She bursts into tears and sits up, throwing her arms around my neck, squeezing me like she never wants to let go, and I don’t want her to. Ever. I put my arm around her and slowly rub her back, trying to ignore the prominent points of her spine beneath my palm. When she finally untangles herself from me, she sits back and takes a deep breath. “I do trust you. It’s…it’s actually the only thing I know for sure.”

“That’s good. Really good.”

“I still want you to go on your tour. You need to do things for you. I like knowing you have a job,” she teases. “It’ll give me time to unboggle myself.”

It’ll kill me to leave her after I waited so long for her, and it feels incredibly wrong to go on tour like everything is great. But if it’s what she wants, I’ll force myself.

“I’m going to call you every day.” I decide I’m going to buy her a cell phone tomorrow.

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

She hasn’t leaned back against her stack of pillows yet. Her face is inches away from mine, her hands still on my arms.

“You look beautiful today,” I say softly. “Seeing you outside smiling, being so close to you, was the best date ever. I wanted to run away with you and forget this place.”

A shy smile spreads across her lips. “You’d really do that, wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah, I really would.”

Hesitantly, she leans forward and gives my cheek a quick kiss. “I hope I remember you someday.”

I cup her chin in my hand before she has a chance to move away.

“Me too.” I touch my lips softly to hers for just two seconds, then reluctantly release her. “Me too.”

Chapter Fifteen

Albany, New York. I can’t count how many times I’ve played here over the years. It only took us about four hours to get here, but I already feel like I’m a galaxy away from Ember.

“You doin’ okay?” Finn, the lead guitarist and ringleader of EverLust has found me sitting outside the tour bus, staring up at the sky with my cell phone in my hand, debating on whether I should send a text message to Ember or not.

I nod. “Yeah.”

He sits next to me on the bench, not waiting for an invite. Finn’s a lifelong friend of my cousin, Lukas, but he’s slowly becoming someone I consider a friend. I have my suspicions there’s something going on with him and my little sister, but that’s drama for another day.

“I know you don’t wanna be here, man.” He lights up a cigarette. “But we’re glad to have ya.”

“Thanks for letting me change my mind at the last minute.”

He exhales a cloud of smoke. “I kind of had a feeling you might. Lukas told me things have been up and down.”

“That’s an understatement.”

“I ain’t never been in love, so I don’t have a fuckin’ clue what you’re going through. But for what it’s worth, I hope it all works out.”

I stretch my legs out in front of me. “Thanks. I appreciate that.”

“They say time apart is good sometimes.”

I’ve already had way too much time apart, but I guess it doesn’t count if the other person didn’t realize it was happening because they were stuck in a friggin’ coma.

“I used to think that, but I don’t know what the fuck to believe anymore.”

“Life’s a fuckin’ roller coaster, man. There ain’t no way to get off unless the ride stops, right?” He stands and drops his cigarette, smashing it with his boot. “As long as the wheel’s moving, things can change. If it stops? I think that’s the end.” He slaps my shoulder and walks back toward the bus.

Back in New Hampshire, Ember is probably all settled in her new suite, watching television or reading before she goes to sleep. Today is the first day we haven’t seen or talked to each other, and she’s been on my mind nonstop.

I wonder if she’s thought about me or missed me at all.

Before I left for the tour, I surprised her with a new cell phone, and she acted more excited about it than I’ve seen her act over anything. Oddly enough, she remembers what a cell phone is but doesn’t remember ever having one herself. The things she does and doesn’t remember are puzzling. She can read and type, but she can’t tell time. She remembers what things are, like trees and coffee, but can’t remember her own thoughts about those things—like if she likes coffee or ever drank it.

All day I fought the urge to call or text her so I wouldn’t come off as pushy. I was hoping she’d contact me first, but here it is almost ten p.m., and other than a text from Kenzi earlier, my phone’s been dead silent.

Is this what dating is like? How the hell do people deal with this?