Chapter Twenty


Marisa was seated at a corner table when Kelly entered the restaurant. She was a pretty woman, Kelly thought -  impeccably dressed in a beige suit and white silk blouse.

"Meeting for lunch was a good idea," Marisa said, smiling as Kelly took the seat across from her. "I'm glad you called."

"I'm sorry I'm late." Kelly spread her napkin in her lap. "Did you order already?"

"No. I'm in no rush."

"The days are long sometimes, aren't they?" Kelly said wistfully.

Marisa nodded. "Indeed, they are. And getting longer as the season wears on. I'm not looking forward to summer at all. Shall we order?"

Kelly nodded. Marisa ordered a Chinese chicken salad and iced tea; Kelly ordered a turkey club sandwich and lemonade.

When the waitress left the table, Marisa leaned forward. "I have a feeling there's more to this meeting than just lunch. Is something bothering you?"

"I'm in love with Eddie."

"Eddie!" Marisa laughed. "I've never heard anyone call him that."

Kelly grinned self-consciously. "I don't call him that out loud, but that's how I think of him." She placed her hand over her heart. "In here."

"Does he feel the same about you?"

"I don't know. I hope so."

"But?"

"He scares me sometimes," Kelly said, her voice low and urgent. "He's so unhappy being a vampire. Did you know he tried to kill himself?"

"Grigori told me."

''It was awful." She shuddered with the memory. "I found him in the cellar. I was sure he was dead. His skin was horribly burned, and..." She broke off.

"And you're afraid he'll try again?"

"Yes. But what really scares me is the way he seems to need my blood. He says it soothes him. Why should my blood be any different from anyone else's? And what if someday he can't stop? What if he... ?" She couldn't say the words out loud.

Marisa covered Kelly's hand with her own. "I don't think Edward would ever hurt you, deliberately or otherwise. He's a strong man. As for why your blood soothes him, I'm sure it's because he loves you. And the need for blood lessens as vampires age, if that's any comfort.''

"Are you happy with Grigori? Are you ever sorry you married him?"

"Happy, yes. Sorry, no."

"But what about children?"

"That's difficult. I always wanted a big family. But I love Grigori with all my heart and soul. I can't imagine a life without him. And someday..."

''Someday what?''

"I'll become what he is so we can be together forever."

Kelly's eyes widened. "You want to be a vampire?"

"Not really, but it's the only way we can truly be together forever."

"I think it would be wonderful to be a vampire," Kelly confided. "Oh, not the blood part. I'm not sure I could do that. But just think: never to grow old, never to be sick. I could live without the sun. I've always been a night person, anyway. But the blood part..." She shook her head. "I just don't think I could do that."

Marisa drew her hand away and leaned back in her chair when the waitress arrived with their order.

Kelly grinned at Marisa when the waitress left the table. "Do you think she heard what we were talking about?"

Marisa laughed softly. "I hope not. You know, I read up on vampires a little after I met Grigori. It's no wonder no one believes in them. I mean, one book said that you could become a vampire if a cat jumped over your corpse, or if you were the seventh son of a seventh son. Who would ever believe such nonsense?"

"Well," Kelly said thoughtfully, "I suppose superstitions were a lot stronger in the past. I think people found ways to explain the unexplainable the best way they could."

"Yes, I suppose so."

They ate in silence for a few moments. Kelly glanced around, wondering what people would think if they knew she was in love with a vampire. Vampires in Los Angeles. Who would believe it? Sitting here, in a cozy restaurant, it seemed impossible.

She lifted a hand to her neck, felt a warmth where Edward had bitten her the night before. She had a sudden mental image of him lying in the cellar, trapped in his deathlike sleep.

"Have you ever asked Grigori what it's like for him during the day?"

"Of course. He told me it's natural for him to sleep during the day. He also told me that only young vampires are helpless when they sleep. He said he could sense the presence of others. I know there were times when he was aware I was in the room. He can stay awake a little after daybreak, and he can rise before the sun sets now. He told me that vampires, like humans, have a strong instinct for survival." Marisa paused a moment before going on. "He's also told me that the blood in Edward's veins is very powerful."

