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Page 9
Besides his regular payments and then tuition, he’d always sent extra for their daughter’s birthday and at Christmas. The first seventeen years following their divorce, he wrote Aurora once a month but they were never long letters. Mostly he sent postcards to let her know where he was and if he was winning. Winning had always been important to Maverick. In fact, it was everything to him. He lived in search of the elusive jackpot that would set him up for life. To the best of Elise’s knowledge, he’d never found it.
“If you want to keep in touch with your father, that has nothing to do with me,” she primly informed her daughter. Elise had read those postcards, too, and wished she hadn’t—because she was afraid it meant she still cared, still hungered for what was destined never to be.
“Dad and I talk every now and then.”
Elise knew that too. When Aurora was a child, she’d been so excited whenever her daddy called. As an adult, she reacted the same way. Aurora hadn’t been disillusioned by her father yet, and Elise hated the thought that eventually her daughter would face the same disappointment she had. Maverick didn’t intend to hurt those he loved. He was simply careless with the feelings of others; the people he claimed to love never came first with him. He just couldn’t be trusted. If he said he’d be home by nine, he meant he’d be home at nine unless there was a card game going. His moods were dictated by whether he won or lost. If he won, he was elated and jubilant, swinging Elise in his arms and planning celebration dinners. If he lost, he suffered fits of anger and despair.
“He’s coming, Mom,” Aurora announced. She looked directly into Elise’s eyes.
“Coming,” Elise repeated as a numbing sensation spread through her. “To Seattle?”
Aurora nodded.
“Is there some big poker tournament taking place here?” Not that she was likely to know about it.
“He’s coming to see me,” Aurora added with more than a hint of defiance.
“How…fatherly,” Elise murmured sarcastically. “Once every five or ten years he—”
“Mom!”
“Sorry.” Elise clamped her mouth shut before she could say something she’d regret.
“This is what I never understood about you and Dad.” Her daughter seemed to be struggling to hold on to her composure. “You make me feel like I’m being disloyal to you because I choose not to ignore my father.”
“I do that?” This was a painful revelation, and Elise swallowed hard. All she’d wanted was to protect Aurora from certain disillusionment.
Aurora nodded and the tears that brightened her eyes were testament to the truth of her words.
“I’m so sorry. I never realized…I—I did that.” The guilt was nearly overwhelming.
“But you do. Never once in all the years I was growing up did I hear my father say a negative thing about you. Not once, Mom, and yet I can’t remember you ever saying a kind word about him.”
“That is not true.” Elise had tried hard to hide her feelings toward Maverick from their daughter. Surely she’d succeeded—hadn’t she? Gazing into her daughter’s pain-filled eyes, Elise realized that she hadn’t.
Aurora’s shoulders rose in a deep sigh. “Please, Mom, I don’t want to argue about this.”
“I don’t, either.” Racked with self-recrimination, Elise patted her daughter’s knee. “Your father is…your father. I wish I’d given you a better one, but that’s my mistake, not yours.”
“See what I mean?” Aurora cried. “You don’t have anything good to say about him.”
“I was the one married to him, remember? I loved Maverick but we weren’t meant to be together.”
“I know he failed you. He admits it.”
“He failed you too.”
“In some ways, yes, he did,” Aurora agreed, “but in other ways he was a wonderful father.”
Elise understood that Aurora had to believe this. Maverick was the only father she had, and his behavior, his long absences, were all she knew. If she’d ever wondered why he traveled as much as he did, she’d never asked her mother.
“So,” Elise said. The numbness had started to leave her. “Your father is visiting Seattle.”
“Yes, he is.” Aurora seemed to be waiting for more of a response.
“I don’t have a single qualm about you seeing your father,” Elise assured her. “He hasn’t even met his grandsons.”
“He’s looking forward to that.”
Again Aurora stared at Elise as if expecting something more.
“I don’t have to see him,” Elise said. Any encounter with him would be impossible. If Aurora wanted permission to visit with her father, then that was fine with Elise. But when it happened, Elise didn’t plan to be anywhere in the vicinity. “Have him over for dinner or whatever. I’ll conveniently be out for the evening or however long you need.”
Maverick would thank her. Elise was fairly sure he wasn’t any more interested in seeing her than she was in seeing him. They hadn’t spoken in years. There’d been no reason for them to have contact, which was the way Elise preferred it.
“You won’t be able to avoid seeing Dad,” her daughter said, her eyes fluttering in every direction.
“What you do mean?” Elise demanded as a sinking feeling settled over her.
“Dad will be staying here.”
“At the house?” Elise was aghast. This couldn’t be true, but she knew from the undeniable confirmation in Aurora’s face that it was. The numbness was back in full force, and spreading down to her legs. “Does he know I’m living with you?”
Her daughter answered with a nod. “I told him, but he still wants to come.”
“For…how long?”
Aurora hesitated. “Two weeks.”
