Page 9
His smile lit up his eyes. "I can practically hear you thinking."
My cheeks got instantly warm, especially since Stark did have the ability to sense my emotions. "You're not supposed to be listening in unless I'm in danger."
His grin turned cocky and his eyes sparkled mischievously. "Then don't think so loud. But you're right. I shouldn't have been listening in 'cause what I was getting from you was the opposite of what I'd call danger."
"Smart-ass," I said, but I couldn't help grinning back.
"Yep, that's me, but I'm your smart-ass."
Stark held out his hand to me as I reached his side, and our fingers twined together. His touch was warm--his hand strong and steady. This close to him I could see that he still had shadows under his eyes, but he wasn't as deadly pale as he had been.
"You're yourself again!" "Yeah, it's taken me a while; my sleep's been weird--not as restful as it should be, but it's like a switch flipped inside me today and I finally recharged."
"I'm glad. I've been so worried about you." As I said it I realized how true that was, and I also blurted, "I've missed you, too."
He squeezed my hand and tugged me closer to him. All of his cocky kidding evaporated. "I know. You've felt distant and scared. What's up with that?" I started to tell him he was wrong--that I was just giving him some space to get well, but the words that formed and slipped from my lips were more honest.
"You've been hurt a lot because of me."
"Not because of you, Z. I've been hurt because that's what Darkness does-- it tries to destroy those of us who fight for Light."
"Yeah, well, I wish Darkness would pick on someone else for a while and let you rest."
He bumped me with his shoulder. "I knew what I was getting into when I swore myself to you. I was cool with it then--I'm cool with it now--and I'll still be cool with it fifty years from now. And, Z, it really doesn't make me sound very manly and Guardianlike when you say Darkness is `picking on' me."
"Look, I'm being serious. You want to know what's up with me, well, I've been worried that you might have been hurt too bad this time." I hesitated, fighting unexpected tears as I finally understood. "So bad that you weren't gonna get well. And then you would leave me, too."
Heath's presence was so tangible there between us that I half expected to see him step from the grove and say Hey there, Zo. No crying. You snot way too much when you cry. And of course that thought made it even harder for me not to bawl.
"Listen to me, Zoey. I'm your Guardian. You're my queen; that's more than a High Priestess, so our bond is even stronger than a regular Oath Sworn Warrior's." I blinked hard. "That's good, 'cause it feels like bad stuff keeps trying to tear me away from everyone I love."
"Nothing will ever take me away from you, Z. I've sworn my oath on it." He smiled, and there was such confidence and trust and love in his eyes that he made my breath catch in my throat. "You'll never get rid of me, mo bann ri."
"Good," I said softly, leaning my head against his shoulder as he drew me inside the half circle of his arm. "I'm tired of the whole leaving thing."
He kissed my forehead, murmuring against my skin, "Yeah, me, too."
"Actually, I think the truth is that I'm tired. Period. I need to recharge, too." I looked up at him. "Would it be okay with you if we stayed here? I-I just don't want to leave and go back to ... to..." I hesitated, not sure how to put what I was feeling into words.
"To everything--the good and the bad. I know what you mean," said my Guardian. "It's cool with Sgiach?"
"She said we could stay as long as my conscience lets me," I said, smiling a little wryly.
"And right now my conscience is definitely letting me."
"Sounds good to me. I'm in no rush to get back to all the Neferet drama that's gotta be waiting for us."
"So we stay for a while?"
Stark hugged me. "We stay until you say to go."
I closed my eyes and rested in Stark's arms, feeling like a huge weight had been taken off me. When he asked, "Hey, would you do something with me?" my response was instant and easy: "Yep, anything."
I could feel him chuckling. "That answer makes me want to change what I was gonna ask you to do." "Not that kind of anything." I gave him a little shove, even though I was feeling waves of relief that Stark was definitely acting like Stark again.