"Oh? Why is that?"

"Edward was brought across by Grigori. Grigori was brought across by Khira. Both of them are very old and very powerful. And he also has the blood of Alexi Kristov. It's a powerful combination. I should imagine he will soon be able to remain awake after sunrise and awaken before sunset. And as I said, the need for blood lessens as they grow older."

Kelly looked thoughtful for a moment. "So," she mused, "if Edward were to make me a vampire, would I be as strong as he is?"

"I would think so."

"How long are you going to wait until you let Grigori - what's the term? Bring you across?"

"I'm not sure. I was going to do it this year, after Christmas, but I think I'll wait a few more years. I want to spend as much time as I can with my family, especially my parents. Summer's coming. My folks have a cabin up at Big Bear, and we always spend a part of the summer up there. We usually go up there for Easter, too, and sometimes for the Fourth, or for Christmas. That's especially nice, with the snow and all."

"Sounds like fun," Kelly said wistfully. "I don't have any family - well, my mother, but she moved to England when she got married again. I haven't seen her in, gosh, must be four or five years."

"I'm sorry. You're welcome to come up to the cabin with us this summer."

"I don't think so. I'm afraid to leave Eddie alone, you know?"

Marisa nodded. "Another time, maybe, when he's more at ease with what he is."

"Do you have a big family?"

"Not really. Besides my mom and dad, there's just my brother, Mike, and his wife, Barbara, and their four kids. But we're close. And we always have a good time when we get together."

Kelly nodded enviously. Her only family was her mother and her father, unless she counted her mother's three ex-husbands and her dad's two ex-wives. "Is Grigori going with you?"

"If he does, he won't stay with us at the cabin. It's a little difficult to explain why he sleeps all day."

"I guess it would be," Kelly said, grinning. "Of course, you could always tell them the truth. Who would believe it?"

"I don't know," Marisa said, her expression somber. "Maybe no one. But if just one person believes, well, you have to be careful, Kelly. The word vampire is like the word shark. People panic at the mere mention of either one."

"Well, I guess that's true. But sharks are a real threat. No one believes in vampires these days."

"I do," Marisa said. "You do."

"Good point."

"Did Edward tell you that there's a vampire hunter in town?"

"A vampire hunter? You mean like Van Helsing in Dracula?"

"Yes, and he knows Edward."

"He didn't mention it to me."

"I'm sure he didn't want to worry you. Kelly, don't be afraid to love Edward. He needs it more than anyone I've ever known."

Kelly thought about Marisa's words while she drove home. While she cleaned the house. While she showered and brushed her hair. She dressed in a silky green blouse and black jeans and then went downstairs. She tried to read the paper while she ate dinner, but she saw Marisa's words in the newsprint, heard them while she did the dishes and put them away. Don't be afraid to love Edward. He needs it mare than anyone I've ever known.

It was raining again. She lit a fire in the hearth, then curled up on the sofa to wait for Edward to rise.

She loved him. If he loved her, perhaps they could have a life together. She had already adjusted to his lifestyle. Perhaps...

She felt his presence in the room, turned slowly to face him. His eyes, a deep fathomless blue, gazed back at her. A flame burned in their depths - a hunger that went beyond desire, beyond need.

He glided toward her, soundless, a predator on the scent of blood. Her gaze moved over him. He wasn't darkly handsome like Grigori. Grigori looked like a vampire should look, with his black hair and eyes. But not Edward. Dressed in a white sweater and gray slacks, he looked like the angel she had once thought him to be.

Her heart pounded wildly, thundering in her ears, as he sat down on the sofa beside her. "Edward." His name slid past her lips, hardly more than a whisper.

"Don't be afraid of me," he said.

"I'm not." It was a lie, and they both knew it.

