He laughs at me wiggling my socked feet as he carries me. “Feels good, huh?”

“It does.” No bed. No chair. No walls. No beeps and smells. Nothing but sun, blue skies, and fresh air.

And him.

He carries me over to a big oak tree, and without putting me down, he lowers himself onto his knees, then into a sitting position. Gently, he puts me down on the grass in front of him, between his long legs, and helps me lean my back against his chest.

“You okay?” he asks softly. “I know we’re close, but I can’t let you fall over.”

“It’s fine…thank you.” I’m breathless with emotion. Insecure about being so close to him. Excited to be sitting outside on the actual earth. Touched by his gentleness and thoughtfulness.

I run my hands over the grass. “It feels so nice.”

He keeps his arms protectively on either side of me, lightly pressing against mine. His body heat encompasses me, warming me. I feel safe.

Cherished.

I squint up at the sun. “I don’t ever want to go back inside.”

“I know the feeling.”

After a few minutes, I allow myself to relax against him as we sit in silence under the tree. When he reaches for my hand, I open my palm to his. Our fingers interlock, the metal of his wedding band pressing against my thin finger. Sighing, he leans his head against mine, causing my heartbeats to skitter. Warmth travels from our linked hands all the way to my chest. An odd familiar energy pulses through us—a hesitant shyness mingled with gentle want.

Closing my eyes, I give in to the sensations and savor his closeness just as much as the cool breeze and the sound of the chirping birds.

“Thank you for bringing me out here,” I say softly. “I think I needed this.”

“I know.” He touches his lips to the side of my head. “I did too.”

Frustration and determination cling to me when Asher wheels me back to my room. I felt shackled the moment the automatic doors closed behind us. My short field trip to the courtyard lit a spark in me. I want freedom and fresh air. I want to be able to walk and eat and dress myself. Most of all, I want to live again.

I didn’t just lose eight years of my life while in a coma. I lost my entire life. Memories, experiences, relationships, loves and hates, my career, my family. Things I obviously believed in, worked for, fought for, and cherished.

All wiped clean like a crashed hard drive.

Even though all the unknowns waiting for me outside the hospital are terrifying, I don’t want to lose anymore time actually living.

“Are you excited about moving to your new suite tomorrow?” Asher asks after the nurse has helped me settle back in my bed again.

“I’m excited and nervous.”

“When I met with your doctor, he mentioned you could be discharged in less than the six months he originally thought.” He sits on the foot of the bed.

I take a sip of water from the bottle on my nightstand. “He said that to me too. Maybe three or four months if I do well.”

“That’ll be awesome. It’s going to be a lot of hard work for you, but I’ll be here every day. I’ll do whatever I can to help you recover. I can—”

“No.” I shake my head. “You shouldn’t do that.”

Chapter Fourteen

I blink at her, trying to convince myself she didn’t just say that. “What?”

“I want you to go. On the band tour you told me about.”

“Em, I agreed to tour with EverLust months ago. Way before you woke up. But there’s no way in hell I’m gonna trek around the country for two months now that you’re awake.”

When the guys from EverLust asked me to tour with them as a guest and run on stage to sing a few songs with them at each show as a “surprise” for the audience, I thought it would be fun. The fans love that stuff, and it would keep me busy without having to do full concerts. But I wasn’t planning on doing that now that Ember’s in rehabilitation.

“I think you should go,” she says. “You gave up a lot for her.” She pinches her eyes shut. “For me.”

The way she refers to Ember as if she’s an entirely different person and not herself continues to worry me, despite the doctor assuring me it’s a normal part of her recovery.

“I didn’t give up anything. You’re the priority for me.”

She sucks her lower lip between her teeth. “I think it’s best. They said therapy will be really hard on me physically. And mentally.”

“That’s why I should be here for you.”

She juts her chin out. “The doctor said it would be better if you weren’t here. That I’ll need time to focus. Adjust. Rest.”

“I know, but I can get around that. I’ll talk to him.”