Chapter 38


Saintcrow stood beside the bed in his lair. There had been other times in his long life when what he wanted wasn't right, but never before had he faced a decision like the one he had to make now.

Kadie was only a few moments away from death. Her body was shutting down. They had never discussed the possibility of her becoming a vampire. She had never expressed any interest in the Dark Gift. He knew that, deep down, she found his lifestyle repulsive.

Sitting on the edge of the mattress, he stroked her cheek. It was cold, so cold. Her breathing stopped.

Should he let her slip away into eternity?

Would she hate him if he didn't let her go?

How was he to know what to do?

Desperate to buy a little time, he bit into his wrist and forced a few drops of his blood down her throat, hoping it would revive her long enough for him to ask her what he should do.

"Kadie? Kadie! Dammit, wake up!" He shook her lightly, then a little harder. "Kadie! You will do as I say and open your eyes!"

He hadn't expected it to work, but a moment later she was staring up at him.

"Rylan?"

"Kadie, listen to me. You're dying. What do you want me to do?"

"Do?"

"I can save you."

"Be . . . like you?"

"Yes, but you need to decide right now."

"I . . . don't want . . . to be . . . vampire."

He nodded, knowing, in that moment, that his life had no meaning without her. When her life was over, he would bury her in the cemetery, and then he would burrow into the ground and sleep beside her.

"Don't . . . want . . . to leave you."

Taking her hand in his, he said, "I love you, Kadie. I should have told you that sooner, and often."

"Love . . . you." Her eyelids fluttered down. For a moment, he thought she was gone, but then her hand squeezed his. "Want to . . . stay . . . with you."

"Are you sure? You know what that means?"

"Do it." Her hand fell away from his, her heartbeat slowed again.

"Dammit! Kadie, hang on!"

She had to live long enough for him to drink from her, long enough for her to drink from him.

Tears stung his eyes as he pulled her into his arms. She was weak, so weak. With a sob and a prayer he had no right to utter, he drank from her, drank until her heart stuttered, and then, cradling her to his chest, he bit into his wrist and held it to her lips, one hand lightly stroking her throat, urging her to swallow. Had he taken too much? Waited too long?

"Drink, Kadie," he pleaded desperately. "Drink."

Nothing.

"Kadie, dammit, don't leave me!"

One swallow, two, three. She clutched his arm, drinking greedily.

Saintcrow blew out a sigh of relief as a hint of color gradually returned to her cheeks. Her heartbeat grew stronger.

"That's my girl." He closed his eyes, content to let her drink her fill.

Later, when she was sleeping soundly, he left his lair. Feeling restless, he walked down the driveway and kept going, his mind filled with thoughts of Kadie. She would sleep through the night and the next day and when she woke tomorrow night, she would be a vampire. Would she regret her decision? Or would she embrace her new lifestyle? Only time would tell.

He paused when he caught Ravenwood's scent. A moment later, the other vampire came into view.

"How is she?" Micah asked.

"Sleeping."

"You turned her, didn't you?"

Saintcrow nodded. "It was her choice. She was dying."

Micah shook his head. "I hope it works out, man."

"Thanks. And thanks for helping Kadie find me."

"How'd you know about that?"

"I read it in her mind."

"So, how'd Andrews bring you down? I thought you were impervious to just about everything."

"Yeah, me, too. Apparently some scientist came up with a Mickey Finn for vampires."

"What the hell's a Mickey Finn?"

"You are young, aren't you? It's an old slang term for a drink laced with drugs to knock you out."

"What are you going to do about Kadie's old man?"

"I haven't decided." Saintcrow drew a deep breath, then frowned. "You've been with Shirley."

Ravenwood nodded. "Yeah. We've been . . . dating."

"Dating? She's a little old for you, isn't she?"

"Maybe, but . . ." Micah shrugged. "I like her, you know?"

"Have you fed on her?"

"Hell, no!" Micah said. "Not that I haven't wanted to." He glanced toward Saintcrow's lair. "Guess I'll have to find a new place to hole up during the day."

"Sorry."

"Don't worry about it. I hope Kadie'll be all right."

"Yeah." Saintcrow raked a hand through his hair. "Me, too."