"I will not hurt you; I swear it."

She offered him her throat, closed her eyes as he bent his head toward her. His breath was warm against her neck, his hand cool on her arm. There was no pain this time, only waves of pleasure that were oddly sensual.

"Kelly?"

Her eyelids fluttered open and she stared up at him. "It didn't hurt at all this time."

"Guess I'm getting better at it," he muttered.

"I love you, Eddie."

"Eddie?" He swore softly. "No one has ever called me that."

"I'm sorry, I won't do it again."

"No, no, I like it." He stared at her, blinked, and blinked again. "What did you say?"

"I love you."

"Kelly!" He shook his head. "You can't."

"But I do." Tears burned her eyes. "You're still in love with Marisa, aren't you? She's beautiful. I had lunch with her today."

"You did?"

She had shocked him this time; she could see it in his eyes. "Yes. We had a nice visit."

"What did you talk about?" he asked, his voice wary.

"What do you think?"

"That's what I was afraid of." He shook his head. "And you're still here."

"She told me there's a vampire hunter in town. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to worry you."

"That's what she said. Is it someone you know, from before?"

Ramsey nodded. "He is an old friend. We have worked together in the past."

"Does he know? Did you tell him?"

"Hell, no. He probably would have staked me on the spot."

"But you said he's your friend!"

"He was, when I was human. He would be my enemy now, as I would have been his if the situation were reversed."

"I'm sorry, Eddie."

"Kelly." His hand stroked her cheek, slid around to cup the back of her head, slowly drew her closer.

Her eyelids fluttered down as he kissed her. His kiss was warm and tender. She felt his need, his desire. His loneliness. Once again, she heard Marisa's voice in the back of her mind. Don't be afraid to love Edward. He needs it more than anyone I've ever known.

Almost as if she could read his mind, she knew it was true, knew he had been lonely most of his life. He had dedicated his heart and soul to destroying those he considered evil, and now, in a cruel twist of fate, he had become what he hunted. He had lost his reason for living, and the loneliness, the emptiness, was slowly eating him alive.

She put her arms around him and drew him closer, her body pressing against his, her hands moving restlessly over his back, under his sweater. His skin felt warm beneath her fingertips. Her blood had done that.

She was breathless when they drew apart. She gazed into his eyes a moment, and then she kissed him, her tongue sliding over his lower lip. He gasped, his arms tightening around her, crushing her close.

"Eddie..."

"Kelly, I... we shouldn't..."

"Don't stop," she whispered. "Please don't stop."

"Have you ever... you know?"

She titled her head to the side, a question in her eyes. "Made love, you mean?"

He nodded.

"Of course. Haven't you?"

"Just once," he admitted. And then wondered if Marisa had told her about Khira. Girl talk! He was in uncharted waters in every direction. "Well... twice," he amended.

She was smiling at him tenderly. "You still remember how, don't you?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Why not? Oh!" Her cheeks turned scarlet. "You can't, can you? That's why Marisa can't have children. Oh, Eddie, I'm sorry."

He looked at her, his brow furrowed, his mouth agape. And then he laughed. "Is that what you think? That I'm a eunuch?"

"Yes. No. I don't know. I thought... Marisa said..."

"Vampires are sterile, Kelly. The dead cannot create life." His arms fell to his sides, and he stood up. "This will never work."

She reached for his hand, pressed it to her breast. "It doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters. You are a young woman with your whole life ahead of you. You deserve a man - a whole man, one who can give you children, one who can share your whole life, not just half of it."

"It doesn't matter. None of that matters."

"Damn it, Kelly..."

"It's true. I love you, Eddie, for better or worse. You said you loved me before. Did you mean it? If you don't, say so, and I'll leave, but if you do, then at least give us a chance. Please give us a chance."

He dropped to his knees in front of her. "I do love you, may heaven help us both. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. And I need you, more than you can imagine." His knuckles stroked her cheek. "And not just your blood. But I'm so afraid..."

