With my bag in hand, I stopped at the end of the hall between two doors. I pushed the one on the right, seeing a room with more stacks of boxes, a stripped bed, and a nightstand. The door Tyler said was his was closed, so I twisted the knob and walked through, the door hitting a stack of boxes and knocking all but two of them to the ground.

“Shit,” I hissed, dropping my bag to reassemble them.

I wiped my brow, and then walked across the room to open a window. A fresh breeze blew into my face, and I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath. I had been banished from the only place I’d felt at home, cast away from the only people who felt like family. I was alone inside a dusty storage house of a man whose dick I was more familiar with than his hopes and dreams.

I rested my elbow on the windowsill, unable to fight the fluttering of my eyes. From that vantage point, I could see the mountains that huddled around the barracks. My eyes filled with tears, and they spilled out and over my cheeks, unrelenting until my entire body began to shake. I wanted to be in that rickety building with cold showers and uncomfortable beds so bad it hurt. I sniffed a few times and wiped my nose with my wrist, licking my lips, wishing for another five or six rounds of vodka tonic—hell, I’d have been happy with a twelve-pack of cheap beer, anything to make the pain go away.

I leaned against the wall, trying to keep the landscape in sight, but the only thing to do was to thirst for what I couldn’t have, and close my eyes.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Jojo clicked her seat belt and pulled away from the curb, mostly silent as she drove me to the MountainEar. Just a block away, she finally sighed and began to speak, but thought better of it. Her silence was welcomed. I knew what she was going to say, and she knew that I knew what she was going to say. People spoke too much and said nothing, which was the only conversation Jojo and I would have if she hadn’t closed her mouth.

She parked and gestured for me to follow her in. “Desk is still there. You remember how to do this?”

“I don’t see Wick’s truck,” I said.

“He’ll be in later. He has a meeting with some vendors.”

“For Turk’s?” I asked, swallowing. My throat begged for the burn of whiskey—anything to quiet the craving I’d had since my eyes opened that morning.

“Yeah. You didn’t go straight to bed, did you?”

“I tried.”

“You fucked up. Believe me, I’m not excusing what you did. But Daddy has been getting a lot of calls about your feature. I bet the Forestry Service is, too.” She opened the door, and I followed her inside, pausing until she switched on all the lights.

“Chief was right to make me go home. I wasn’t of any use there, and I made him look bad. I wouldn’t blame him if he banned me from ever shadowing them again.”

I walked into my office and Jojo followed, leaning her platinum locks against the doorjamb. “Me neither. But I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t. When are they due back?”

“It’s a political fire. A lot of news stations covering it. They’ll be out the full fourteen days.”

She stood. “If there are a lot of stations covering, maybe I should go down there.”

Anger and jealousy ignited every vein in my body. Jojo had a family … She needed to stay the fuck away from mine. “They wouldn’t let me up there, Jojo, and I’m seasoned. I know their procedures and a little bit about fire behavior. No offense, but they’re not going to let you on the mountain.”

She winked at me. “When have I ever taken no for an answer?”

I forced a smile, glaring at the space she stood in before she rounded the corner to her desk. Just minutes later, I could hear her on the phone, squaring away the details of her coverage of the Alpine crew.

My eyes burned, but I willed away the tears, refusing to cry in front of Jojo. I typed in my password, feeling like the day I’d updated it was a lifetime ago—so full of hope that I was capable of change.

Jojo’s phone slammed, and she peeked around the doorway again. “Can you hold down the fort this week? I’m going south.”

“Are they going to let you cover the Alpines?”

She smirked. “They don’t know it yet, but yes. The Colorado Springs hotel, right?”

I nodded, holding a brave face until Jojo waved and the back door slammed shut. My face crumbled, and I covered my face with my hands, sucking in deep breaths.

It wasn’t so surprising that I had fucked up, but that I had ruined something for myself that I loved. That thought led me to Tyler, and I knew I was ruining that, too. There was a dark part of me that just couldn’t let myself be happy, and sabotaged anything good before I could lose it.

The phone warbled, and I sat up, cleared my throat, and picked up the receiver. “The MountainEar,” I said, my voice breaking a bit.

“How’s your first day back?” Tyler said. His deep, smooth voice made everything else disappear.

I wiped my wet cheeks, clearing my throat again. “It’s great. Home sweet home.”

“How’s the apartment?”

“It’s great. Thank you.”

“Did you go there?” he asked. I could almost see the look of disbelief on his face.

“Yeah. Yeah, I went there. You do have sheets on your bed, and they’re clean.”

He sighed. “Ellie…”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t know. I miss you like crazy. Being on the mountain, wreaking of smoke, exhausted and covered in dirt is my favorite place to be, but it’s not the same without you. Something’s missing now.”

“The sheriff?” I teased.

He breathed out a laugh. “I’m serious. I wrote you a letter. All the guys are giving me so much hell.”

“Taylor most of all, I’m sure.”

“The fire’s so close, we’re taking shifts and staying at the hotel.”

“You’re not sleeping at fire camp?”

“Nope. Taylor’s been taking off into town somewhere. I think there’s a girl.”

“There’s always a girl.”

“Not one intriguing enough to hang around during the few hours we have off from a fire.”

“You probably haven’t heard yet, but you will. Jojo’s on her way to cover the Alpines.”

“Jojo?” Tyler said her name with disdain. “Why?”