Later, walking back to his lair, he couldn't help wondering how what he had done tonight would affect his relationship with Kadie. Being selfish and territorial, vampires rarely paired off. That so many of them had lived together in Morgan Creek had been something unique. There were numerous stories of vampires who had destroyed their fledglings, stories of fledglings who had turned on their sires, and of fledglings who had so despised what had been done to them, that they had destroyed themselves.

It was out of his hands now, Saintcrow mused as he made his way down to his lair and closed the door. There was no way of knowing how Kadie would react to her new life.

For good or ill, tomorrow night would tell the tale.

Kadie woke feeling as if she were waking from a nightmare. Or maybe, she thought, looking around, she was still dreaming. The room was pitch black, yet she could see everything in vivid detail-each individual stitch in the blanket that covered her, the finest grain in the wood of the wardrobe, the hairline crack in the ceiling.

A moth fluttered in one corner. Not only could she see the tiny creature clearly, she could hear the whisper of its delicate white wings.

A deep breath carried Saintcrow's scent, and she realized that she was in his bed.

Sitting up, she wrapped her arms around her middle, a groan rising in her throat as a pain unlike anything she had ever known knotted in the pit of her stomach.

"Kadie."

She turned toward the sound of his voice. He stood on the far side of the room, watching her intently. He looked the same as always, and yet different. It was as if she was seeing him clearly for the first time.

"How do you feel?"

"Weird. This is the strangest dream I've ever had."

He smiled faintly. "I'll bet."

"My stomach hurts. I've never felt pain in a dream before."

He nodded. "I can make it go away, if you want."

"Please."

He was beside her while she was still speaking. A distant part of her mind told her she had to be dreaming. Otherwise, the sight of him biting into his wrist would have made her a little queasy. The scent of the blood oozing to the surface wouldn't have smelled so inviting.

When he held his arm out toward her, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world to lower her head and drink.

Surprisingly, it eased the pain in her stomach and she fell back on the mattress, and back into oblivion.

When she woke again, Saintcrow was lying on his side next to her.

"How are you feeling, Kadie?"

"Why do you keep asking me that?"

"Do you know where you are?"

"In your lair."

"Do you know why?"

"Because I'm dreaming." She smiled at him. "I've never had a dream quite like this one."

"Listen to me," he said. "You're not dreaming."

"Of course I am."

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your old man came to tell you that your sister was dying and wanted to see you. Do you remember that?"

She frowned. Hadn't that been part of her nightmare?

"Kadie?"

"I remember that. But we didn't go to the hospital."

"Where did you go?"

"He took me home. And locked me in the basement . . . and then I heard your voice in my head. I called Micah for help." Her frown deepened. "He took me to the hospital to find you. You were strapped to a table.... My dad pulled a gun and . . . and he shot me." She threw back the covers, her hands moving over her breast and belly. There were no wounds. But of course there weren't. It had been a dream. "And then I woke up here."

"What else do you remember?"

"I was dying. You begged me not to leave you. . . ."

He nodded. "What else?"

"I said I wanted to stay with you. . . ." She grimaced.

"You gave me your blood."

He nodded again, every nerve on edge as he waited for her to make the connection.

Sitting up, she ran her hands up and down her arms, patted her face with her fingertips. "Vampire."

The whispered word hung in the air between them.

"I'm a vampire." She stared at him, her hands clenching and unclenching at her sides. "I can't be a vampire. It's not possible. Rylan, tell me I'm dreaming, please."

"Would it be so bad if it was true?"

"I don't want to give up steak and cheesecake, or lying on the beach in the sun, or playing golf with my dad. . . ." Her eyes grew wide. "My father will hate me now!"

"Kadie, calm down."

"How can I? I'm not blaming you. I asked for this, but . . . I've changed my mind."

"There's no going back." He cupped her face in his hands. "Look at me. There were only two choices, Kadie. This, or death."

"I can't be a vampire! I don't want to spend the day locked inside a dark room. I don't want to drink blood." But she had, hadn't she? Or had that been part of the dream?

Drawing her into his arms, Saintcrow said, "We all think that way, at first. Your body has already accepted the change. It will take your mind a little longer to adjust. As for the blood . . ." He made a shallow slice in his palm and held it out to her.

