I wish she’d either come out of the clouds completely or just disappear for good. I’m tired of being held hostage by her. I’m sure Asher is too, even though he’ll never admit it.

“Come outside with me, and we’ll walk around and say hi to everyone together, okay?” He slides his hand down my arm, all the way to my fingertips. It makes me think of the day I met him—in the hospital, not when we were kids—how he held my hand and told me he was my husband. His touch comforted me. It plowed through the fear and confusion I was drowning in. The devastation in his eyes and the emptiness that crept over me when I pulled my hand away from his that day were proof enough that he was, in fact, my husband.

His touch was—and still is—the only thing that makes me feel like I can take my next breath, and yet at the same time, takes my breath away.

Nodding, I do my best to smile. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

Our backyard is usually quiet and tranquil, but tonight it’s energized with voices, music, and laughter. The bonfire has filled the air with the smoky, woodsy scent of autumn. Tor is at the grill, which is piled with burgers, steaks, hot dogs, veggie kabobs, and corn. He smiles at us as we walk past him on the deck and down the stairs to the yard.

An older, good-looking couple approaches us first, and I recognize them as Asher’s parents, who visited me several times at the hospital.

“You look beautiful.” Aria leans in to kiss my cheek.

“Thank you. I wanted to tell you that I’ve been reading my old journals, and I read how supportive you both were when I got pregnant, how you let me live with you, and I wanted to thank you.”

I’m getting much better at saying “my,” “me,” “mine,” and “I” instead of referring to myself as Ember.

“Aww, sweetheart, that was so long ago. You don’t have to thank us,” Ronnie says. “You’ve always been like a daughter to us. We’re just so glad you’re back. You two better come over for dinner soon.”

“We will,” Asher promises. “Speaking of food, make sure you eat. Tor brought over a ton of food.”

He leads me across the yard to a group of three couples standing by the willow tree, and they all break out into huge smiles as we get closer.

Asher introduces me to two of his brothers, Storm and Talon, and his cousin, Lukas, and their wives. We chat for a few minutes, and then we move on to meet another brother, Mikah, their sister, Rayne, and another cousin, Vandal.

My anxiety slowly starts to dissipate with each conversation. Everyone is laid back—just a bunch of regular guys, even though they’re all popular rock stars. All the girls are super sweet and down to earth. I feel somewhat better with the reminder that the girls didn’t know me before the accident. They became part of the family while I was “gone.”

After chatting for a while, Asher and I make our way back to the deck to get something to eat.

“You’re still here,” Tor teases, putting a veggie kabob on a plate for me. “Glad to see nobody scared you away.”

“Everyone is really nice,” I reply.

Tor grins at Asher. “I guess she didn’t meet Vandal?”

“She did. He’s in one of his better moods today.”

I look from Asher to Tor and raise my eyebrow. “What’s wrong with Vandal?”

Asher chuckles. “He’s just moody and not exactly the easiest guy to get along with sometimes.”

With our plates filled, we sit at an empty picnic table near the butterfly garden. As we eat, Asher points out people and tells me fun stories about them when they were all younger.

“You’re lucky to have such a big family and good friends,” I say.

He leans into me, bumping his shoulder affectionately into mine. “They’re your friends and family too.”

I look at them all wistfully—laughing so comfortably with each other. “I hope someday I remember them.”

I want to be like them—part of a family. Loved, carefree, and happy.

“I think you will, babe. Just keep thinking positive. Take one day at a time. The memories will come when they’re ready.”

“I just don’t understand how I can remember Teddy but not all these people here. Or still almost nothing about you.”

The corner of his mouth twitches, and he takes a sip of his iced tea. “I wish we knew.”

“Well, well, well…it’s true. It’s really you.” I hadn’t even noticed the tall woman with long, red hair walking toward us, but now she’s standing next to our table with her arms crossed over her chest, a smug smile on her face.

“This is Sydni,” Asher says. “One of your friends.”

“Oh, wow!” I say. “From high school?”

Sydni lets out a throaty laugh. “From high school, and the band, and your whole life basically. I was your best friend. Stand up and give me a hug, lemme get a look at you.”