to block out their words and drift away in thought. But I couldn’t do it. I listened to every single thing they spoke about, enough to know that that Borden did a number of shocking deals on the side. From loaning money to orchestrating connections for hits, the list went on.

He was also a launderer. I pieced it together myself only because Hector tried to bring him into the deals. Borden refused and said he had no interest in money. It hit me all of a sudden. He was laundering his own money, bleeding it into his businesses so it went unnoticed. It explained why he would come here and start buying everything up so quickly. The one thing that wasn’t brought up was how Borden made his initial money when he returned five years ago, and Hector either already knew or didn’t care to.

Secrets seemed to be well respected in the criminal world. There was no itch on either side to uncover them. Borden didn’t need to know why Hector needed the port. Didn’t care to ask what was going to be coming in. It was like the less he knew, the better.

Then it was about me and my protection. All Borden had to do was snap his fingers and the bikers would deliver me to their clubhouse under their strict protection. Borden made it clear that if I was touched in any way, or hurt by any of the “savages” that he would cut ties straight away. Hector agreed, though I could tell it was difficult for him to. Yeah, because it was so fucking hard to babysit me in their little fucking nasty ass clubhouse and leave me untouched, right? Never mind that I had no say in the matter, or that I’d get absolutely no enjoyment being there whatsoever.

I kind of did feel like a piece of property. I was an item in the biker’s eyes that would be moved around places when the time came, and Borden didn’t make it any better by going along with it. By the time all was said and done, Hector’s annoyances disappeared. He was visibly relaxed. He stood up from the chair and said, “Now that’s all sorted out, how about we fucking move on from this shit and have some fun?”

“Go on,” Borden told him, dismissively. “You can’t fuck up my club more than it already is. I’ll be here –”

“Fuck no,” Hector interrupted, shaking his head adamantly. “We just made a deal to end all deals. This is a time for celebration, and the men will want to see you for this. It’s history for our club. You have no idea the kind of pressure we’ve been under. You may be a mean fucker, but you know better than anyone else you have to nurture a good business relationship in order for it to work.”

Borden exhaled slowly, the exhaustion in his eyes showing. “Alright, then.”

Hector was satisfied, and it wasn’t until we were out the door, Borden’s hand gripping mine, that I realized why he’d been eager to keep me inside that office.

*

The club had been turned upside down. It was pandemonium at its finest. There were bikers everywhere. Drinking. Arguing. Laughing. Feeling up the dozens of half-naked women, some with their breasts hanging out, while talking casually to one another. Some of the women really enjoyed it, smiling at the attention, encouraging the intimacy. Others weren’t even mentally there, their eyes glazed, staring off into space while hands invaded every inch of their bodies.

I was nowhere near a prude. I’d seen this sort of thing from time to time growing up, and I treated it with a shrug on the shoulder. I was full blown desensitized. I’d never reacted, never really cared, because kids during my teenage years did all kinds of rambunctious over-the-top shit – myself included. So I really shouldn’t have been so surprised by this, but my body cringed involuntarily anyway. All of it felt sleazy and icky. I caught Hector’s eyes on me, noticing my reaction with this smug look in his eye. I glared back, cursing him with my eyes, but that only seemed to feast on his ego, until I could do nothing but turn away entirely. It was becoming habitual at this point, the whole act of looking away from his sexist ass.

I could feel Borden’s anger rolling off of him, and his hand around mine tightened. He growled orders at Graeme, and suddenly the man was standing on the other side of me, keeping me boxed in between both of them. I found it slightly ironic that Borden would be protecting me from bikers he was now depending on to keep me safe if the situation arose. I almost wanted to say something about it.

“When they’re drunk, they’re not very manageable,” Graeme suddenly told me. “But they are very friendly when you’re on their side.”

He was right. The second Hector announced to them their deal had gone through, the men were infinitely more approachable. None of them paid me any attention as they greeted Borden, and they did so very mindful of their behaviour. I felt my body loosen in relief. But Borden’s grip around my hand didn’t slacken. He seemed more charged, his jaw locked tight, his eyes hard. I think it really dawned on him what he’d just done.

He looked like a man who’d just sold his soul to the devil.

And it felt like it was all my fault.

Four

Emma

Cold.

That’s what I was.

Just…cold.

I was thankful to escape the club after a brief walk around with Borden. It was a silent ride back. I didn’t look at him as Graeme drove us to his place, but I could feel his eyes on me, burning me. I knew if I met them, I’d feel that pulsing desire I had for him, and right now it felt wrong to feel that way.

I feared him, and at the same time, my heart was heavy with need for him. I was so conflicted, mostly because I knew how wrong it was for me to care for him. Tonight was the first time I’d seen beyond the curtain of his…activities. He’d let me in, just like that, and it was so purposeful that I had to wonder what his motives were.