Kadie stared at the crimson liquid in his cupped hand. With her enhanced vision, it looked deeper, brighter, redder than anything she had ever seen. No wonder it was Saintcrow's favorite color. An indrawn breath carried the scent to her nostrils, warm, sweet, sweeter than anything she had ever known. She licked her lips, felt a moment of shock as one of her teeth-one of her fangs-pricked her tongue. It didn't matter. She couldn't stop staring at the blood pooled in his hand.

"Do you want it?" Saintcrow asked.

She glared at him. "No."

"Liar."

"I hate you."

"I know. Do you want it?"

"You know I do."

"Then take it."

She leaned forward, torn between her body's craving and her mind's revulsion.

Her body won.

She lapped it up like a kitten at a bowl of cream.

When she finished, she turned her back toward him, unable to meet his gaze.

"Kadie?"

She wiped her hand across her mouth, then shook her head. "Go away."

"You're embarrassed."

She nodded.

"There's no need to be."

"Did you ever feel like this? As if you'd lost yourself ?"

"Yeah. It's common for our kind to feel that way at f irst."

"Our kind," she repeated, her voice ever so soft. And then she lifted her head, her nostrils flaring. "What is that?"

"What's what?"

"That sound? Like . . . like distant drums."

"They're heartbeats, Kadie. The heartbeats of the people in town. Compelling, aren't they?"

She nodded. Compelling was putting it mildly. The sound sparked her hunger.

"Kadie, look at me. Tell me what you're thinking." He could have read her mind, but he wanted her to put it into words.

She shook her head, still not meeting his gaze.

"Okay, I'll tell you. You want to go into town, sink your fangs into the first mortal you meet, and drink that person dry. Am I right?"

"Yes!" She turned on him, her eyes filled with torment. "Help me, Rylan. I don't want to be a monster."

"Shh." He slipped his arm around her shoulders and drew her close. "You're not a monster, sweetheart. You never will be. I won't let that happen." He kissed her cheeks, the tip of her nose, licked a bit of blood from the corner of her mouth. "Get dressed, my lovely fledgling. We're going hunting."

"I feel like a ninja," Kadie remarked, staring at herself in a store window. She was clad in black from head to foot.

"You're a creature of the night now," Saintcrow said with a wicked grin. "You need to look the part."

"Very funny."

"Lighten up, Kadie. Hunting is supposed to be fun."

"Right."

"You didn't enjoy it?"

She had, but she didn't want to admit it. It didn't seem right. Saintcrow had called a young man to him, mesmerized him, and offered him to Kadie. She had expected to feel revulsion at what she was doing-after all, she was biting another human being-and hesitation at doing what should have been disgusting. Instead, she had drawn him close and bitten him where Saintcrow instructed. The taste, which should have repulsed her, was warm and sweet and satisfying in a way she had never expected. She had thought to feel guilty, but that hadn't happened, either. Somehow, her whole view of the world had changed.

"You didn't hurt him, Kadie. People give more when they're donating blood than you took. Just think of it this way-you needed blood and he was a donor. All we did was cut out the middle man."

She stared at him, then burst out laughing.

Saintcrow laughed with her, then took her in his arms and kissed her. She was going to be all right.

"What about my parents?" Kadie asked much later that night. After hunting, they had returned to Saintcrow's lair. Now, they were lying in his bed, wrapped in each other's arms.

"What about them?"

"I should let them know I'm all right."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes. No. I don't know." She bit down on her lower lip, her expression troubled. "My dad will hate me now, won't he?"

Saintcrow blew out a breath. He didn't know Ralph Andrews well enough to answer Kadie's question. Was the man fanatic enough to destroy his own daughter? Or did he love her enough to accept her as she was now? Saintcrow was pretty certain that no matter how Andrews felt about his daughter's transformation, the fact that Saintcrow had turned her would only make the man hate him more.

"Rylan?"

"I don't know, sweetheart."

"I'm not human anymore, am I?"

"That depends on you. You can be a monster if you choose, or you can be Kadie who's on a restricted liquid diet."

She poked him in the ribs with her elbow. "Very funny. This is no time for jokes."

"This is the perfect time for jokes. It's good for relieving tension." He smiled at her, his eyes hot. "Of course, I can think of another way that's even better."

"I'll just bet you can," she murmured dryly. But she didn't object when he rose over her.

One thing about being a vampire. She could make love all night long and never get tired.