“Do we all have destructive relationships?” Sierra heard herself ask.

“At least one! I attract them like magnets. Don’t you?”

She shook her head. “I haven’t been involved with anyone in a long time,” Sierra said, and then she wondered why she didn’t mention Connie. “If you don’t mind me asking, what do you do for work?”

“Nothing at the moment, but I’m looking to start a small business. I’m not ready to talk about it yet, but that’s why I’m scouting around a little bit. Looking for just the right place.”

“What kind of business?” Sierra instantly asked.

Neely grinned beautifully. “Did it go right over your head that I’m not talking about it yet?”

“Sorry,” she said. “I guess it did.”

“Let’s just say a specialty shop and I’ll tell you more when things start to fall into place. See, my crazy family did one nice thing for me—they left me a little nest egg. If I’m smart, and I am smart, I can turn it into a larger nest egg and take care of myself without ever relying on anyone again.”

“That would be so nice,” Sierra said.

“So, who do you rely on?” Neely asked.

“Well, no one, really,” she said. And then she wondered why she had said that. She relied on lots of people, she just wasn’t financially supported by them at the moment, but only because she didn’t need much to live on. “But I have a lot of nice people nearby if I ever run into trouble. My brother and sister-in-law, my sister-in-law’s dad, people I’ve met around town and...well, I’ve been seeing a very nice guy. He’s a paramedic and firefighter.”

“Oh, sounds hot! I got involved with a guy right after rehab, just a few months sober, and all we did was drive each other crazy until I left him. Then I did it again and again and again. I’m recovering and running from another one right now. I’m still tempted by the wrong people,” Neely said. “I’m starting to think that the only men who are safe for me are the ones I’m not attracted to.”

She’d picked herself a young businessman, she explained. A broker of commodities, a respectable guy who had sophisticated friends, and they drank and used worse than the lowlifes she’d known before. There was a radiologist—didn’t drink at all, and what a supreme asshole. Then she tried a simple blue-collar guy, a mechanic, who was such a demanding, controlling freak she wondered if she’d ever get away. A schoolteacher, a librarian, “And get this! A minister! I think he was the worst of all!”

“And through all that you didn’t drink?” Sierra asked, kind of astonished.

“Nine years. Come on, didn’t I have enough problems?” And then she laughed.

Sierra was captivated. She told Neely things she hadn’t told anyone in quite a while, things she hadn’t told Moody, a lot of them straight out of her notebook. Neely identified, understood, added her own stuff and even though Sierra had experienced that before, there was something about Neely that was so engaging, she felt like a spark ignited inside her. It was, she realized, that female chemistry in friendship that was almost like falling in love. Her nerves of feeling unworthy had shifted to the excitement of being chosen. They laughed until tears rolled down their cheeks, they whispered, trading in secrets, they made promises to each other to do this again and again. Neely did something that Sierra recognized but didn’t want to acknowledge—a kind of leap to intimacy. “We should take a little road trip up to Montana for a few days,” she said. She was ready to go on a trip with Sierra? They barely knew each other! And, “Or, how about Santa Fe? It’s wonderful this time of year. And I could stand to look at their shops, for business reasons, of course.” And she laughed.

“Well, that sounds great, but my brother is counting on me and I have a dog. Molly. She’s such a baby when I leave her.”

“A dog?” Neely said as if appalled. “Does she shed?”

“Oh yes. Sully, the owner of the place I’m staying, says she’s ninty percent hair.”

Neely curled her lip. “I’m not much of a dog person.”

“You like cats?” Sierra asked.

“I like goldfish,” she said, grinning naughtily. “As long as someone else is feeding them and cleaning the bowl.

Sierra was aware that was about the fourth red flag that she was choosing to ignore. She had been reluctant to mention her boyfriend when he was very important to her. She pretended not to rely on anyone when she did—every day. Neely invited her on a trip, though they’d only met once for pie and coffee. Neely didn’t much care for dogs...

Most women were experienced in negotiating friendships, but Sierra knew she was not. In a way she had been left behind. For her early years she was confined to her family, isolated from the world at large as much as possible. For her teen years on the farm, and by the time her sister and brothers left, she’d discovered booze, taking her out of her reality quite often. While other girls had their bonded friendships, Sierra had not. At least not friendships that were very important. She’d never had a close girlfriend. She wondered if that meant she’d missed a fundamental step in her emotional growth.

