I clenched my jaw. “What’d she say?”

“She doesn’t feel.”

“What?” I lifted my head and sat forward. “What do you mean she doesn’t feel?”

“I mean exactly what I said. She told me that she turned her humanity off when her mother died. She turned it off, Brody.”

That wasn’t true. I felt her shiver under my touch. She laughed with me.

Then I remembered how she recounted the events of the day her mother died. How she didn’t cry or get angry. Even her reaction when she found out Matthew had been recording us was off. It wasn’t a reaction at all, as if . . . she had turned off her humanity.

I sank back in the chair.

“She told me that she doesn’t understand us. Those were her words.” His mouth twisted into a grimace as if he thought he should laugh at that but couldn’t. “She felt a tickle of humanity when it came to Finn, Abby, me. She said the only ones who made her feel alive were you, and Shiloh.” A sad smile lingered on his face. “Congratulations. You’re competing with a goddamn horse for her.”

He was right.

And just like that, I knew where she went.

“She has to be out there to survive. She won’t live if you take her away from here.”

I closed my eyes and lowered my head.

Another fucking person telling me that.

Fuck. I was telling myself that, but . . .

I looked up at him. “I can’t imagine life without her.”

“And you have a blooming career that will take you all over the world.”

I nodded. My head felt so fucking heavy. “And a goddamn horse will keep her from coming with me.”

“I’m sorry.” He actually sounded as if he meant it. “I truly am.”

I nodded, my chin falling to my chest. “Yeah.”

My insides were being seared.

I stood and cleared my throat, and even that goddamn hurt.

Matthew watched me, then stood with me. “What are you going to do? You fly out tomorrow, don’t you?”

“I have another day here.” After that, I was headed right to New Zealand to start filming my next movie.

“Then take it.”

“What?”

Matthew looked fierce as he said, “Take it. Take the day. Go find her. Make her need you as much as she needs that horse. Maybe then you’ll have a chance.” His voice went to a whisper. “Maybe then, but you’re going to have to fight for her.”

I was sure if I did a poll, everyone would tell me to leave her. Love her tonight, but then leave and forget her. As I left the house and continued past the barn to the wilderness beyond, I knew I wasn’t going to do any of that.

I couldn’t let her go. That was all I knew.

So, I went to find her.

Morgan

The herd left as soon as they heard him coming.

Shiloh waited, but finally, I motioned for her to go, and she did, just not before letting out a soft neigh and giving me a nip on my shoulders. She wasn’t happy, but neither was I.

How could someone be so torn? Be content in two different places but always be yearning for the other?

It wasn’t normal.

I wasn’t normal.

“Morgan!”

I was sitting on a rock, my knees pulled up with my elbows resting on them. I looked up and waited, and a few seconds and several suspicious crashes later, he fell through some foliage and landed on the grass clearing before my rock.

He looked up, saw my shoes, and craned his neck farther back.

His eyes found mine. “Oh. Hey.” He sat back and combed his fingers through his hair. “Fancy meeting you here.”

I rolled my eyes. “I wanted to be with the herd toni—”

“I’m leaving tomorrow.”

I stopped, looked at him a moment, and then blinked. “What?”

“We’re done shooting. My plane leaves tomorrow night at midnight.”

I swallowed over a knot. “For New Zealand?”

He nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. “Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was going to tonight. You dipped out before I could.”

The knot was still lodged smack dab in my throat. I should’ve realized. I should’ve been prepared.

I felt like someone slapped me in the face.

“I see.”

I looked down at the rock but had to close my eyes. My head was swimming.

“Thought you said you wanted to be with the herd.”

I didn’t look up as I waved in their general direction. “You scared them off.”

“Oh.”

I opened my eyes but still couldn’t look. My throat shouldn’t be burning, but it was.

I knew he was going, but I hadn’t thought about it. I hadn’t allowed myself to.

Why do I suddenly feel like I’m ten years old again?

“Hey.” Brody’s voice dropped to a husky whisper. He scooted closer, his legs extending out by the rock as he peered up at me. He tugged on one of my hands. “What’s going on?”

I shook my head.

I didn’t cry, but this was the second time I felt tears that night.

I didn’t cry, right?

“You knew I’d be going.” He pulled back, resting his hands behind him to help prop him up. He kept his legs by the rock. One foot was pulled toward him.