I expected to feel some kind of panic, but a strange sense of rightness filled my chest. Something my father had told me weeks ago, when I’d just learned that Jade was expecting, popped into my head, and standing in the home we would soon be living in made it seem so much more real now.

If you looked ahead ten years from now, and saw Jade standing next to you, and if you know without a shadow of a doubt that you’d put up with all the hardships that life throws at you if it meant waking up next to her, then you know.

The scary part was not that we were starting this part of our lives together so soon, but rather that I’d never been able to see this kind of life with anyone else. Knowing she was my future made the fear of not being a good partner, or good father less daunting.

Because she made me better, and she made me want to deserve the life I’d spent years chasing and was finally getting a taste of.

Chapter 15

Jade

You love me, but I want to feel like you want me

I dropped onto our sofa with a sigh, and brought my hands to rest on my growing belly. Kennedy and Grady had taken me to a spa, as per Reid’s orders, where I was pampered within an inch of my life. I felt so relaxed, and so blissfully content, and I reveled in the feeling. It wouldn’t be long before it was all uprooted again, and I was forced to adjust to yet another one of life’s many changes.

I smiled when I felt that familiar fluttering beneath my hands, a reminder that not all the changes ahead had to be bad.

Kennedy sat down beside me, her legs crossed, and grinned down at her phone.

“If you are sexting with Dane right now, I will throw your phone away,” I said, twisting my head to face her.

“Just because you’re not getting any doesn’t mean I have to be celibate,” she replied with a laugh. “And if you’re so frustrated, then you should talk to Reid about that.”

I groaned. “Every time I try to initiate anything he gently turns me down. I’m starting to think the thought of having sex with me repulses him.”

“I highly doubt that,” she snickered. “Considering your current, uh, condition.”

“True,” I relented. “But what if he doesn’t want to have sex with me because I look too big? Or what if he’s put off by this,” I gestured towards my baby bump.

“You’re being ridiculous Jade. He can’t keep his hands off you, or your stomach. I’m sure he’s holding off for a reason.”

Until we buy a damn house, I thought, thinking back to our conversation two weeks ago. Since then we hadn’t spoken much about his plans, but Kennedy had finally come clean about moving in with Dane.

As emotional as it was, we knew it was going to happen eventually. That only left Ashley, and by the looks of it, Chase was considering moving in with her. They were spending the break in New York with Ashley’s family, and according to Grady that meant his brother was “tits over ass in love” – his words. I was happy for them, as I was for Kennedy and Dane, but some days I still felt overwhelmed. Or hungry. If I wasn’t screaming obscenities at someone, I was crying, and if I wasn’t crying, I was eating. If this was how pregnancy was going to be for the remainder of my term then Reid was having his balls cut off before we started building his “football team” family.

I knew I was being ridiculous, but every time Reid turned me down, it stung a little more. It made me feel undesirable, and unattractive, and it infuriated me. I’d never in my life felt any of those things, and I shouldn’t have felt them now just because I was almost six months pregnant.

“Maybe he’s getting it elsewhere,” I huffed sarcastically. “It would explain a lot.”

“Will you listen to yourself?” Asked Kennedy, her voice high and filled with incredulity. “Pregnancy has done a number on you, and I have no idea why. Even with that belly you look stunning, and I have no reason to believe Reid would ever not want you, pregnant or not. The man is infatuated with you, and have you seen his face light up when he gets to feel your baby move?”

I shrugged. “Doesn’t mean he wants me wants me.”

Kennedy shook her head, and I could tell she was exasperated with me.

“You really need to stop worrying,” she said, squeezing my hand. “He loves you. Anybody who comes near the two of you can see that.”

I gave her a small smile, and gave up the argument.

The front door burst open, and Grady filled the doorway. He was out of breath, and flustered, and not how we left him after our relaxing day at the spa.

“Did you run here?” I asked, taking in his disheveled appearance.

“Yes,” he puffed out, resting his hands on his knees. “I found....out....what...that....Jesus I need to start going to gym.” He straightened, and brushed his blond hair from his forehead.

“Right,” he continued. “I found out what that fucking Hobbit did in Cabo to get her face busted up.”

Kennedy and I looked at each other, and then looked back at Grady. “Well?” Kennedy prompted. I sat up, unable to shake the uneasiness that came whenever Stella popped up in conversation. We hadn’t seen her again since our last confrontation in the cafeteria but I knew in my gut that it wasn’t the last of her we’d see, especially if she still had her sights set on getting Reid back.

“That was months ago,” I said. “Do we need to talk about it now?”

Grady quirked a brow, and popped out his hip. “Of course we do. I have been trying to find out what the psycho did, and my bartender friend finally came through for me. He asked around, and some of the staff said they saw her go into the bathroom. When she walked out, she looked like she’d had her face rearranged.”

“So someone beat her up in the bathroom?” Kennedy asked skeptically. “That makes no sense.”

“That’s because she did it to herself,” replied Grady. “Security footage showed that no one entered the bathroom before her for at least thirty minutes, and no one entered after her either. So she was alone, and that can only mean she did it to herself.”

“I always knew she had a few screws loose,” remarked Kennedy, “But I think she might be missing a whole toolbox.”

“You’re right on that one, honey bee, and to think Reid believed Jade did it to her.”

I swallowed, and shifted uncomfortably. I didn’t want to relive that night, or any other night that followed because as far as I was concerned, it was over. So why was it bothering me so much? She wasn’t a threat to me, and Reid had made it clear that they were no longer together.

“Are you going to tell Reid?” Asked Kennedy. I realized she was talking to me, and I simply shook my head. “There’s no point. That’s over and done with, and she’s out of his life. We don’t need a trip down memory lane.” I didn’t intend to snap, but my voice was harsh, and I was irritated with the conversation.”

“Are you okay, tootsie roll?” Asked Grady, his brows furrowed.

“Yes,” I lied. “Just tired.”

It was only four p.m but I was in fact tired after our day in town. And I was missing Reid. I thought he’d be home by now, and thoughts of Stella only added to my newfound insecurity.

You’re being silly, I scolded myself. Kennedy looked at me with sympathy and understanding.