She put her fingertips over his mouth. "Don't be."

He took her hand from his mouth and kissed each finger. "You're the one who should be afraid," he murmured, and then, unable to resist her any longer, he stood in one convulsive movement, lifted her into his arms, and carried her up the stairs.

As soon as they entered her bedroom, doubts plagued him again. "Are you sure about this, Kelly?"

She nodded. "I'm sure, Eddie."

He smiled faintly. Eddie. Hearing that name on her lips made him feel more human somehow, younger, carefree. He lowered her to the bed, sat down beside her, and drew her into his arms. He felt like a teenager, nervous and unsure of himself.

Kelly wrapped her arms around him. "Kiss me, Eddie."

Her lips were warm and sweet, like honey kissed by the sun. He held her tighter, afraid to let her go for fear she might vanish. She moaned softly, a purely feminine sound of pleasurethat sang through every fiber of his being. She leaned into him, her breasts flattening against his chest as her tongue danced with his. Desire blazed within him, hotter than the fires of the unforgiving hell that surely awaited him.

He groaned, the ache of his need painful in its intensity.

His senses came alive at her touch. His nostrils filled with her scent: shampoo and toothpaste, the soap she had bathed with, the chicken she'd had for dinner, a hint of smoke from the fire in the hearth, and over all, the tantalizing scent of her blood. His tongue stroked her lips, her neck, the taste of her skin more intoxicating than wine. He listened to the sound of her breathing, the beat of her heart, the soft sounds of pleasure rising in her throat. His hands slid under her sweater. Her skin was satin-smooth beneath his fingertips, warm with life.

He swallowed a gasp of surprise when she took his hand and placed it over her breast.

"Kelly." Her name was a groan, a plea.

Her clever hands removed his sweater; he kicked off his shoes. She shrugged out of her blouse; his hands were trembling visibly when he removed her bra.

"You are beautiful," he murmured. "So very beautiful."

He drew her into his arms, felt the warmth of her skin against the coolness of his own. Desire pounded through him. His fangs pricked his tongue.

He pressed her down on the mattress, one of his hands trapping both of hers over her head.

She gazed up at him, fear clouding the passion in her eyes. "Eddie?"

Fighting for control, he took a deep breath. The scent of her blood aroused his hunger. The beast roared to life, demanding to be released.

He opened his eyes, and for a moment he didn't see Kelly; all he saw was a way to end his pain, satisfy his hunger.

"I love you, Eddie," she whispered. "No matter what, I love you."

He closed his eyes, his whole body trembling as he fought against the pain, the hunger. It was a battle he could not lose. Doing so meant losing Kelly, losing his one chance at finding a measure of happiness in the hell that was his life.

"Let me," he whispered.

She turned her head to the side and closed her eyes, but not before he saw the tears trembling on her lashes.

It was the bravest thing he had ever seen anyone do.

He released her hands and slowly bent his head toward her. Murmuring her name, he ran his tongue over her skin, felt his fangs prick the tender flesh of her neck.

Her blood, the sweetest nectar in all the world. It soothed him, conquered the unnatural hunger, freed his natural senses to respond to her own need. She was reaching for him, her hips moving restlessly. "Please, Eddie..."

"Kelly. Kelly."

He had taken her blood, and it had forged a link between them that could not be broken. He whispered her name over and over again as he drew her back into his arms, his hands and lips adoring her as he claimed her at last - claimed not only her body but her passion and her love. Joined flesh to flesh, her thoughts became his, so that he knew what she was feeling, what she was thinking. What she wanted. He granted her desires before she could utter them, pleasured her as no other man ever would.

He had heard that people in love considered themselves two halves of the same whole, two souls but one flesh. He knew now what that meant, knew it in ways that mere mortals would never know.

It was an experience like no other. He was in his own body and in hers, experiencing everything she felt. Every sense was heightened, sharpened. She was his now, mind and body and soul, and he would love her and protect her as long as he had the power to do so.