Sierra looked at her watch. They’d been there for two and a half hours. “Oh brother, I have to go. I left my dog with Sully and he likes to turn in early.” Then she bit her lip and rather timidly asked, “Do you think you’ll be around awhile?”

“Probably. Let’s exchange numbers. Unless you don’t feel comfortable...”

“No, I like that idea!” she said enthusiastically.

They plugged their numbers into each other’s phones, said farewell for now and all the way back to the Crossing Sierra was filled with hope and fantasies of a bond, having a real girlfriend, being a part of something with someone she understood and who understood her. Connie accepted her and for that she was grateful but it would be nice to be friends with someone who got her. She fantasized doing normal or at least almost normal things—hiking, meeting for dinner, maybe going to one of those boring AA social events together. She told herself just because Neely didn’t like dogs didn’t mean they couldn’t be good friends.

She bragged to Connie. “I met the coolest woman at the last meeting and we went out for coffee. She’s so classy, so funny and smart and we hit it off. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had a close girlfriend? Almost never.”

“Aren’t you and Maggie close?” he asked.

“We’re getting closer, but Maggie doesn’t really understand me the way Neely does. Neely has been through it all. And she’s so much fun.”

“Good for you, babe.”

When Sierra didn’t hear from Neely for three days she called her.

“Hey, Neely, how’s it going?”

“Who is this?”

“It’s Sierra! Just thought I’d check on you and see how you’re getting by.”

“Oh. Yeah. Pretty busy. Can I call you back?”

“Sure...”

There was a faint beeping on Sierra’s cell phone as Neely signed off. She might’ve been in the middle of something important, Sierra thought. Or maybe she’d been at a meeting somewhere.

But when Neely didn’t call back, Sierra sulked. She grieved a loss she hadn’t even had. Then she abandoned her dreams of having a best girlfriend. When she explained this to Connie, he just frowned. “Kind of sounds like she wasn’t very genuine,” he said.

“Know what bothered me most of all?” Sierra asked. “She doesn’t like animals. Her lip curled when I told her about Molly. And I still wanted to be her friend.”

“Maybe she’s allergic,” Connie said.

“She’s not,” Sierra said, even though she didn’t know that for sure.

* * *

When Tom asked Cal if he could bring a friend by the barn to have a look at what they were doing, the answer was simple. “Of course, Tom! You’re as invested in this remodel as I am!”

He was not expecting Tom to bring a woman. Cal was introduced to Lola and found himself squinting at her, trying to remember where he’d seen her before.

“Home Depot,” she supplied. “We’ve seen each other there, though I don’t think we’ve officially met.”

“Sorry, Cal, I should have told you it was Lola. I didn’t even think of it.”

“That’s no problem. So—we’re a couple of months of finishing work away from being done here, but we’re living here. As long as I keep the work site clean. The upstairs master and bath are nearly finished. We’re close down here. Maggie’s ordering stuff. Don’t even ask me what stuff...”

“Hi, Lola,” Maggie said, coming down the stairs, her belly leading the way. “I didn’t know Tom was bringing you out here.”

“We discovered we have a shared interest in remodeling,” Lola said. “I’ve put a lot of work into that old house I live in and it’s looking pretty good.”

“It’s better than good,” Tom said. “It looks as good as my house. Maybe better.”

“When Tom started telling me about this barn remodel, I couldn’t wait to see it. Thanks for letting me have a peek. We were talking about remodeling and found out it’s kind of a passion with both of us. Tom has actually flipped a couple of fixer-uppers. And that’s my dream job.”

“I thought you were taking classes toward your degree?” Maggie said.

“I thought the most practical thing for me would be a teaching degree,” Lola said. “I’m good with kids. And there’s some security in teaching, not to mention a small pension. Plus, there’s good vacation time—time I could put toward renovation. If I can find the right project.”

“Let me show you the upstairs,” Tom said. “We’re finishing the bathrooms up there and when we’re done with the tile and stone we’ll paint and carpet. That’ll go fast. We’ve got some new materials for the countertops and floors—not as porous, doesn’t stain...”