“That was delicious,” she stretches and puts the tray on the floor. Scooting closer to me, her tongue whips out and swipes her lips. Our eyes collide and Huntley’s crawling into my lap.

“I’ve been thinking,” she whispers, licking my neck. Even in a troubled mood, my body responds and I harden beneath my sweat pants.

“Oh no, that’s never a good thing,” I tease. My hands grip Huntley’s hips and slide down to cup her butt. She pushes down into my lap and bites my shoulder. Holy Fuck. Her hips move, side to side, up and down.

She’s doing it on purpose.

“Ok, ok,” I breathe heavily. “Tell me what you were thinking.”

“I hear make-up sex is the best kind,” she breathes into my ear and nibbles on my ear lobe. I swallow hard.

“We’ll have to test that theory,” I stop her hips before I explode. “Tonight.”

She pouts and I pull her bottom lip into my mouth. I nibble it lightly and then lick it. “I have to go to class.”

“Ok,” she smiles at me, “I’ll just have to have a date with my B.O.B in the shower then. Picture that while you’re in your Business Finance class later.”

She hops off my lap and I gape at her back while she walks into the bathroom. “That’s not fair,” I grunt. “You’ll pay for that.”

I hear her laugh before the shower turns on. I need to get out of here before I give in and join her. I dress quickly and give Huntley a good-bye kiss before grabbing my bag and walking to campus. Last night still weighs on my mind and only adds to my mounting irritation. I can’t even begin to process everything.

After my first class ends, I have an hour off before my next so I make a stop at the coffee shop. My mood is in need of a boost and a caffeine induced pick-me-up sounds perfect. I order a coffee with an extra shot of espresso and cream and take a set at a table by the window. The people walking past all fascinate me and provide a temporary distraction from the chaos in my head.

A book slams onto the table. I’m so distracted that I almost jump and spill what’s left of my coffee. Brody sits down, grinning. Jackass.

“Someone’s a little jumpy today,” he remarks, sans greeting.

“Sorry,” I grumble, “Rough night.”

I flag down the waitress and order another coffee. “How’s Demi?”

Brody exhales. “She’s fine. Last night was about ten shades of fucked up. I wanted to break something when I watched Demi hug Tommy. We fought about it on the way home, but that ended up being the best angry-hate sex of my life.”

“Whoa, that’s too much information bro,” I groan.

“Oh please, don’t be such a wuss,” Brody chides. “How’s Huntley? Did you guys talk last night after we saw Haley at the bar?”

I rub my hand down my face, suddenly feeling beyond exhausted. “She’s ok, I think. We spoke about a lot of things and I was a total asshole.”

Brody frowns at me. “What happened?”

“I accused her of cheating.” I berate myself all over again. Hearing it from my mouth makes me realize how ridiculous it really sounds.

His eyebrows shoot up and he lets out a low whistle. “Why would you do that?”

“We saw her ex’s car in the parking lot yesterday, and after seeing Haley last night I lost it. I told her about Emilie.”

“That’s huge,” Brody exhales. “How did she react?”

“She surprised me in every way. I expected her to run like hell after I told her everything about my past, but she just listened and when I woke up this morning she was still there.” Her ability to forgive me, after being the worlds’ biggest douchebag, has me completely stumped.

Brody looks away thoughtfully for a moment and then turns his discerning gaze back on to me. “Gray, you have to realize she’s not Haley. If she chooses to stick around even after hearing about all the shit that has messed you up then that should tell you something.”

I stare at my best friend in bemusement. “I’ve never heard you say something so,” I pause, searching for the right word. “Insightful.”

He laughs, “Screw you!”

“Should I phone Demi and thank her?” I joke.

His expression changes and I see it. I see the love and adoration he has for Demi written all over his face, and he does nothing to hide it. “What can I say,” he smiles, “I’ve found the girl who puts up with my shit constantly, and still loves me anyway. We fight about the dumbest things and she pushes every one of my damn buttons. But when I think about what my life would be like without her, it kills me. I can’t do it.”

This time I’m speechless. My only response to what he said is understanding. Because I get it.

** ** ** ** **

I spend the rest of the day trapped in my own thoughts. My lack of focus doesn’t go unnoticed during football practice and I decide to leave early. I contemplate going back to my place instead of Huntley’s, recognizing my need for some space. But before I know what I’m doing, I’m walking into Huntley’s apartment. I can’t stand the idea of being away from her, not for a single night. It’s unhealthy to need someone so much but I right now I don’t care. My need to be near her, to feel her, to hold her, overshadows everything else.

Huntley’s apartment is quiet. Usually she’ll be playing her guitar or listening to music, but when I walk into her bedroom, she’s curled up and fast asleep. I quietly undress and decide to take a shower. The hot water and steam relax my body and the tension in my muscles fades. My mind goes blank and I take a chance to enjoy the respite from the mental punishment I inflicted on myself all day.

I don’t hear the bathroom door open, or the shower door. But I feel her. Her hands snake around my waist and her fingers trace every groove in my abdomen. My breathing deepens, like I’m breathing her in. Maybe I am. I turn around slowly, stopping when our bare chests are crushed together. The way she’s looking at me makes me want to cry, because I don’t deserve it. It sears my soul and leaves an imprint of her that will never go away. The mark she’s left on me is invisible, but no less permanent than if it was a tattoo. I feel her nipples pebble and my cock hardens, and as much as I want to make love to her right here in this shower, the way we’re touching now is more than I can handle. How we’re looking at each other is more than I can handle.

“Are you ok?” she whispers. Her sweet voice crawls over my skin and embeds itself into my memory. I will subconsciously compare every voice to hers and then won’t be surprised when they come up short.

I shake my head no and lower my head down to hers until our lips touch. Hers are soft and wet from the water. They move with mine and she opens up to me completely when my tongue swipes her bottom lip delicately. When her nails dig into my shoulder muscles, pulling us until we’re one body, I shiver. My hands slide down her back until they come to rest on her hips and I feel her suck in a breath when my hard length pulses between our bellies. My mouth leaves hers, soliciting a whimper when I lick down her neck. I suck and nibble until we’re both shaking. I rest my forehead on her shoulder and wait for my breathing to even out. The last thing I want Huntley to think is that sex will ‘fix’ all the cracks inside me. Only her love will do that.