“I understand completely, and my belief system isn’t any different to me.”

After a period of quiet, Marissa took both of his hands. “If I go to the sex club tomorrow night, are you going to think less of me?”

“God, no.”

She nodded. “And assuming you someday get comfortable with it, if I suck you off, are you going to look down on me?”

He laughed in a short burst. “I’d probably worship you even more.”

“Will you still think I’m a good girl?”

“You know … actually, yes.” He sounded relieved. “Yeah, I mean, I’ve never thought about it before … but I’ll absolutely still love you.”

“So you’re able to get past the old thinking in regard to me, right?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Like, you have a thought, you considered it, and you put it aside, right?”

“Yeah.” He exhaled. “Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m doing.”

“So … why can’t you do the same with your sister. Have the old thought. Consider it against everything you know about her and the way she was, and layer onto it your core belief that the blame never goes on the victim no matter what she’s wearing or anything like that … and I’m willing to bet you’ll reject the idea that your sister contributed in any way to what was a horrific, inexcusable crime against an otherwise innocent girl. I’ll bet that you resolve that on your own, and probably never dwell on that part of the pain again.”

He blinked once. Twice.

“Forget the blow job,” he said.

“I’m sorry, what?”

Butch stared up at her with such complete devotion, it was as if she had put the world at his feet. “I think I just fell even more in love with you. And I didn’t think … I couldn’t fathom how that would even be possible.”

Sure enough, his bonding scent became a roar in the room, and his hazel eyes got so full of emotion and reverence that she felt a little giddy.

Taking his face in her hands, she kissed him. “This is so much better than before.”

“Before what?”

“If I’m going to be on a pedestal”—she pressed her mouth to his again—“I want to be there as your perfect partner, not because you think I’m the perfect good girl.”

Her hellren started to smile. “You got it. And you got me.”

As he kissed her back, she thought about what happily-ever-afters were about, and decided that true love didn’t mean effortless, and ever-after wasn’t about cruise control. You started with the attraction, and then you opened your heart and your soul—but all that, which was no small thing, just got you to first base.

There were many, many other trips to take to deeper levels of greater acceptance and understanding.

That was where you found the happy. And the ever-after was the work you were always willing to put in to stay close, to learn, and to grow as people together.

“I love you,” he said as he wrapped his arms around her. “God, I love you.”

Leaning away a little, she smiled and traced her fingertips over his face. She wanted to say those sacred words back to him, but somehow they didn’t go far enough.

So she said the one thing that would mean even more to him. “Oh, honey … go, Sox.”

Throwing his head back, Butch laughed so hard the sound rattled the glass door of the office. And as she smiled back at him, she thought, Yup, I love you could be said in many different combinations, couldn’t it.

Chapter Thirty-six

It was amazing how a television could turn anything into a proper lounge.

Not that Craeg was watching The Big Bang Theory reruns that were on it. Still, he was glad a doggen had come in and set the thing up in the corner because without the pleasant chatter in the background? Sitting in the same room with both Axe and Paradise would have done his nut in completely.

He needed something, anything to keep his mind off of her.

Naturally, as he stared at the fan of cards in his hand, he had no idea what he was looking at. Across the table, however, Axe hadn’t had that problem—which was why, after how many rounds of gin rummy, he owed the bastard fifty bucks.

“Well, I guess I’ll head to bed,” Paradise said from over on the couch.

Right. It was amazing how, when a certain female spoke a certain combination of words, it was a guaranteed fucking hard-on.

So yes, he was subtly rearranging himself under the table—before the circulation into his femoral artery was cut off completely by his erection.

Meanwhile, Paradise uncoiled herself from her tuckedin position and Craeg did a fantastic job of not watching her. At least not directly watching her: His peripheral vision tracked every step she took across the tiled floor to the door, and particularly noted the way she bent across one of the three round tables to grab her satchel.

“Day,” Axe muttered as he shifted cards around.

Craeg grunted.

When the door eased shut, he wondered exactly how long he had to wait before he could leave—

“You can go now,” Axe said with a smirk. “I’m good with solitaire—and there’s some porn I’m going to watch. Which is another, more fun version of solitaire.”

“I’m not that tired.”

“Yeah, I know.” The guy tossed back a laugh. “And listen, do me a favor—don’t disrespect me by trying to pretend. After that show you put on in the weight room, how stupid do you think I am?”