“She couldn’t tell you, Trent,” Travis said. “It was a safety issue.”

I stood, looking around, holding out my hands. “Because we’re all safe now? Awake at three a.m. with two … sorry, three feds babysitting us to make sure whoever you pissed off doesn’t gun down our kids?”

“I know it sounds bad, and I understand you’re angry. And it’s not over yet. I’m sorry, Trent, I really am. I never meant for any of this to happen.”

Travis being so patient and calm only made me angrier. I took a step toward him, but Camille stood between us.

“Trenton!” she yelled, holding up her hands.

“Travis, go back to your wife,” Dad said. “Trenton, sit your ass down. Now. We’re not going to understand tonight, and we don’t have to. What’s important is keeping our family safe.”

I grudgingly sat down, obeying my father. He was feeble. Not nearly the intimidating man I remembered from my childhood, but he was my dad, and he deserved my respect.

Camille took a few steps toward me, asking permission without using words. I scooted over and held out my arm, and she rushed to sit next to me, burying her face in my neck and wrapping her arms around my middle. Deep down, I knew her keeping Thomas’s secret wasn’t a matter of her choosing to be loyal to him or honest with me, but it was hard to push that completely from my mind. I hugged her to my side, but only because I refused to let a seven-minute-old feeling of betrayal overshadow the love I’d felt for Camille for most of my life.

“Is Abby sleeping?” Ellie asked.

“She can’t,” America answered. “She wants to see Carter. They’re supposed to tell us soon when she can.”

“I’d like to see her if I can,” Ellie said.

“Me too,” Falyn said.

Travis gestured for them to follow, and they trailed behind him. Falyn turned to me with an unmistakable warning glare not to upset Camille while she was gone. I sighed and kissed my wife’s hair. She was quietly sniffing, her body jerking against me. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to say it was going to be okay. I didn’t know if it would be or not. I wondered what new heartbreak the next day would bring and how much more our family could take.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

TRAVIS

I WALKED INTO ABBY’S BIRTHING SUITE with Falyn and Ellie, instantly regretting bringing anyone but Carter. My wife’s face lit up for a fraction of a second, and then she tried to hide her disappointment with her sweet smile.

“We can go see him in a few minutes,” I assured her.

Abby’s hair was barely sprouting out of a low ponytail. Pieces had fallen out to frame her face. Her eyes were still red from delivery and then the tears after. I’d never seen her as devastated as the moment they took our son away.

“He’s beautiful,” Ellie said with a smile.

“You saw him?” Abby asked. She sat up on the bed and tucked the loose strands of her hair behind her ear.

“In the hall. He’s just at the end of this wing,” Falyn said.

“That’s comforting.” Abby’s eyes began to gloss over, and she looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold back the tears.

“It’s okay to cry,” Ellie said, taking the chair closest to the bed. “You’ve had a long day. You’re exhausted. Your hormones are going nuts.”

Abby wiped her cheeks. “I don’t want to cry.”

I sat down on the bed next to her, holding her hand. Several pieces of tape secured her IV that was now delivering antibiotics to stave off the infection that had caused her premature labor. She’d tried everything to get her contractions to slow down naturally, but the harder she tried, the more intense and closer together they were. When the doctor told her we were going to have a baby, she broke down. She had such a normal delivery with the twins, we were surprised that a single birth was anything but a breeze.

I knew more than just the infection was to blame. She also had the added stress surrounding my fucking job. Not only was I going to devastate my family to protect them, but it had put my wife and newborn son in danger. I was going to find a way to walk away from the FBI after this. Thomas and I would be lucky if our family was still intact.

“Stop,” Abby said, seeing the expression on my face. “There was nothing we could do. It’s just one of those things.”

“And he’s okay,” Ellie said. “He was wailing like a banshee all the way down the hall. Strong lungs with the temper of a Maddox. He’s golden.”

“Do you think we’ll be able to take him home?” she asked, suddenly hopeful.

I patted her hand. “Probably not. Not right away, anyway. But let’s wait for an update from the NICU before we get too upset.”

“You mean before I get too upset,” she said.

I raised her hand to my lips and closed my eyes. The guilt was almost too much to bear. I was glad Dad had stepped in when he did with Trenton because I was desperate to go back to the days when I could punch my way out of things. Nineteen seemed like a lifetime ago, and quite frankly, adulting blowed. It was so much easier to lose my shit and start swinging rather than to listen to Trenton being an insecure dick stick and having to be the bigger person when all I was trying to do was save his life.

“Baby,” Abby said, watching as my inner turmoil began to seep out.

“Trenton found out about the FBI,” Ellie said. “And that Cami already knew. He’s taking it pretty hard.”

Abby looked at me. “He’s taking it out on you.”

“Who else is he going to take it out on?” I grumbled.

Abby’s fingers intertwined in mine. “Just a little longer.”

I nodded, knowing we couldn’t say any more in front of Ellie and Falyn.

Abby recounted the moments of her labor and delivery, and they all cried again when she detailed watching the nurses wheel Carter out of the room. The sisters hugged, and then Ellie and Falyn returned to the hall outside the waiting room to check on their families.

Abby sighed, resting her head back against her pillow.

“Want me to lay the bed flat?” I asked.

She shook her head, wincing and pressing gently on her abdomen. “You should try to sleep. You’ve got a long day tomorrow.”

“You mean today?”

Abby looked up at the clock on the wall. “Liis will land in a few hours. The nurse said the recliner lays nearly flat.”