“Two weeks?” Elise exploded. The book fell onto the patio floor as she sat upright. “That’s out of the question! You can’t possibly believe the two of us can remain in the same house—together—for that length of time.” She blamed Maverick for this. He’d manipulated their daughter into agreeing to it, no doubt because he was down on his luck and penniless. Elise wanted to weep. “I’ll find someplace else for a while,” she murmured, thinking out loud. Really, that would be her preference, but all her things were in storage and God only knew where she could move for that short a period.
“Mom, calm down.” Then, in a softer voice, she added, “Please. There’s no need to overreact.”
Sliding her legs over the edge of the chaise, Elise felt like burying her face in her hands, an urge she resisted. This was going to be a disaster, but her daughter didn’t seem to recognize that.
“Dad’s never asked anything of me before,” Aurora said. “I couldn’t refuse him.”
“He tried the pity approach?”
“No,” she snapped and seemed offended that Elise would suggest it. “He didn’t. Dad has always been generous and wonderful to David, me and the boys.”
“The man isn’t to be trusted.”
“That’s only the way you view him, but to me, he’s my father.”
Elise felt guilty all over again. She was determined not to say another negative word about her ex-husband. “Okay, so he’s going to visit for a couple of weeks.”
Aurora nodded.
“And you’re sure he knows I’m living with you?”
“Yes.” From the tone of her daughter’s voice, Elise suspected this was a complication Maverick hadn’t expected. Well, whatever he was after, whatever he wanted, he’d have to get it past Elise—and she, thankfully, was wise to him. She wouldn’t be so easily fooled.
“Where will he sleep?” The three-bedroom house was adequate in size but there wasn’t a guest room. Elise had taken the third bedroom and arranged it into a tiny studio-like apartment. She had a microwave, her own bathroom, a television area complete with rocking chair, and her single bed. That was all she needed. She had privacy, a small refuge from the world, and could retreat to her room in order to give her daughter and family their own space.
“I’m putting Dad in with the boys.”
That was a wise decision. Her grandsons, while an absolute delight, could be little hellions. Maverick was unaccustomed to being around children. Elise suspected he wouldn’t last long sleeping in the same room as Luke and John.
“This isn’t the easiest situation,” Aurora continued.
Elise rolled her eyes toward the sky. “That’s putting it mildly.” Then she instantly felt another wave of guilt.
“I need you to work with me, Mom, not against me.”
“I would never do anything to hurt you,” Elise told her daughter, hiding her distress that Aurora would even imply such a thing.
“But you want to hurt Dad.”
“That’s not true,” Elise denied hotly. “I don’t have any feelings toward your father one way or the other.” That was a lie and her face flushed with color as she said it.
“Mo—ther,” her daughter cried, challenge in each over-enunciated syllable. “You have so many unresolved issues with Dad, it would take days to list them all.”
“You’re being ridiculous.” Her daughter knew her well, but at this moment what mattered was maintaining a pretense of complete indifference. Somehow she’d survive these two weeks.
Aurora sampled her iced tea for the first time, her knuckles white around the glass. “I don’t want to get into that with you, especially now. I need your word that you won’t say or do anything, and I mean anything, to upset Dad.”
“I would never—”
“It’s crucial to keep the peace. I don’t want to subject the boys to your anger toward Dad.”
Elise was upset that her daughter could believe she’d be the one to cause problems. “You have my word I will do whatever I can to make your father’s stay as pleasant as possible.” If that meant hiding in her room for the next two weeks, then so be it.
“Don’t promise this lightly, Mom. It’s the most important request I’ve ever made of you.”
Elise wondered again whether she should move out and save them all this grief. Sadly, she had nowhere else to go. She was stuck in the same house with the man she’d both loved and hated for the last thirty-seven years.
CHAPTER 7
“Well-fitting and carefully knitted handmade socks are the ‘real’ ones; the store-bought variety are just pale imitations.”
LYDIA HOFFMAN
This was my first sock class and I was excited about our one-o’clock gathering. In the last year, I’ve taught several classes, and I’ve learned in the course of teaching that it’s critical to have the right mix of personalities. I had my doubts about the women making up this class, but I didn’t want to borrow trouble.
The personalities of the three women who’d enrolled for this one reminded me of my first knitting class the year before. Elise, Bethanne and Courtney had nothing in common that I could see, except a desire to knit. I’d felt the same way about the baby blanket class with Jacqueline, Carol and Alix. They were as different as any three women could be and yet we’d all forged enduring friendships in a remarkably short time. I continued to marvel over that and hoped history would repeat itself, although I didn’t really expect it. Generally I’m not a pessimist—unlike my sister—but Elise Beaumont struck me as unyielding and circumspect, so self-contained. Bethanne Hamlin, judging by our brief meeting, was nervous and jittery, ready to run and hide at the slightest noise. Courtney Pulanski was a teenager. I felt sorry for her—the poor kid looked aghast when her grandmother insisted on signing her up. Unfortunately, I just didn’t see these three people as a good mix.